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The Tim Dillon Show

490 - Bye Bye Bondi & Hello Mommy

04 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 34.561 Tim Dillon

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. We are here and we are going to discuss the news of the day. And we are going to treat it with respect because a lot of people forget these are real people that we talk about all the time here. And these people deserve respect. And that's what we do. We give them respect. I don't know anything about the Noam household.

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34.681 - 59.785 Tim Dillon

I don't know Kristi Noem. I know she shot her dog in the face. And then she kind of made a mess of the Homeland Security thing. Now she's got a husband named Byron, and he likes cross-dressing. And he likes having the big tits, the milkers. So now he's been dressing up and paying adult entertainers to talk dirty, I guess in like a chat room or something.

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61.969 - 79.908 Tim Dillon

Noam's husband paid $25 a minute for dirty talk as she reveals his unusual kink. Noam's cross-dressing husband, Byron Noam, paid online models up to $25 a minute to talk dirty to him, and he was a needy client with an unusual kink for yoga pants, according to one of the women.

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81.37 - 105.053 Tim Dillon

Noam, the longtime husband of former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noam, was exposed for living a cross-dressing double life in the bimbofication fetish scene after the Daily Mail published salacious photos of Noam with massive... Fake breasts. Lydia Love, a webcam model on the website CamSoda, definitely remembers Noam's face but said, there's no way I could ever forget those fake boobs.

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106.034 - 131.224 Tim Dillon

She told the Times of London of the 56-year-old father of three who was one of her clients. Well, what is this? Iran hacked all of these people and they got Kash Patel dancing and they got... They got this guy out with his tits. The cam girl said, no, I'm like to play the submissive role in the chats where he paid up to, yeah, we paid 25 a minute. He would try to talk more feminine.

131.264 - 152.578 Tim Dillon

His kink was yoga pants. Love who's called a femdom in online communities told the times he wanted to be the star of the show and really show off. I would hype him up. Some people are just looking for that. He wants a little attention. His wife is running Homeland Security, poorly, but she's running it.

153.179 - 173.661 Tim Dillon

And he, to get attention, he's got to strap on a pair of fake tits and go into a chat room and be the star of the show. And he's got to pay 25 a minute for someone to hype him up. That should be the wife's job. Kristi Noem should be hyping him up.

Chapter 2: What scandal involving Kristi Noem's husband is discussed?

174.097 - 197.824 Tim Dillon

But instead, he's got to pay. He could be frustrating during the chat sessions, which typically lasted about 10 minutes, she said, because he was not very good at being submissive. He's got to learn. The problem was he was constantly trying to direct the cam girls to tell him what to do. If you want to be dominated by a woman, let me dominate you, she said.

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197.864 - 221.246 Tim Dillon

Why are you telling me to tell you to do all this? But what stands out the most is the comically large balloon breasts that were plastered all over the news this week. And what did Noam say about this? What was her response? So what? My husband likes to strap on, what do they call this, a G cup? I think those are H. This is H?

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222.027 - 222.447 Unknown

I think so.

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222.567 - 234.603 Tim Dillon

I thought we got G on Amazon. Didn't we pay for G? It might have been. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H. Oh, H is bigger than G. Yes. H is bigger than G. Oh, good. I don't know the alphabet.

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Chapter 3: What are the details of Byron Noem's cross-dressing and online activities?

235.385 - 241.38 Tim Dillon

So I thought H. But so we got these down. How much did these on Amazon run us?

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242.609 - 244.793 Unknown

I think they were like 200 bucks.

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244.813 - 267.855 Tim Dillon

I'm just imagining being in a suburban home and then strapping these on. I'm imagining this. My wife is at Homeland Security and she's on the news all day, right? So that's annoying. The bitch is out of the house and then you turn on the TV and there she is again in some weird, you know, ice glam outfit, you know. you know, throwing, you know, people in a truck.

