Chapter 1: What crisis are young men facing today?
Men are struggling. Four times as likely to kill themselves, three times as likely to be addicted or homeless, 12 times as likely to be incarcerated. You go into a morgue and there's five people that died by suicide and four men. If it was any other group, I think we'd weigh in with programs and empathy. I think more and more of them are going to be alone in a room with a screen.
Scott's the host of the Prof G Pod and co-host of the Pivot and Raging Moderates podcast. He's a best-selling author in his latest book.
Notes on Being a Man is now the number one bestseller at Amazon. Please welcome Scott Gallagher. My biggest fans are young men. My biggest supporters are mothers, because they see what's going on. The greatest alliance in history is the alliance between men and women.
Why would you go through the effort, the expense, the potential rejection, humiliation, effort, when you have synthetic, lifelike porn at home? How do they survive if you're not doing anything except for consuming all day? Just having men in your life that can give you a little bit of advice and not only that, just give you the sense you have value.
Chapter 2: How has the role of men in society changed?
I've been investing in stocks since I was 13 because of Cy Serra. Wow. I've made tens of millions of dollars investing in stocks. It taught me this incredible life skill around investing.
What would you say are three things you would leave behind if this was the last day on earth for you many years away? The biggest unlock of my life was the following. Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring Scott Galloway in the house, who is the number one New York Times bestseller of notes on being a man.
Welcome to the show, Scott. Thanks, Will. It's good to see you, man. Excited that you're here. Congrats on the book. Thanks.
Chapter 3: What are the benefits of relationships for men?
We were talking beforehand about that I wrote a book called The Mask of Masculinity seven years ago that I think was ahead of its time. But I think people really need to hear what you're talking about today because there's so much confusion with men in society. And so I'm gonna give you a layup question to start. What is the role of men in society today?
Well, I think that's the issue. I think that the role was pretty clear. It was sort of a provider and procreator. And now that a lot of the on-ramps into a middle-class lifestyle, a lot of the traditional jobs, we've basically torn up the script for women and said, you can be anything. And women are ascending and that's fantastic.
Twice as many women have been elected to some sort form of parliament globally in the last 30 years. More women are now seeking tertiary education globally than men. Women in urban areas in the US are making more money than men own, more single women own. And these are all amazing. We should do nothing to get in the way of that.
Chapter 4: How do men's economic roles impact their relationships?
But I think sometimes the role of men is a little bit confused now. Like what is my role? And men, you know, there's just no getting around it. Men are struggling, four times as likely to kill themselves, three times as likely to be addicted or homeless, 12 times as likely to be incarcerated. So I think the question, what is a man's role in this society is a little bit up in the air right now.
And I think that's part of the issue is a lot of men don't feel like they have a code. They're not clear. Yeah, I think some of them lack purpose and that is a lot of the natural attributes they would lean into, whether it's vocational work, whether it's being the provider, whether it's initiating romantic interest,
I don't want to say being the aggressor, but the initiator, a lot of those things are either not available, harder to attain, or being frowned upon. So what is their role? And I mean, what happened to auto, metal, and woodshop? Gone, right?
If you think about what people are looking for in terms of more women in medical school, more women in law school, and those are wonderful things, but typically the job... Remember that guy in high school who was never going to go to college, or a lot of them, but could fix your car? Sure, yeah.
Chapter 5: What challenges are young men facing in the digital age?
And would go on and actually make a pretty decent living? Yeah. We have, we've essentially replaced all those classes with computer science. We've kind of gone all in on the guy who goes to Harvard, drops out, and starts a tech company. Kind of the nation's been optimized for that person. And the majority of men aren't that dude.
In addition, fewer men are going to religious institutions, playing sports, connecting to work, remote work, I think it's been terrible, connecting to relationships. And then they're up against the deepest pocketed companies with godlike technology, really trying to sequester them from the offline world and relationships.
And as a result, I think you have a cohort of young men who feel a little bit untethered. Their path is not as clear as it once was. don't have the same level of opportunities that my generation had. And some of it, to be clear, was unearned advantage. I had too much opportunity relative to other groups.
But if any other group was, if you're going to a morgue and there's five people that died by suicide and four men, if it was any other group, I think we'd weigh in with programs and empathy.
Chapter 6: How can mentorship help young men navigate their struggles?
But because of the under advantage of my generation, there's a lack of empathy and the stat that I remind people of, I understand the gag reflex when I talk about this, and that is from 1945 to 2000, a third of the world's economic growth was registered by the 5% of the population in America. So we had six times the prosperity of the rest of the world. So 6X.
And then you take all that prosperity and you cram it into the one third of the population that was white, male, and heterosexual, I was kind of born on third base. My rap till I was about your age was, check me out.
I didn't have some of the same advantages as my peers, but what I've acknowledged now is that I really was born on third base, my kind of identity, demographics, and when and where I was born. But unfortunately, I think society is holding young men accountable for my unfair advantage and they just don't face the same opportunities.
They don't have the skills also, right? It's like they don't have the skills to face that unfair advantage, I guess, or to manage it all.
100%. So, you know, I had to go into work I had to put on a tie. I had guardrails set up for me.
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Chapter 7: What qualities do women seek in male partners?
And I think remote work has been an absolute disaster for young people, especially men who, quite frankly, mature later. My first job was in downtown LA at Morgan Stanley. If I didn't have to get up at 7 a.m., put on a tie, act a certain way, learn to behave, I was constantly pulled out of meetings by my boss, who was a real mentor, and he would say just like, don't say that . And I needed that.
And I learned how to interact with people senior to me, more successful than me, learned how to interact with a boss, learned more about how to interact with a woman in a professional environment. It was great seasoning for me. And while I think remote work is an unlock for people who are caregivers,
I think it's really a negative for young people and something we don't talk about, one in three relationships begin at work. So where do people meet and develop friendships, mentorships, and romantic relationships? And the reality is men need, young men need romantic relationships or benefit more from them than women.
If a man hasn't been married or cohabitated with a woman by the time he's 30, there's a one in three chance he's gonna be a substance abuser. There's this cartoon of a woman in her 30s who never found romantic love. The reality is she's okay. Women, when they don't have that romantic relationship, oftentimes pour that energy back into friends and their professional life.
Chapter 8: How can men level up to improve their lives and relationships?
Men tend to pour it back into more negative things or less productive things. Online, gaming, porn, oftentimes, unfortunately, conspiracy theory. So quite frankly- Maybe gambling or something else. Gambling.
Drugs, whatever it might be.
That it takes on and manifests itself in worse ways. So a woman in a relationship lives two to four years longer than a man, I'm sorry, than a woman not in a relationship. But a man- lives four to seven years longer. Widows are happier after their husband dies. Widowers are less happy after their wife dies.
So oddly enough, men benefit and accrete more advantage in a relationship than a woman does, which isn't to say, nobody owes, It's no one's responsibility to service men or provide them with romantic comfort such that they don't become poor citizens.
But the reality is I do think society and men of my generation have a debt to pay, and that is to try and get emotionally, logistically, and economically involved in young people's lives and level them up such that they have some of the same opportunities that my generation had.
Yeah, it's interesting because I saw this article on Vogue. The headline says, is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?
Yeah.
And hearing these stats, if I'm a woman hearing these stats that essentially I live longer without a man in my life, who knows the context of all these things, but I also I'm fine without a man in some ways. Yeah. Why should women get in a relationship with a man if there's also benefit for women being single?
Yeah.
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