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The Rewatchables

A Rewatchables Summer Mailbag!

05 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main topic of the Rewatchables Summer Mailbag episode?

6.207 - 24.789 Bill Simmons

The Rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. We have officially entered from hell month after one of the greatest episodes, if not the greatest episode in the history of the show, 2001 A Space Odyssey with the one and only Steven Spielberg and me and Sean. We are now entering officially from hell world.

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25.29 - 50.085 Bill Simmons

The next three movies we're going to do are going to be, get ready, Single White Female, hand that rocks the cradle and the good son. And all of those movies are on Netflix. So you can watch them. Uh, first podcast is going to be going up on Monday. What you're about to see is a mailbag. It's the rewatchables presented by FanDuel predicts. You can predict the summer soccer showcase.

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51.128 - 90.187 Bill Simmons

With FanDuel Predicts, from the opening game to the final whistle, stay locked in. Sign up now for your $25 bonus on FanDuel Predicts. Go to FanDuel.com slash predicts to sign up. Offered by FanDuel Prediction Markets LLC, a registered futures commission merchant. 18 plus restrictions apply. See terms at FanDuel.com slash predicts slash bonus dash offer dash terms. All right.

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90.327 - 107.075 Bill Simmons

Evergreen Summer Mailbag. Craig Horlbeck's here, our producer, sometimes on the pod. Chris Ryan, CR, the legend. I gave you no prep at all. None. We have some listener mailbag questions. Do you like when the no prep happens or you want the prep?

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107.215 - 111.642 Chris Ryan

If you want us to provide a list, sometimes it's nice, but otherwise, no, we can go. We can improvise it.

112.764 - 130.951 Bill Simmons

Okay. This is from Gerard. I want to nominate a new rewatchables category, the Danny McBride award for best character entrance. Within a minute, you understand exactly who this guy is, why he's a problem and why the movie went up a level. The criteria, the immediate. Oh, hell yeah. For Oh, no reaction. You cannot look away.

131.472 - 139.814 Bill Simmons

You know, everything you need to know about the character instantly alerts you that you may have a, who won the movie or Dion waiters award contender. on your hands.

139.974 - 143.698 Craig Horlbeck

Danny McBride has been a category name before.

143.938 - 157.754 Bill Simmons

Yeah, he already has a category, but I don't mind this. Yeah. This is based on his introduction to This Is The End, right? Well, I was thinking we just did Animal House and Bluto the first time you see him is a good intro, but there really is an art to the entrance.

Chapter 2: What new category ideas are proposed for the Rewatchables?

316.624 - 333.799 Bill Simmons

Oh, it's like we could rename this after. Walken and Pulp, Baldwin and Glengarry, Hartman and So I Married an Axe Murderer. And then he writes, the discussion always goes something like this. Bill, maybe we should think about renaming the award after Character X. Everyone else, Character X was great, but I don't think we can rename it. There's something about Dion.

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334.22 - 358.843 Bill Simmons

Bill, okay, I guess we'll keep it as the Dion Award. Then about three months later, the exact same discussion occurs. In order of this, I suggest a new conditional award called the We May Need to Rename the Dion Waiters Award No Nevermind for an actor who gives such a great performance the Rewatchables team pretends to reconsider an award then decides against it. That's good.

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359.023 - 367.196 Bill Simmons

It's a higher level than the typical Dion reserved for only epic Dion performances. he keeps going. It's like you're a Dion Waiters pro bowler.

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367.417 - 377.732 Craig Horlbeck

Yeah, it's like maybe you've been Dion'd before. Like you've done too many... Like Walken is Dion in multiple films, I think. Sure. He's like that in True Romance. He's like that in Paul.

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377.792 - 393.4 Bill Simmons

It's like a nomination. PT says, you could call it the Dion Plus Award in homage to Kendall Roy's ingenious Land Cruises pitch. Yeah. I thought that was good. The Dion Plus? I like that. It sounds like we're spinning it off into... I don't know.

393.48 - 399.308 Craig Horlbeck

I got to check in on Dion. He's somebody who I imagine would have had a podcast by now. Yeah, where is he?