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268.556 - 294.807 Tim Dillon

And then I'm like sitting in my suburban house and I'm like, let me, and the kids are out doing whatever they're doing. And I'm like, let me strap on these big, what, H cups? Yeah. Let me strap on these big H cups and then log on and then get domed by Lydia Love. But I don't even know how to do it because I'm telling Lydia Love what to tell me to do.

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297.571 - 321.394 Tim Dillon

And what did Kristi Noem have to say about this? Because I'm wondering if she knew this. You know, maybe she didn't. I imagine she felt it's hard to hide these tits, right? What do you do? Put them in a box under all the Christmas decorations? What do you do with a pair of H tits? You got to put them somewhere. Kristi Noem weighs in on report husband lives cross-dressing double life.

321.454 - 346.225 Tim Dillon

The family was blindsided by this. Ms. Noem is devastated. The family was blindsided by this and they asked for privacy and prayers at this time. What am I supposed to pray for this guy and his tits? So wait a minute. All the horror that's happening in the world, people are literally being vaporized by machines of death flying, you know, in the air.

347.183 - 375.379 Tim Dillon

We're bombing schoolgirls while they sit in class, and I'm supposed to pray for Kristi Noem's husband and his H-cup tits? That's where the direction my prayers are supposed to go in? When the people in Gaza are wandering around trying to find grain so they can bake a loaf of bread, I'm supposed to pray for Kristi Noem's husband and his big tits? Well, no!

375.86 - 404.191 Tim Dillon

I will not pray for your husband and his big tits! How about that? You can pray for his big tits! Do you think she threw the tits out? Was she like, give me those tits. Give me those tits. You don't want to fuck me anymore. You just want to talk to women online with your tits on. I'm out here causing havoc in the streets. And I come home and you got a big, you got big tits.

404.211 - 417.538 Tim Dillon

You know she knew about this and you knew they fought about it. Byron, I found your tits. I found your big fat tits. You want me to have big tits like that? Well, I don't have those big tits.

Chapter 4: What are the implications of the Iran War as discussed in the episode?

520.722 - 542.674 Tim Dillon

I mean, that guy's tits are out of control. These are out of control tits. And he's just sitting there and he's going online and And she goes, we were blindsided by the family was blindsided by this. And she's got to tell the kids. I don't know how old the kids are. It's not a nice thing to find out.

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545.338 - 572.764 Tim Dillon

Listen, a lot of people are going to talk about the fact that your mother shot a dog and also was the Department of Homeland Security during a very tumultuous time in our country's history. But also people are going to bring up the fact that your father loves to put on big bimbo tits and talk to random women online. But listen, we love you. We love you, and we're here for you.

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572.804 - 604.815 Tim Dillon

No matter what happens, we're here for you. And Noma's banging was banging Corey Lewandowski. So she's cheating on her husband, and he's got these big tits on. Well, that's nice. You know, folks, I just... I don't know what to tell you this is our country and you should be proud of it. You have to be proud of your country no matter what state or condition it's in. Do you understand that?

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604.995 - 634.655 Tim Dillon

You have to be proud of your country no matter what it looks like, no matter if your Homeland Security director is cheating on her husband, and in response to that, he's on bimbo fetish websites with a massive pair of tits on just trying to get domed out. You have to be proud of your country. It doesn't matter what it looks like. You can't expect perfection from people. You really can't.

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636.297 - 662.454 Tim Dillon

His fetish was 3,000cc plus boobs, according to one of the models who communicated extensively with him. What a great word, extensively. There's a reference to custom-made XXL implants that can hold more than 3,000 cubic centimeters of saline per breast, far greater than surgeons typically recommend. So I don't think I have those. I think we just went on Amazon and got whatever we could get.

662.494 - 682.83 Tim Dillon

His kink is for huge, ridiculous boobs. He wants ridiculous, massive boobs. Tits. And he wants to wear them and feel what it's like to be an objectified bimbo. He's sick of being the man and wearing the pants all the time. He wants to be a bimbo, an objectified bimbo with big, silly tits.

