The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship warning signs & how to be likable w/ body language expert (Vanessa Van Edwards)
12 Mar 2025
Can a single behaviour predict divorce with 93.6% accuracy? According to body language expert Vanessa Van Edwards, yes. In this episode, we unpack the silent cues that can make or break your marriage, the three fights every couple has, and why resentment is the real relationship killer. Plus, Vanessa shares how Botox might actually change your emotions, her journey from awkwardness to confidence, and the surprising science behind listening. This episode is sponsored by Chime, Hungryroot & Hiya. Chime: Make progress towards a better financial future with Chime. Get started today https://chime.com/UNPLANNED. Hungryroot: Visit https://hungryroot.com/unplanned and use code UNPLANNED to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice. Hiya: Go to https://hiyahealth.com/UNPLANNED and receive 50% off your first order. Get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Full Episode
All couples have the same three fights. They might dress up as other things, but down low, they're the same three fights. What are your three arguments?
That's too personal. Are you crazy?
Vanessa Van Edwards is a body language expert and recovering awkward person. Her book, Cues, appeared on the Wall Street Journal's bestseller list, and she routinely consults for top companies like Google and Amazon.
Let's talk about the science of Botox. It inhibits your emotional expression, and it also changes your emotional feeling. I did my anger lines. And you know what? I feel less angry. You're justifying Botox in a way. The one predictor of divorce. He can tell you if a couple will get divorced by watching a silent video of them. With 93.6% accuracy they'll get divorced. That's crazy.
A lot of people, they're like, why am I not charismatic? Why do I feel not likable? Why do I feel not memorable? It's actually because you are shutting down your nonverbal cues. It would actually help you the most.
Vanessa Van Edwards, welcome to Unplanned. Yay! Okay, is it okay if I give you a hug? I heard you're a hugger.
Oh my gosh, yes! I love the hug.
So I was so curious how you'd react to that because you've said before that you botched a pitch when you tried to hug the producer who said verbally that they did not like hugs.
Yeah, I was like... Let me come in for a hug. I'm a hugger. And he goes, I'm not. And I just died inside. Just like major cringe. I've also ruined an interview when someone came in for a fist bump, like I show you. Came in for a fist bump and then I just hugged. I went like that. No. I did. I'm a recovering awkward person. And sometimes I mess that up.
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