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Chapter 1: What financial advice is given for someone with no retirement savings?
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Normal is broke and common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. Thanks for joining us, America. George Campbell, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author. He's my co-host today. Open phones here at 888-825-5225.
It's a free call, and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. John is in Fresno. Hey, John, what's up in your world? Hey, I'm a huge fan of both of you guys. So I'm, I'm debt free. I'm self-employed. I've got six figures in the bank, but by contrast, my girlfriend I've been with for four years has really, really bad spending habits.
It's almost like she doesn't know the difference between what she needs and what she wants.
And I'm trying to get her on board with some goals or some budgeting, but it's just really hard. You know, she's, She's just overspending on a whole bunch of stuff.
And we're trying to move and leave California, and I just don't know how to move forward or what they really do. Wow. How old is she? She is about to be 32. What does she make? How much income? Well, she would make about...
$1,600 to $1,800 a month, but she gives up a lot of her hours, and she doesn't drive. So there's ride share.
She's buying a lot of food at work instead of cooking or packing something. I wasn't asking about her food. I was asking about her work. Does she work full-time, or is she doing side gigs? What? No, I'm just saying that's where a lot of the money goes, and then she doesn't have enough to pay for housing. But she doesn't work much. $1,600 a month in California is poverty. Yeah.
So how did she exist before you?
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Chapter 2: How can couples manage separate finances effectively?
She lived with either friends or family, but she used to walk to work, and I guess it's never really been a lot of income for her.
You guys live together? Yeah, they're talking about moving away together. So have you been subsidizing some of this behavior so she can get away with it? Is that part of the issue? A little bit, and I was going to say I really don't want to enable further, you know. Yeah. Yeah. This is sticky, dude. It's really sticky. Okay. So how old are you? 33. What do you make?
I'm doing pretty good. So I am like a side gig guy, but I make about four to five a month. Mm-hmm.
But I got a lot of bills. You're talking about moving to where? Nevada. Why?
No state income tax. I can actually put a down payment on a condo, start building some equity.
Affordable real estate and no income tax. Okay. Those are good reasons.
Also, not a big fan of California for other reasons.
Okay. So the... The thing we know is the data tells us the number one cause of divorce in North America today is money fights and money problems. These are people that are on two completely different pages, not different personality styles, but different pages, different values completely. And so they spend their married life driving each other crazy.
You being a tightwad that crosses every T and dots every I and doesn't come out of the cave except on triple coup on Thursday, and her spending like she's in freaking Congress. Never the twain shall meet, right? And so, I mean, I don't want her to become a super tightwad nerd like you, although I think you're awesome because I'm kind of that way. But she's a free spirit.
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Chapter 3: What are the risks of using credit cards for everyday expenses?
But in order to qualify as wife material, she would have to be more emotionally mature. And so far, this lady does just enough to get by. Thank God it's Friday. Oh, God, it's Monday. Who can help me out? Yeah. And you've kind of got a little bit further vision. You're going to go a few places she's not going to get to go unless she goes with you.
And as long as she is engaged in this behavior and you are in this relationship, you are not going to be happy. Am I wrong? Don't think so. Okay. Is there anything you can say or do that you think would actually change her behavior?
I don't know. That's ultimately what I've been trying to figure out. I mean, I've been trying to give her some tips, you know, like, you know,
It was a trick question. You can't change her. And here's the hard truth. She's either going to become emotionally mature while you're together or it's going to take the breakup for her to get her act together. And right now it feels like the option is she's going to have to learn it the hard way.
If we switched gears and you said you had a daughter and she was dating a guy who spent everything he made, didn't work much, and was out of control with his impulses, you would look at your daughter and say, run away quickly, wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah. And so I'm going to tell you that, except I don't want to be quite that brutal, but I am saying don't marry this. Don't marry this.
You're going to have a long life. It'll be miserable. And don't live together and don't move to Nevada together. So you guys need to sit down and, you know, like the teenagers used to say, define the relationship. OK, if this is going towards marriage, then we are going to have to both be grownups.
And that's going to require a reasonable level of spending control on your part where you still enjoy life, not nerdy like me, but you still enjoy life. But you control your spending and a reasonable level of work ethic on your part where you actually freaking work and work while you're at work and stuff like that. And, you know, work is not an excuse to eat. Work's an excuse to work.
And so, you know, we're going to walk through those kinds of things. And the lady you've described has a long path to get to where I need her to be before I would want to marry her. And don't move to Nevada with somebody and shack up with them that you're not going to marry. That's just weird sex. Well, no, that wasn't – the plan was to eventually marry if it could work. Exactly. Yeah.