684.7 - 704.127 Tim Dillon

In text and audio calls, the pair shared everything from mundane daily chit-chat to spicy banter about her augmented chest. How are your boobs, he asked her. Would you ever go bigger? The model sent him an array of topless selfies and lingerie shots. Jason apparently felt relaxed enough to reciprocate with photos of himself wearing skimpy outfits and lopsided DIY breasts.

704.377 - 717.176 Tim Dillon

You turned me into a girl, he said. Should I put on leggings? A PayPal account belonging to Jason Jackson sent the woman regular deposits between 500 and 1,000. She says he openly admitted to having a wife and family. He'd say, I love my wife.

Chapter 5: What led to Pam Bondi's firing from her position?

717.256 - 737.509 Tim Dillon

I want to get better. Then he'd disappear, come back, and start again. Over time, models began to figure out the real identity of their shadowy benefactor. I was completely shocked. I said, why are you doing this? I didn't think hot guys did this. He said he didn't care. I said, you should care. Your wife could lose everything she's worked for.

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738.03 - 758.116 Tim Dillon

I love that like some woman in a fetish website is telling him this. The second woman had read about Christie's alleged affair with Lewandowski and longtime GOP operative who married 9-11 widow Alison Hardy in 2005 and has four children. I asked him about it and his response was, I know there's nothing I can do about it. You have to be proud of your country.

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759.278 - 787.996 Tim Dillon

No matter what's going on, you have to be proud of your country. You have to release yourself from being hypercritical. You have to just accept that these are the people that are running the show and they're not happy. They're unhappy people. And I have no problem with fetishes. I have no problem with any of this. I don't care. I'd love not, I don't love this fetish just because it's very heavy.

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788.076 - 805.199 Tim Dillon

These tits are heavy. I'd love the not bombing of the children in the school. That, to me, is the no-no here. And I don't want to get involved in Kristi Noem's marriage or lack thereof. It's not my... I don't love the shooting of the protesters in the face. But it's not my business to get involved with this woman's marriage and her husband Byron and his tits.

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805.359 - 828.331 Tim Dillon

I am a little jealous they're bigger than mine. Fucking Amazon. But here's the deal. You have to just, you know, take it as it comes. And, you know, this is an embarrassment for their family. but own it, own it. She's trying to shrink from the limelight and saying, well, just thoughts and prayers. And you know, it's blindsided our family.

829.733 - 846.109 Tim Dillon

She should have said, my husband likes tits, big tits, bigger tits than you can even imagine. Tits so big, they're cartoonish and silly. He wants to be fetishized. He wants to be made into a bimbo. He goes online with his big tits and I'm cheating on him. That's our family and stay the fuck out of it.

Chapter 6: How does Kristi Noem respond to the revelations about her husband?

846.93 - 861.542 Tim Dillon

Stay the fuck out of it. We're the family values people. I mean, these tits are... Trump removed her from the cabinet two months later amid bipartisan criticism of her clumsy efforts to label the victims Renee Good and Alex Pretty domestic terrorists.

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862.825 - 884.68 Tim Dillon

And... Insiders also say the president was furious after Noem told Congress he had approved $220 million, 165 million euro advertising campaign for her riding a horse at Mount Rushmore. Mark Wayne Mullen, a conservative senator from Oklahoma, has since replaced her at the DHS while Noem has become a special envoy for the Shield of the Americas.

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886.343 - 909.273 Tim Dillon

The Shield of the Americas, an initiative created by Trump to strengthen international security in both North and South America. The newly created role, widely seen as a soft landing, involves being a liaison with Latin American governments to fight drug cartels. Well, listen, I mean, I wish them well. I enjoy them. I enjoy them. I'm defending them.

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910.355 - 927.72 Tim Dillon

I'm defending them because someone needs to defend them. They are getting totally destroyed online. They really are. This guy's totally getting destroyed online. And I just want to...