399.328 - 418.514 Bill Simmons

Like Terrence Ross is breaking down videos. Like, where's Dion? Frank M writes in, Hey gang, I think Craig gets hottest take by saying you can cut the hitchhiker scene and there's something about Mary. Sometimes he needs a shock collar. I checked with HR and we can't give you a shock collar.

418.535 - 426.572 Craig Horlbeck

I also think this is a good opportunity for you to be like, I don't think... The Horlbeck scale is representative of you as a film fan.

426.592 - 446.32 Chris Ryan

I want to address this. Go ahead. Let's hear it. I think we should retire the Horlbeck scale because the purpose of the category is not to criticize good long movies. It's to celebrate good short movies. If I like a movie that's two hours and 15 minutes, I don't want to have to feel forced to rip a scene out of it.

Chapter 3: How do the hosts define the Dion Waiters Award?

586.057 - 596.047 Bill Simmons

The city was transformed. It just all of a sudden... And of course, I had moved by then. And every time I came back, I was like, how the fuck did we leave right before all this stuff happened?

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596.067 - 598.129 Craig Horlbeck

Big Dig is done so Jem can get back and forth from Charleston.

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598.189 - 605.906 Bill Simmons

Right. They never were able to escape that North End robbery. He has New York City 1998. I don't know how he came up with that one.

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606.928 - 608.911 Craig Horlbeck

98.

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608.992 - 624.758 Bill Simmons

It's interesting. Pre-911. Pre-911. Yankees going strong. Yeah. Knicks still in the mix. I personally would have gone mid-90s for New York for a variety of reasons. With the sports and just… SNL's in a decent spot in the late 90s.

624.778 - 625.679 Craig Horlbeck

SNL's coming back.

625.98 - 626.08

Sure.

626.515 - 639.037 Craig Horlbeck

I mean, I like early 2000s just because of the music. You had 9-11 at that point. That can't be Apex Mountain. I'm not saying it's Apex Mountain for like actual stuff. I just mean like, and that's also when I was there, you know?

639.377 - 657.354 Bill Simmons

So I would say late 70s for New York. Warriors. All the shit that was going. Yeah. Warriors. But you had SNL in full bloom. They're making all kinds of awesome movies there. The music scene has taken off. Ridiculous. It's the center of the porn industry. Sure. Professional wrestling.

Chapter 4: What are some memorable character entrances in film?

768.869 - 773.516 Craig Horlbeck

I would have loved to be there. Like the Mo Green era. That would have been good. Oh, yeah.

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773.957 - 789.942 Bill Simmons

Spangin' cocktail, which was too much. Mo Green. I'm excited for feedback on that. And then to get... We have to ask... He's saying it's like the actual... Just like where people... Because the reason it resonated with me... If you could choose a year to live in the city, what year would it be?

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789.962 - 797.814 Craig Horlbeck

I would love to live in Milwaukee during the Robin Yount era. Not the Dahmer era. No. But it seemed like pony bottles of Miller were everywhere.

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797.955 - 805.006 Bill Simmons

Because Boston definitely was 2004. That was the single year you would have wanted to live in Boston.

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805.988 - 806.068

Yes.

807.01 - 825.558 Bill Simmons

Chris Arrington wants to know, is there a movie you haven't done yet for rewatchables because it's so un-PC you worry about backlash? And who would you want as co-hosts on that pod? So really, Soul Man is Apex Mountain for this one. But I'm not against doing it. Blazing Saddles would be, I think, really hard to do. I don't know.

825.918 - 831.627 Craig Horlbeck

Blazing Saddles was on Turner Classic Movies last night. It's still, I think, regarded very well.

831.667 - 837.606 Bill Simmons

What about Revenge of the Nerds? That was the other one I had. But I would do all three of those. So I don't feel like there is an NPC.

837.646 - 857.643 Craig Horlbeck

You'd have to go into like… I mean, it's incredibly difficult to talk about Woody Allen's filmography and not address like the elephant in the room with him. And I think a lot of those movies like are hard to talk about. But I still really love Annie Hall. Like I love to do Annie Hall on… There's a couple like the… A couple dark movies that probably aren't rewatchables.

