Trust Me
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Why does Ryan say 'Trust me' feels so confident but often fails in practice?
What's going on, my friends? Welcome back to the Ryan Lee Podcast, where we love to keep things short and sweet for you each and every week. I believe that today's episode is absolutely going to add value to your life. Today's episode is entitled, Trust Me. Trust me. Two of the most confident words in the English language. Trust me. And we say it all the time. Trust me. This restaurant is amazing. Trust me. You're going to love this show. Trust me. I know a shortcut. And then you end up in a ditch somewhere because their shortcut went through a construction zone and a cow pasture. Thank you very much, my friends. But here's what's fascinating. We say trust me with so much confidence. And yet when someone else says it's us, our first instinct is, I don't think I will trust you.
Pew Research actually found that only 34% of Americans believe most people can be trusted. That number has been declining for decades. And when researchers ask people how many close friends they can truly lean on, the answer is about three to five. That's it. Out of everyone you know, everyone you've met, everyone you follow, everyone who follows you, you've got maybe five people you trust with something real? Five? Your circle of trust is tiny. And... You're not alone in that. Most of us are walking around with a very small list of people that we'd hand our secrets to. And honestly, that makes sense. Because life teaches you lessons. You trusted someone and they told your business. You confided in a co-worker and it got back to your boss.
You opened up to a friend and they used it against you. You let someone in and they let you down. And so what you did is you built a wall. And that wall has done a great job keeping people out. The problem is, it's also kept some good people out too. Now, here's where this gets interesting to me. Here's the part that had me up at like three in the morning the other day. I was like, no, I've met plenty of people who don't trust nobody, right? You have too. Maybe you're that person. I don't trust nobody. I get it. But, I have never met a single person in my life who thought they themselves couldn't be trusted. Think about that for a minute. Nobody walks around saying, hey, I'm untrustworthy. Keep your distance.
Like, you've never had a neighbor knock on your door and say, hey, just a heads up, you're going to want to lock your doors tonight living next to me. I can't be trusted. I've got sticky fingers and no moral compass.
What do Pew Research statistics reveal about Americans' willingness to trust others?
Welcome to the cul-de-sac. Nobody says that. Nobody says it. Like you've never had someone get ready to share something vulnerable with you, lean in and say, hey, between you and me, and then you interrupt them and say, hey, hey, hold on. Let me stop you right there. Whatever you're about to tell me will most definitely not stay between you and me. I'll probably tell at least five people by Friday. I might bring it up at brunch. I might even post about it and change your name in the story. But honestly, everyone's going to know it's you anyways.
Why do most people only have three to five friends they truly lean on?
And that vulnerable thing you're about to share, I am going to file it away and weaponize it against you in about three months when I need to leverage it for that promotion I want because I want that promotion more than I want this friendship. So if I'm you, I wouldn't share a thing. Like nobody talks like that, like ever. Like what's so interesting to me is that We all assume we are the trustworthy one. We're the safe space. We're the vault. So let me get this math straight. Nobody trusts people, but everybody thinks they're trustworthy. Therefore, that math ain't mathing. My friends, I think we've got a broken trust economy. We're all withdrawing trust from others while simultaneously believing we deserve unlimited deposits.
We want people to be vulnerable with us, but we're guarded with them. We want loyalty, but we're keeping our options open. We want honesty, but it's like we're curating what we share with others. And I'm not pointing fingers. I'm looking in the mirror. Because the trust economy doesn't fix itself by waiting for other people to change.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
Why does Ryan say 'Trust me' feels so confident but often fails in practice?
0:00–2:58
2
What do Pew Research statistics reveal about Americans' willingness to trust others?
2:58–3:32
3
Why do most people only have three to five friends they truly lean on?
3:32–6:19
4
How do past betrayals cause people to build walls that block new relationships?
6:19–10:06