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929.337 - 954.912 Tim Dillon

Here at the Tim Dillon Show, we want to support Byron Noem, his fetish journey, his objectification journey, his journey of cartoonishly large breasts, his yoga pants fetish where he likes his tight yoga pants and his big tits. He just likes his tight yoga pants and his big tits. We need to move past this and be proud of it as a country.

954.952 - 975.603 Tim Dillon

This is something we must look to, and we must look to it with pride. It's a modern marriage. It's a modern marriage. She's with someone else. He's having fun online with his big tits. These are so fucking heavy. I was going to do the whole episode with them, and I can't. I'm going to have to take them off in a minute.

976.785 - 996.216 Tim Dillon

But I can imagine just being Kristi Noem's husband and sitting in a house, sitting in a little room. While she's out there, you know, calling people that got shot in the face terrorists. And I'm just sitting there with a cam girl and I'm like, how big are your tits? Would you ever consider them being bigger? Did you ever think of your tits being so big you couldn't walk?

996.236 - 1020.685 Tim Dillon

You had to get moved around in a wheelchair? Because that's what I'm into. A woman with tits so big she's on a TLC show. They're so big, she can't get out of the chair without help. Do you think we could get there? Could we start here and get to a point where your tits completely immobilize you? And it looks like my 600-pound life, but with just tits.

1021.508 - 1043.179 Tim Dillon

And you lay on your bed and your tits are so big, one of them suffocates you in the middle of the night and kills you. That's the kind of tits I'm into. Big tits. And yoga pants. Yoga pants and big tits. Now, if he was a man, he would walk around like this in public. No, truly. If you're a man, if you're a man, you walk around like this in public in yoga pants with these tits.

Chapter 7: What criticisms are made about the current U.S. military strategy?

1064.948 - 1087.782 Tim Dillon

She needs to show up for him and say, my husband did not hurt anybody by wearing yoga pants with balloon tits. And in fact, he was financially helping the cam girls, uh, What about the cam girl economy that my husband was helping with his yoga pants and balloon tits? He shows up for me, I show up for him. What about Lydia Love? What's her name, Lydia Love? Yeah. What about Lydia Love?

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1090.126 - 1112.453 Tim Dillon

He shows up for me, I show up for him. This is what I would do. If I were Kristi Noem, I would call a press conference tomorrow and I'd put on the tits. I'd have the yoga pants and the tits and he'd come out and he'd have the yoga pants and the tits. And she would say, this is my husband and I love him. Just the way he is. This is my husband, Byron, and I love him. Just the way he is.

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1112.473 - 1133.096 Tim Dillon

You know why? Because he showed up for me and now I'm showing up for him. He sat there while Congress scrutinized me because those two people got shot in the face. but I'm here to tell you that I love him. I love his big, silly tits. And he would start to smile because he wants to be a fetish bimbo. So he's going to be all silly.

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1134.418 - 1158.164 Tim Dillon

She'd say, she'd go over to him and she'd just, you know, start bumping her fake tits with his tits and go, I love his big, silly tits. And that's what we call him around the house. We call him big, silly tits. you love those big silly tits, don't you, daddy? And then he looks at her and he goes, I do, I like these big silly tits. And she goes, you like these tits? You like mommy's tits?

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1159.045 - 1186.071 Tim Dillon

And then they both just start kind of going like this and the tits are flying and they're both in yoga pants. And that's a beautiful statement to people out there like me who come from divorced homes. Because I hate to see when a home is broken. Do you understand that? I don't want to see when a home is broken, a broken home. I want to see people stay together.

1186.111 - 1211.508 Tim Dillon

Trump shocked to hear about cross-dressing a husband of Kristi Noem. He goes, that's too bad. They confirmed it? Wow. Well, I feel bad for the family if that's the case. That's too bad. I haven't seen anything. I don't know anything about it. That's too bad. But I just know nothing about it. So what? So what?

