Why Success Can Still Leave You Feeling Behind | Jim Murphy

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Finding Peak with Ryan Hanley 42 min 1 speaker 8 chapters transcribed
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Why do high‑achievers feel guilty at work and at home?

Jim Murphy 0:00
If you want to live an extraordinary life, you have to constantly pull yourself out of the temporary situation you're in because selfless is fearless. And when fear is gone, love remains and love is fearless. Where
Ryan Hanley 0:10
I'm at work, I feel guilty for not being home. And when I'm home, I feel guilty for not being work. And every day I'm in this endless cycle and I just feel stuck and I'm not sure how to move
Jim Murphy 0:19
forward. really idolize the people that I work with, but what they don't realize is that I spend most of my time with miserable millionaires. The best possible life is one foot in joy and one foot in suffering.
Ryan Hanley 0:39
Jim, it's great to have you on the show, man. Thanks for taking the time. Yeah, thanks for having me. Yeah, so one of the things that initially connected, you know, being a former athlete yourself and you know, falling in love with psychology. And now this is what you do for people every day, high performers. I've always been shocked. Shocked might not be the wrong word. Intrigued by the fact that when you talk to individuals like yourself who have been and work with high performers, when you hear them in interviews, Mindset, the psychology that they use to get to these places is oftentimes like the very first place they wanna go. Yet, the rest of us, so many other people, right, who struggle to ascend to that next level, it's like the last thing they think about.
Ryan Hanley 1:30
Why do you... One, do you agree with the premise that the vast majority of people who find themselves underperforming, it's in large part because they don't work on their mindset? And two, why do you think there's that gap? Like, why isn't the very first thing we learn mindset, psychology, like the stuff that you teach every day?
Jim Murphy 1:51
Yeah, good question, Hanley. So when you say mindset, what I think of is the... The reason you're doing something, like what am I pursuing right now? Like what's my mindset for my performance? Or if I'm giving a speech, like what's my mindset going into the presentation? Why am I doing this and what am I really going for? And to me, your mindset is the foundation of mental toughness. We live in a world that is... As humans, we're led around by our eyes. We see a beautiful sunset or sunrise, and we're in awe. We watch a great movie or see a beautiful person. We stop in our tracks. And if we see something scary or traumatic, then we're scared and traumatized. And so humans are easily caught up in their circumstances.
Jim Murphy 2:55
And yet if you want to live an extraordinary life, you have to constantly pull yourself out of the temporary situation you're in and into the bigger picture or what I think of as the realities of heaven where anything is possible. And so I think what the greatest do is they continually see a longer horizon and a much greater vision than the average person sees. And that's because they're pursuing something much more than a temporary result.
Ryan Hanley 3:22
And is that innate? Like if I'm not born with that, then I'm screwed? Or is this something we can develop through practice and work?
Jim Murphy 3:32
We're born with a self-centered nature. And so it's something that needs to be trained. Every human is born self-centered. When I say self-centered, I mean everything that we do as humans is naturally going to have ourselves in the center of it. What do I want to do today? What am I going to eat? What are my goals? what's gonna happen to me and my family and my career. This is the normal, inherent way of living in the world. And it leads to fear and comparison and anxiety. I think of anxiety as a mind of too many thoughts and too many concerns. And so, but if you wanna live the best possible life, you wanna be the best performer, the best speaker, then you need to get out of the way. We need to get out of that fear, that self-centeredness that leads to fear because selfless is fearless.
Jim Murphy 4:22
And when fear is gone, love remains and love is fearless.
Ryan Hanley 4:26
Is this kind of the concept of detaching from the outcome? Is that like... detaching from that self-centered nature or the outcome of every action and how you apply like your own self-worth is this is this the exercise like is this what we're trying to do when you say like you know moving away from that self-centered nature yeah that's part of it

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