Yeah, so if you're going to move to Nevada together, get married. But don't get married until you do this. I wouldn't make the move until you figure this out. I think you can move, and then you continue the relationship long distance and just watch the behavior and say, honey, this is how I'm going to handle my life. You're going to be miserable with me. Because this is how I do things.
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Chapter 4: What steps should I take to secure my financial future?
And maybe we're not compatible. But let's talk about it. And do you want to work on that part of your life? And if you do, let's talk about it. And we can continue forward. And this is kind of turning a romance into a bit of a formula. But, dude, it's a formula. I heard an old man tell me one time, he said, if you marry a woman that loves to spend money, you better enjoy working.
That's a good line right there. Of course, the shoe could be on the other foot too, by the way. We could flip that over. If dude has an addiction to bass boats, you better enjoy both of you working because you're not going to be a stay-at-home mom because he's buying $90,000 bass boats to catch a bass that keeps outrunning him because that one has to be faster. You know, I got to upgrade.
I got to upgrade. That's a tough one. Marriage is hard, but making your life even harder knowingly, marrying someone, that's tough. You want to marry someone who's going to make your life easier. So, John, we're not just bearers of tidings of good news today. I'm sorry. But I would sit down with her. Maybe you guys enter some couples counseling and begin to talk through these things.
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Mary is in Pittsburgh. There she is. Hey, Mary's in Pittsburgh. What's up, Mary?
Hi. Hi, guys. I'm so excited to have you with me today. I really appreciate your show. Thank you. You've taught me so much. I've learned so much about finances. I'm 66 years old. We recently paid off all our debt. We paid off two cars in five years. Wow. $80,000. Wow. And we only have $10,000 in our emergency fund and about $10,000 in my 401k, and he's a 1099. He has nothing.
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Chapter 5: What key considerations should I think about when restructuring my trust?
The other thing that's bothering me, I'm just going to get it all out, okay? Because you called and asked, and I really like talking to you. Thank you. Because you really have a level head for somebody doing a whole thing based on romance. And this is a very romantic story. It's a very cool story.
I mean, the people that are infinitely generous, that are infinitely wealthy, and their children don't even care. I mean, this is strange. And so that's sweet, but it's weird. And so...
Chapter 6: How can I ensure my family is protected if something happens to me?
Yeah, I'd put a five-year limit on it, number one. Number two, I want you and your husband to do some prayerful soul-searching because this entire adventure is based on your desire to run a horse business. Nothing else. That's 100% the driver of this. And is that really what you want to be the driver of your whole life?
Because nothing else, we're doing everything else in this story to serve that one thing. And that's bothersome. You know, when I became a dad, something flipped. Suddenly, it wasn't just about me and my wife anymore. It was, what happens to my family if I'm not here tomorrow?
Chapter 7: What are the implications of quitting a high-paying job for early retirement?
And things like that just hit different when you become a parent. But I'll be honest, making a will feels heavy and complicated, and it's not exactly what I want to be doing with my time off. But here's the deal. Being a parent means doing the hard stuff, especially stuff that protects your family. And that's why I use Mama Bear legal forms.
No hassle, no lawyers, just a simple online tool that helped me create a legit will in about 20 minutes. So it was pretty much painless. Plus, I added a notch to my dad belt right there between installing car seats and bedtime stories. Listen, being a dad never stops. And making a will is how you make sure your family's covered even when you're not there.
Chapter 8: How can I improve my financial decision-making in the future?
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If you want to learn more about housing trends and see what the weekly mortgage rates are doing, what prices are doing across the U.S., well, we're on top of all the market trends, and we can help you buy or sell with confidence and even hook you up with a Ramsey-trusted agent. Go to ramseysolutions.com slash market, and we'll give you some help. Emily's in Chicago. Hi, Emily. What's up?
Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call.
Sure. How can we help?
Well, I'm 55 years old, and I've got four grown children. When my first husband passed away nine years ago and left me with some life insurance money, I had a revocable living trust created with my four children as beneficiaries. My house is fully paid for, and it's titled to the trust. So I got remarried four years ago to a wonderful man. And he moved into this house with me.
And he, of course, helps with some living expenses and upkeep here and everything. And the house is rising in value. So my question is, how much equity should I give my second husband in this house that was fully paid for before we got married? that I am fair to both him and the kids.
Well, the only way you could is if you restructure the trust, right?
Right, which I am about to do, actually. I have an appointment here in about three weeks.
So restructure your – have that appointment. Why?
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