Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

The Viall Files

E848 Ask Nick - My BF Is Back On Dating Apps

02 Dec 2024

Transcription

Chapter 1: What should I do if my brother's ex blocked me?

2127.785 - 2131.666

You know what's funny is there are pictures of us together where I'm cropped out.

0

2131.906 - 2153.93 Justin

You're cropped out. Listen, again, my point stands. You're trying to reason with insanity. And you're not going to get what you want from this guy by debating or discussing this. Because even if he is being legit with you, it's still crazy behavior. And you don't have to put up with it. And you are.

0

2154.161 - 2170.106

I think that's like what I needed is like reality check and some like tough love that like, no, you're not crazy for thinking that this is crazy. Because like I said, the way that he explains it to me, it's it like it's so unbelievable that it sounds believable.

0

2171.267 - 2190.809 Justin

This is not the type of behavior someone who's seriously excited about a future with someone would do because they would understand and empathize with your position, the emotional distress that be putting you through. And he is either not giving a shit about how this is affecting you, what he's asking you to accept or put up with.

0

2191.129 - 2208.742 Justin

I don't care what you guys have said to each other in terms of I feel like I've known you forever. But like you clearly got you guys do not have the type of rapport to give him that type of trust. And he's asking you to trust something that's truly unbelievable. And this is not going to make or break his business. There's plenty of ways to network.

2209.779 - 2231.365

And that's what he posted me is like, what else should I try? Like what else? He says he's done that, but it can't be linked to his, his boss's business. It has to be just him. Like he had an excuse for that when I asked him like, what about LinkedIn or what about Reddit? And he was like, well, it can't be tied to my boss's business. It has to be just, what does that mean? I don't know.

2231.385 - 2254.151 Justin

I don't know either. It doesn't matter. Again, I don't think you should reason with this guy. I think you should be like, listen, I want you to be successful, but if you're asking me to be okay with you on dating apps, then I don't want to be in a relationship. It's that simple. I really don't care what the reason is. There's other ways to do your job.

2254.471 - 2268.116 Justin

You can say what you want about me, but I'm just not comfortable with my boyfriend being on dating apps. You're literally matching with my friends. My friends see you on there. I'm just not doing this. But you have to be willing to walk away.

2268.706 - 2291.945

yeah and that's like probably what would happen because i don't think that he would stop which is like that's like the hard part about it is like i feel like it's like high risk like why what what do you what is so different about this guy that you know when you say he's the first person i've liked in so long yeah what makes him so what makes him what would you like about him you can't find with other right like up until a few months ago it's like it's

Chapter 3: What are the implications of being a potential father?

4167.586 - 4191.125 Justin

I smoke weed. I think people know that. I've been trying to cut back drastically. I'm currently on a no weed weekdays. I'm allowing myself to do it on the weekend. I am not someone who's ever abused substance and I like to be in control but the reality is is that I didn't start until I was an adult but I do suffer from anxiety. It's been a challenge. Again, I don't love that I'm on it.

0

4191.205 - 4198.727 Justin

And I'm sure I would be willing to bet that he probably doesn't like that he's reliant on it either. I'm guessing. Right. Is that do you think that's fair?

0

4198.927 - 4219.892

It never seemed to bother him after I broke up with him over it. Now he's saying that he realizes he has a dependency on it and he's like trying to just quit because he. You know, like, he was happy with me and he wishes he hadn't let this, like, ruin our relationship. I don't know. At the time, it seemed like he didn't care, like, that he was doing it all the time.

0

4219.912 - 4222.094 Justin

So... And by the way, do you drink alcohol?

0

4222.714 - 4222.954

Yes.

4223.234 - 4223.595 Justin

How much?

4223.935 - 4235.114

Oh, God. We fought about it all the time because, I mean, I... Didn't drink every day, but maybe like four or five times a week. Four or five times a week? Damn.

4235.354 - 4254.827

Well, like a beer, you know, like once he started the whole like not smoking during the week, just on the weekends thing. I just started drinking on the weekends because I felt like that was like a fair compromise. So I've been drinking less, but we would fight about it a lot. Be like, well, what's the difference between me smoking and you drinking? But I just I didn't want to drink.

4255.647 - 4275.977 Justin

Yes, someone like me. I think there's a huge difference. And I think alcohol, I mean, it's not even a debate. The stats on how damaging alcohol can be. But yeah, there's a bit of hypocrisy coming from your end a tad. I know. But we also recognize that like we have a culture like I am not super comfortable acknowledging my weed smoking.

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.