Episode Highlights With PaulWhat horizontal relationships are and why they matterHow vertical dynamics create shame and resistanceThe nervous system connection in parenting and how this can help us be more connected and effective in relationship with our children How Freud and Richard Adler differed on the topic of horizontal relationships and traumaPractical examples for shifting into horizontal parentingThe flaw with superior positions in relationships and how this robs us of our confidence and autonomy “Self sacrifice” and how it's a nobler term for self abandonment and how we program this into our kidsHow the vertical side uses extreme circumstances to argue for vertical relationshipsWhy connection > control in raising autonomous adultsHow repair builds lifelong trustHow this approach makes you a better leader everywhere else in your lifeUtility verticality vs relational verticality Reputation and the puppet strings it has on us as human beings and how this comes into play in parentingIt isn’t that the strong survive.. It is the connected that survive Punishment: So much of punishment is laziness on the parents part and the fear of reputationIt isn’t about just changing the behavior but addressing the underlying reason and capacity Forgiveness isn’t the letting go of what happened but the softening of the blame There are over 400 unique characteristics that will emerge in your child regardless of how you parent themHow this can create space for a both/and instead of an either/or in parenting Guilt perpetuated by reputation and verticality After age 7, our role as a parent is to be a safe place for a child's exploration of themselvesResources MentionedPaul's website and his InstagramWhat Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and HealingThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Paul LevineKiss Me Like a Stranger: My Search for Love and Art by Gene WilderBioptimizersI love and use so many products from them, but I especially love the magnesium and digestive enzymes. Visit bioptimizers.com/wellnessmama and use wellnessmama15 at checkout to get the best dealBONCHARGEI like so many of their products - from their red light products to their sauna blankets. Red light has been so helpful for me during my recovery from Hashimoto's. To find out more, go to boncharge.com/wellnessmama and use code wellnessmama for 20% off!

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