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Chapter 1: How do I teach my 18-year-old to budget when surrounded by wealth?
Well, I'm just wondering if there is any way or hope to get an 18-year-old to budget when they are surrounded by wealth and not limited by regular constraints. They have no debt. They're not paying for college. They're not paying for cars.
Who's 18-year-old?
My 18-year-old.
So you put some givens in there of which you control all of them.
I don't. Her family, the in-laws will give her money whenever she asks. She knows this. We homeschooled her, and she was taught very good values about money and morals, but then in high school, we allowed her to go into a high school. a brick and mortar where people will drive a different car to school every day just to show off their wealth.
And that's what she's been surrounded by for four years. And so she does not, she thinks everybody should get their own car. She thinks everybody, no 18-year-old needs to budget. And she's off to college next year, and we're trying to help her.
Who pays for college?
Well, her father will pay for it.
Are her father married to you?
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Chapter 2: What are the challenges of parenting wealthy teenagers?
You can have $5 and ruin your children because it hasn't got anything to do with the money. The money is not the variable. Right. And it's just a reflection of all the other crap that's going on, the dysfunction that's going on or isn't going on in the family. And so wealth just magnifies. That's all it does. It makes you more of what you are. And so if you're a grouch, you become super grouchy.
If you're kind, you become super kind. If you have a temper, you become a rageaholic. And don't you know who I am? That kind of junk, right? And anybody that gets in your way, you know, that's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. And so that's what wealth does to people, all of us. And so if you're a giver, it turns you into a philanthropist.
Wealth magnifies whatever's going on, good or bad, in the family dysfunction or function and in the individual. And so please enjoy your financial success with no fear of the money having ruined your child.
It's just about communicating this truth.
how blessed we are and this blessing comes at a cost this is how hard we have to work and this is what reality looks like and by the way you can tell your kids how hard we're working that you they have to experience that they've got to experience hard work even if you can afford to have a professional do it even if it's a pain in the butt and you don't want to go up and down the stairs and check their room seven times that's part of parenting whether whether you have no money or a ton of money there's just some basic things that kids need to experience and calling out that last caller dave
Being poor isn't the solution either, right? I wouldn't wish that on anybody. You can look at any health and relationship metrics. That's not the solution either. The solution is to continue to focus on those lessons like you just mentioned, whether you have little, whether you got a lot, man. cannot, don't steal from your kids.
You said to us, caller, if you just give an unlimited amount of money to a teenager, you're robbing them of their own dignity, of their own ability to stand up on their own two feet. It's criminal. And often it is parents propping themselves up. Look what I can do for my kid instead of let me teach my kid to stand up tall. And it's just, I don't say it's abusive, but it's really close, man.
So our kids attend a school like hers. That kid attended a high school in this area. Well, Williamson County, the county that we're in, is the wealthiest county in Tennessee. It's the 11th wealthiest county in the United States. It's full of country music people, tech people, hospital executives that are healthcare boom in Nashville, and there's some extreme wealth in this county.
And there's lots of these kids that people give a 15 year old a brand new BMW, which is the definition of stupid, by the way, because they're going to hit it like 30 minutes after you give it to them against a tree or their friend's car. So you might as well not tear up a good car while you're learning to drive. OK, so anyway.
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