1212.889 - 1237.343 Tim Dillon

They should have held a press conference and they should have told the country to mind their own fucking business. Leave my husband's tits alone. Mind your fucking business. My husband's tits are my family's problem. I'll deal with my husband's tits. I'll deal with my husband's tits in good time. I know my husband had a thing with tits. He likes wearing big tits around the house.

1238.47 - 1266.336 Tim Dillon

No marriage is perfect, by the way, and no marriage, you make sacrifices in any marriage. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. You think it's all going to be perfect? You think it's all going to be your wedding night or your engagement photos on Instagram? No. Here's what it becomes. You're the head of Homeland Security. A woman just got shot in the face. You call her a terrorist.

1267.097 - 1295.603 Tim Dillon

And your husband's got size H tits. And he's on with cam girls getting domed. That's what marriage is. That's what it is, kids. Listen up. What do you think it is? Well, I was, I had someone at the beach and they were in the tall grass and nobody knew. And I got proposed to, and he had his friend there. Like I didn't even know. And his friend was taking photos.

Chapter 8: How does the episode address the concept of government incompetence?

1371.513 - 1396.238 Tim Dillon

But when your head, I don't know why I can't say it, when your head hits the pillow, that's your husband, okay? And that's your wife. And you're going to wake up and you're going to go downstairs with the kids and you're going to scramble the eggs. And you're going to fry the bacon and you're going to toast the toast. And that's your life.

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1397.129 - 1413.612 Tim Dillon

Your life isn't those other things, the murder you defend or this fake cartel thing they've got you involved in now. Some weird consolation prize. Anyway, that's your life. I don't usually give love advice on the show. I really don't. I usually don't because I let people do their own thing.

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1415.014 - 1432.93 Tim Dillon

But here I have to step in and I have to say, I don't want to, don't even think about a divorce here because it's not worth it. There's real love here. I don't know anything about the gnomes. But I know it's a marriage built on love and I know that you're an example to young people around this country who think it's all going to be nice.

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1434.551 - 1453.528 Tim Dillon

You think it's all going to be your best friends eating spicy tuna crispy rice talking about your honeymoon? The fuck it is, sister. Your husband has fake tits on and he's jerking his cock to a cam girl. And you're shooting your dog in the face. And now you're the leader of the Department of Homeland Security. What the fuck happened? Who knows?

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1454.572 - 1473.519 Tim Dillon

You're making plastic surgery appointments in between state-sanctioned murders. That's what life is for real. That's what it is for real. It's not eating spicy tuna crispy rice with your girlfriend going, oh my God, it was amazing. The hotel was amazing. It was amazing. It was so beautiful. So nice.

1473.579 - 1491.465 Tim Dillon

We had dinner on the beach and we were worried because it was windy during the day, but then the wind calmed down and then they bring out Like there was like a literal band and they played music on the beach and they, they were like, get up and dance. And you know, like Jeff, Jeff's like, he's like shy. Like people don't know that about Jeff. Cause he seems really outgoing, but he's really shy.

1491.485 - 1505.706 Tim Dillon

And they like, they got him up and we did like a dance on the beach. And there was like other couples there and everybody was kind of dancing and we got a little drunk and like, it was super. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, wake up from your dream, Cinderella. Wake the fuck up from your dream.

1505.686 - 1525.984 Tim Dillon

Because the chariot's about to turn into not one pumpkin, but two big pumpkin tits on your husband's fucking chest. Because that's what real life is, you murderer. Well, as always, we wish Kristi Noem, well, friend of the show, Kristi Noem, Byron Noem, the whole Noem family, we wish them well. And that's why we don't come on here and make light of this.

1527.065 - 1554.904 Tim Dillon

I don't make light of, I don't make light of it. I'm a serious person and I understand that. You don't make light of this. You don't make light of what's going on in our government. It's our government. All right. I got to put these tits away. Bye. Ethos makes getting life insurance fast and easy. 100% online. You can get a quote in seconds, apply in minutes, and get same-day coverage.

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