Get my new book Make Money Easy here!On this episode of the School of Greatness, I sit down with the incredible Mel Robbins to discuss her groundbreaking new book, "The Let Them Theory." Mel reveals how she discovered this life-changing concept through a simple moment at her son's prom, and how it has transformed not only her relationships but her entire approach to life. She shares deep insights about the four key ways we unknowingly give our power to others and explains how two simple words - "let them" - can help us reclaim our time, energy, and happiness. Through personal stories and practical examples, Mel illuminates why trying to control others creates resistance and how we can influence positive change by modeling behavior instead of forcing it.Mel’s new book The Let Them TheoryIn this episode you will learn:Why the biggest obstacle in everyone's life is the power we unknowingly give to other peopleThe four main ways we turn other people into problems and how to stop doing itHow to use the "Let Them Theory" to create healthier boundaries and relationshipsWhy trying to control or change others creates resistance and what to do insteadThe ABC method for influencing positive change in others without pressureHow to balance letting people be themselves while maintaining healthy boundariesWhy being present and modeling behavior is more powerful than trying to fix othersFor more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1710For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Andrew Huberman – greatness.lnk.to/1455SCPeter Diamandis – greatness.lnk.to/1704SCMark Manson – greatness.lnk.to/1485SC Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX
Chapter 1: What are the two simple words that can change your life?
And so all day long, whether it was traffic backing up or I send a text to somebody and they send like something sort of passive, let them. And I started to feel this instant lever of peace. And I started to feel this sense of protection from all this stupid stuff that I was allowing to drain my energy and to waste my time.
And if you stop and think about it, your single most valuable resources are time and energy. Because where you spend your time and what you pour your energy into determines the quality of your life. And what I started to notice very, very, very quickly, like within 24 hours, is that the reason why I didn't have a lot of time is because I was spending it getting worked up about stupid things.
The reason why my energy was so drained is because I was allowing other people's behavior or things that were happening around me to actually drain my energy. And saying let them became this lever I could pull any moment where I felt my time and attention getting sucked towards something that truly wasn't worth my time and energy or didn't matter, or more importantly, beyond my control.
Because the dog's already thrown up. So I can't control what just happened. And as you talk about all the time, and as lots of people talk about, it's not about what's happening, it's about how you respond to it. And the problem that I've always had with stoicism or letting it go, or principles that are about being more peaceful and boundaries is that I never knew how to apply it.
Like, let's take the concept of let it go. I don't wanna let it go. Because it feels- Why don't you? Well, I'll tell you why, it feels like I'm losing. You know, when somebody says to you, Louis, you just gotta let it go, they're basically saying you lose, so stop worrying about it. That person won, you gotta let it go.
And what if there's an example of like, okay, someone in your company steals 100 grand from you or takes something from you or does something that you're like, do I just let it go?
Well, it's a great question.
Do I just let them take whatever they want? Do I just let them crap all over me all day long?
Because that actually happened to me. So I had two things happen in my company. One, where we had a contractor that literally stole our database and lied about a campaign that we thought we were paying for that was going on and it never actually happened and they presented fake data. Now, I have to let them because it happened and I didn't know until I discovered it too late.
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Chapter 2: How does the 'Let Them Theory' work?
Wow.
Well, we all are. We all are.
So what does that look like then? Is it like not accepting your kids to be themselves or they want to do something and you say, no, you can't do that or here's what you need to do.
How does that look?
Because you've got to discipline kids too.
Of course.
You can't just be, let them. Let them do whatever they want. Let them eat whatever they want.
They can stay up all night. No, no. Because this is a book about adult relationships. And we make a huge distinction because when you're an adult, You are, and you have a child, or you're a caregiver or coach. You can't let them. No. You are a, well, there are certain things you need to let them do.
Yes.
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