You’re in a meeting. Your manager says, “I never said we’d launch in Q2.” You remember the conversation clearly, you have notes but they continue: “I think you’re misremembering. We always planned for Q3.” Then they add, “You seem stressed lately. Are you sure you’re tracking everything correctly?”Something feels wrong but you can’t pinpoint what. The words sound reasonable. The tone is concerned, even caring. Your reality and theirs don’t match but theirs is delivered with such certainty that you start doubting your own memory.This is gaslighting. Not just someone disagreeing with you or remembering events differently, that’s normal conversation. Gaslighting is a systematic pattern of communication that makes you doubt your own perception, memory and sanity. It’s psychological manipulation through language, where someone distorts reality and then makes you feel responsible for the confusion.What Gaslighting Actually IsThe Core Behavioural PatternsThe Linguistic Structures Behind the BehavioursWhy There’s No Simple ChecklistThree Types of Assertives in GaslightingThe Double Direction of FitFace-Threatening Acts Disguised as CareAnti-Performatives: Saying One Thing, Doing AnotherWhy Some People Can Recognise It FasterThe Hierarchical AdvantageWhat Linguistic Analysis RevealsWhat This Means for RecognitionDISCLAIMER: I’ve purposely not spoken about the psychological aspects of gaslighting because it is not my place to. I am unfortunately very familiar with it but I would be irresponsible if I didn’t share the right sources for more information.If you’d like to learn more from the experts, I’d recommend reading works by:* Suzy’s Substack* Ryan Hwa* Unmasking Narcissism with Sarah Khan* Nathalie Martinek PhD* Annie Tanasugarn, PhD This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thestrategiclinguist.substack.com/subscribe

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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