Chapter 5: How do the hosts assess the best and worst movie endings?

1048.576 - 1067.741 Bill Simmons

After listening to the Tropic Thunder episode, I think there should be an occasional category called the Joel Anderson I Prefer Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins Award for Is This Movie Still Rewatchable? That was amazing. Joel roped up this. He said he loved Tropic Thunder, and then it turned out he didn't. I still kind of enjoy having that energy in a pod.

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1067.761 - 1073.189 Craig Horlbeck

A point in the pod where I think the three of us all just sort of recede the platform to Joel.

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1073.229 - 1099.373 Bill Simmons

Yeah, we gave up. Kyle Potter... Craig, you're going to love this one. New flex category. The Michael Cera fucking pale, 110 pounds hairless, probably has a huge cock, coked out of his mind award for excellence in portraying a fictionalized version of oneself. So it's basically like a self-D on waiters. Yeah. He votes for Keanu Reeves in Always Be My Maybe.

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1099.353 - 1119.697 Bill Simmons

John Malkovich would be John Malkovich and Neil Patrick Harris and Harold and Kumar. That's great. And then said it could be extended to fictionalized portrayals of others like Anna Faris. It's like actors willing to subvert their reputation in movies. So he suggested Anna Faris taking down Cameron Diaz in Lost in Transition could be adjacent. Okay. I like the playing yourself.

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1119.777 - 1126.327 Craig Horlbeck

Do you like the… I wonder if Julia Roberts in Ocean's 12 pretending to be Julia Roberts actually counts.

1126.347 - 1130.334 Chris Ryan

It's like Bob Saget in Entourage pretending to be like the biggest asshole in the world.

1130.814 - 1137.345 Bill Simmons

So I had Kareem in Airplane. Eminem in Funny People is a good one. I thought everybody loved Raymond.

1137.545 - 1137.645

Yeah.

1138.233 - 1160.887 Bill Simmons

Bob Barker and Happy Gilmore, Lance Armstrong, Dodgeball, Julie Roberts, Malkovich, and then Johnny Chan and Rounders is a good one. Barker's a really good one. Sorry, John. I don't remember. I think that could be added to the flex, though. I like it. 110 pounds soaking wet probably has a huge cock.

Chapter 6: What insights are shared about memorable performances in cinema?

1321.22 - 1339.512 Bill Simmons

How's this supposed to work? He says, Natasha Hentridge is half alien, but her kid would be quarter alien. Then it'd be eighth alien and so on. Eventually human DNA is going to water down the alien DNA and you won't notice it. Humans down the road will just end up being 3% alien on their 23andMe test like they're 3% Irish.

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1340.313 - 1345.907 Bill Simmons

Plus, didn't those aliens send us to secret to unlimited energy as well as their DNA? They were good dudes. It's a decent point.

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1346.187 - 1350.658 Chris Ryan

Yeah. I don't know if the DNA would be strong enough that it wouldn't get watered down.

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1350.638 - 1366.856 Craig Horlbeck

Well, there's also the Henstridge is going around killing guys who are diabetic. It's like you basically winnow down the... Most human beings have some frailty, some flaw with them. So then you're just talking about her breeding with six guys after a while.

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1368.397 - 1378.148 Bill Simmons

I like the idea. I was trying to think of other examples where when you've seen a movie too many times and then you realize a plot has just been completely ruined, which basically is what's aged the worst or...

1378.938 - 1405.317 Chris Ryan

picking nits for us but that's that's a good one it was the bad plan by the aliens yeah it's like there's there should be a special like especially for ones that are like big movies for us like the thing I noticed on the 12th viewing of this movie you know when it's like why can't the aliens just come down to earth in their natural form and just kill all the humans yeah that could have been another move right right why do they need to look like a human and seduce a human it's like couldn't they just kill them zap them yeah

1406.613 - 1413.96 Bill Simmons

Silence of the Lambs is a good one for this. When they just have Lector at the top floor with like one security guard.

1414.841 - 1417.724 Craig Horlbeck

And he's also bringing him pork chop lamb chops and stuff.

1417.744 - 1423.809 Bill Simmons

And he asked for a second dinner and like, boy, that's weird. Like you see that enough times. What's the one we have for heat for this?

