What If They’re Not Thinking About You At All?
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What is holding us back from taking action?
Welcome to the Ryan League podcast where we keep things short and sweet, where we offer nuggets of inspiration that can simply add value to your week, to the way that you live, the way that you lead, the way that you show up at work, the way that you show up at home. And today I wanna talk to you about something that I think holds us back more than anything else. And it is this idea of,
Why can't we just stop caring about what others think?
of caring so very much about what other people think about us. It's interesting. I perhaps should be making an entire episode about quit caring about what other people think about you. But I think that's somewhat impractical on a couple of levels. First, If it was that easy, you would have done it already, right? Just quit caring about what people think about you. And you would already be posting. You'd already be writing. You'd already be recording. You'd already be doing that thing. But I don't think it's that easy. And the reason I don't think it's that easy is because I think you and I are wired for a human connection. I think that you and I are wired to care a little bit. And so I do not want you to shut off emotionally from the world around you.
I don't even think that's healthy. But I do think that there are some practical things that we can talk about in regards to the mindset that we should have around what people do think about us. And it's kind of a funny thought if you think about it. Because we have thoughts about what other people's thoughts are about us in an imaginary situation. This is what I'm afraid they will think if I do X, if I start a podcast, if I... apply for this job, if I go back to school, if I write a book. But it's imaginary because you didn't do it yet. And so we're just thinking about what they could be thinking. And that alone keeps us from ever actually getting started.
Who are the people we fear judgment from?
So I've got a couple of practical things that I want to take you through that I think is going to add value to your life. The first thing is this. Who is they? Yeah, who is in the group of people that you fear what they think about you or what they would think about you if you got outside of your comfort zone? Who's that group of people? Is it your family members? Are we talking siblings? Is there a little sibling rivalry there that we need to address? Is it parents, grandparents? Is there a family legacy on the line that maybe has added a little bit of pressure? Is it your spouse? Is it your kids? I don't know. Is it in-laws that you're afraid of what they're going to think about you if you decide to make a move? Is it your friends? Is it your old friends? Is it an ex?
Is it people you went to college with? Is it people you were in elementary with, in middle school with, or early? afraid of what they are going to think about us? Is it colleagues? Is it a boss? Is it people on social media? Is it strangers on the internet? If you put yourself out there, you're going to open yourself up to public criticism. And who knows? Because people can get violent in the comments. Who knows what could happen to you if you dare hit post? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who is the group of people? One of the practical things you could do right now is write down the group of people or the person that you go, man, I'm actually afraid of or I care deeply about what this person or these people think about me.
And at some point, you have to ask yourself, do you really want to give them that much power over your life? Do you really want to give them that much power over your voice? Do you really want to give them that much power over your creativity? Do you really want to give them that much power over your future? Who's the they? Who are these people? And...
Why do we give power to others' opinions?
I don't think that those people are bad, evil, and that you shouldn't care about what they think about you. No, that's not the message. The message is, do you want to give them that much power? It's one thing to say, hey, I value your perspective and I get that you might think something about me if I were to put myself out there, quote unquote. But it's another thing to give them that much power.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is holding us back from taking action?
0:00–0:22
2
Why can't we just stop caring about what others think?
0:22–2:04
3
Who are the people we fear judgment from?
2:04–4:13
4
Why do we give power to others' opinions?
4:13–6:19
5
What if they are not thinking about you at all?
6:19
6
How does fear of judgment affect social media use?
5:04–13:36