Chapter 1: What moment led Jen Sincero to identify her biggest money block?
And I wanted to start with asking you a question about money and talking about money for a moment because I feel like a lot of people are in fear around money right now. They're scared. They're uncertain of what's going to happen with all these things in the world around money and inflation and crisis and all these different things.
I'm curious, with all of your research and all of your feedback from your audience with your book about money, What do you feel like is the number one thing that holds people back emotionally and mentally around believing that they are deserving of making the money they want? About the deserving piece.
Oh, wow. Well, first of all, I think that a lot of people think it's not OK. Like there's a real morality around making money.
Really?
Because think about it. We really focus on greed. And when you desire money, it's not the same as being greedy. But I think that we combine those two things. And so, of course, if you decide that you want to make money, you don't tell people.
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Chapter 2: How can changing your internal money dialogue transform your reality?
I remember when I was on my path to get rich, people were grossed out. Really? I mean, I always compare it to if I was like, I'm going to lose 100 pounds. People were like, go you. But you're like, I'm going to get rich. They're like, you're disgusting. Wow. So there is a real judgment around it.
Why is that? If someone's ambitious around making money and creating financial abundance for themselves, why is that?
I think because there is an implied morality piece where you're going to do things that are really bad for everybody involved. Like you're going to... Money is the main goal, so you'll do anything to get rich. I think there is this really weird... perception of that. And I do think that the news definitely focuses on all the evil that people do to make money.
And so that you rarely hear about people giving lots of money your way or doing wonderful things with money.
Chapter 3: What uncomfortable truth does Jen reveal about transformation and relationships?
It really is about how evil the rich are.
Yeah, it's more rare. People are giving, but you don't hear about it that much. Yeah, not so much. And it's also, here's the interesting thing, because we've also been taught to diminish our giving, like to not talk about our giving. Right. To make it anonymous. Don't brag that you're giving. Where I actually have started to prescribe to,
Maybe talk 50% of the time about what you're giving and the other 50% of the time, it doesn't have to be, you know, you telling the world about it. But I think when you say, here's what I'm giving, it inspires other people to be generous in giving as well. Absolutely. And it doesn't have to be only money, but it can be your time, your energy, your resources in other way.
Chapter 4: What daily practice can help you step outside your comfort zone?
But I think sharing about it sometimes empowers other people to be more generous as well.
I agree. And it also takes away the stigma that you're an egomaniacal fathead and that you want all the praise for being such a good guy. And why not? We talk about other good things we do. It's just money. I've written about sex. I've studied religion. Money is by far the most loaded.
The most loaded.
Absolutely.
Chapter 5: Why is hiring a coach considered a crucial investment?
It's the dirtiest topic. Really? I don't know why. And I don't, I really don't. It's interesting though, like, did your parents talk to you about money? You know, I grew up- A little bit. Yeah.
A little bit, but there was stress around money. Right. Which caused it to feel more unsettling. So there was some conversation, but most of the conversation was stressful. Or their relationship wasn't peaceful. Right. So I was like, okay, well, if they're not peaceful, but they're working really hard and money is tied to working hard, then something must be off. Exactly.
And it wasn't a money issue, it was just an emotional healing issue. Right. And that just happened to be mixed in with money.
Yes. And so in your little brain, you put it attached to money to make stress. Yeah.
Exactly. What was your perception of money before you started to make it versus when you started to make it?
Well, I grew up in a super waspy household.
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Chapter 6: How do early memories shape our beliefs about money?
So, you know, we don't discuss money like it's, you know, dirty and uncouth. Never learned anything about it at all. No education around it? Oh, no. Oh, my God, no. Like, nothing. And so I was very of the mind that it wasn't cool to want to make money, the unholy dollar. I was a rock and roller, so I was more about the art.
And you're not going to sell yourself out.
Exactly. Selling out. What a concept. Selling out basically means you're getting paid for doing what you love. Why is that so bad? And then the whole starving artist crap and all that stuff. Yeah. And that rich people sucked and I was too cool to focus on money. I also believed I sucked at making it, which was the truth.
I also had a weird feeling that like I was it was almost like a different species. It's almost like me.
Chapter 7: What strategies can help overcome fears of losing relationships during personal growth?
There's me and then there's grownups. Right. And I felt that way about money, too. Like there is me and there's people who actually make like real money and have big houses and fancy cars and like do stuff like that. I was I was like the child version of that, you know, always sitting at the kid table financially.
And so it was a total identity shift that I had to go through where it was like that I could open myself up to like being somebody who could receive that kind of wealth. It was a real big shift for me.
Do you think we have to go through an identity shift in order to see money differently and to be able to receive it differently?
I think you do. Absolutely. That's a really great way to go at it. Yeah.
So what was your, you know, the key words around your identity with money when you didn't have much versus the key words that you would speak about within yourself or what money is once you started to unlock more money?
Well, it wasn't necessarily around identity, my words, because I did have two very serious mantras. But there was a lot of visualizing myself with money. And I wrote about buying the Audi and you are a badass. And I'm not the kind of person who drives an Audi. Are you kidding me? And almost feeling like the guy who test drove it with me would be like, get out of here. I know who you are.
You can't afford this. Exactly. So, but my mantra is really like, and before I started making money, I said, I can't afford it to pretty much anything you could throw at me. My first words out of my mouth were, I can't afford it.
What are we doing when we're saying that? Whether it's true or not true.
We are buying into an identity as somebody who can't afford stuff. We are also proving it. You know, what you speak, you want to prove because you want to be right and it is sort of the foundation of your reality. So when I say I can't afford it a hundred times a day, I'm subconsciously pulling in proof.
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Chapter 8: What are the three key elements of an abundant mindset around money?
Like, look at the car I'm driving. I'm living in an alley. Like, I make this much money a year. I'm building all the foundational blocks to prove that I can't afford it. And that becomes my reality. And then that becomes my, I like to call it familiarity zone because comfort zones are not comfortable.
Interesting.
Right? So then I'm just proving it over and over and over and that becomes my reality. And then to shift out of that literally means to obliterate your reality and your identity, right? Right.
It's like an explosion. It's like you have to have a death, an explosion, a bomb almost to go off.
It does. And it's killing off your old identity. And this is why I'm going to totally go off on a segue here, but this is why the number one question I get at my talks is, what do you do when the people closest to you don't support your growth? And the main reason they don't support it because you're killing off the person they love.
Oh, man.
I mean, think about that. Like you're changing who you are and they're comfortable with who you are and they feel that's their reality too is caught up in who you are being. So when you decide to change, you're killing off their buddy or their whatever and you're screwing up their reality because you fit into theirs. Wow. So it's really a thing.
It's so interesting. I was telling someone on my team this a few weeks ago, that in the different seasons of my life, from 18 until now, I have had all these amazing experiences from school to sports teams, to moving to new cities, to finding new groups and communities. And a lot of them I've outgrown in certain ways or just transitioned out of.
Maybe not outgrown, but just I've gone to do other things and continue to try to evolve. I'm not saying I'm better than, but I've continued to try to evolve and let go of the old me And some of them don't like it. And I lose friends in the process of changing myself, reinventing myself, letting go of old behaviors and stepping into a different identity.
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