Chapter 7: How do the hosts relate personal experiences to movie categories?

1633.852 - 1655.842 Bill Simmons

We got $50 a day. It was November in the Bronx. It was cold. Sam Raimi obviously wanted jackets off to display late summer baseball. Bronx natives grew tired of the request. Look closely. Winter jackets are in the background. Nights grew long and cold. Extras grew impatient. And John C. Reilly couldn't catch or throw. Couldn't throw the ball back to the pitcher at all. Costner was dealing.

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1655.882 - 1678.625 Bill Simmons

Riley was fucking up takes left and right. The extras had enough. It was cold. The jeers began. Escalated into you fucking suck, Riley. Riley had enough. Flipped out. Screaming at the extras. Let me do my fucking job. He couldn't do the job. The next day. his lighting double replaced him in all catching scenes. And he's like, how is that not your winner for worst actor as an athlete?

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1678.645 - 1687.792 Chris Ryan

I would love to know which actor who had to play sports in a movie required the most training to actually be... you know, somewhat believable on screen.

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1687.812 - 1696.823 Bill Simmons

One of my favorites for this is Rob Lowe didn't know how to skate before Young Bud. Really? And they did this five-week speed session with him and then he actually got, like, pretty good.

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1696.883 - 1704.032 Chris Ryan

That would be a great documentary. I would love to watch, like, Kevin Costner just has to go on the Haney Project before Tin Cup just to learn how to play golf. Right.

1704.233 - 1714.686 Craig Horlbeck

Like, I'm trying to think of what would be the thing, what would be the athletic act that you feel like you could immediately go do and, like, plausibly do it on film right now?

1714.666 - 1719.379 Chris Ryan

I mean, I think golf is easy because it doesn't require any physical effort.

1719.399 - 1738.285 Craig Horlbeck

The problem with golf is that your swing always looks 20% more awkward and bad than you think it does. Yeah. Because in your mind, you're like, boy, I'm Kepka. And like… And then you look at a video of yourself and you're like, I look like I'm playing left-handed. What does that mean? I think I could throw a fastball in a movie, believably. I was going to say, I think I could do Riley's job.

1738.365 - 1746.855 Craig Horlbeck

I mean, it would be hard for me to get down in a squat for catching now, but I felt pretty natural being behind the plate. I was a pitcher growing up. I think I could get away with it.

Chapter 8: What are the funniest anecdotes shared during the mailbag?

1909.77 - 1911.173 Bill Simmons

Wait a minute. Didn't Lincoln win Best Picture?

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1913.096 - 1936.521 Craig Horlbeck

Yeah. No, but it didn't. It did not. He's never been in a film that won Best Picture Oscar. That's actually the wrong way to criticize Daniel Day-Lewis. Because, yes, first of all, he's unquestionably the best actor of his generation. Listen, I'm just reading the emails. I'm not saying I agree with it. I'm saying Daniel Day-Lewis fucked up by never being the bad guy in Con Air.

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1937.542 - 1944.591 Craig Horlbeck

Daniel Day-Lewis should have done one bad action movie where he's Hans Gruber. That would have just been amazing.

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1944.811 - 1961.797 Bill Simmons

Or done his version of Lecter and Silence of the Lambs. Yes. Did Daniel Day-Lewis need his training day? Is there another podcast that would compare Daniel Day-Lewis to James Harden? No. I'm just trying to imagine if Daniel Day-Lewis today was like, I love training day.

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1961.837 - 1964.581 Craig Horlbeck

I'm going to just remake it, but I'm Alonzo.

1966.123 - 1968.166 Bill Simmons

I love Taken. I liked what Liam Neeson did.

1968.186 - 1969.448 Unknown

Do you like to get wet? Yeah.

1971.976 - 1981.573 Bill Simmons

What basketball player is Daniel Day-Lewis? It's a tough one. It's somebody who won MVPs but was never on a title.

1981.613 - 1989.186 Craig Horlbeck

And transformed themselves. Yeah, because it's... In some ways, it's like the only thing you do is win rings. So is it Robert Ori? You know what I mean? Is it Mike Trout?

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