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The William Montgomery Show

Roozie Tehranian | The William Montgomery Show Ep. 227

09 Apr 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

3.625 - 40.542 William Montgomery

Recorded live in Austin, Texas, USA. It's the William Montgomery Show. Starring William Montgomery. With the Tony Chin Orchestra. The William Montgomery Junior Dancers. This week, Rattlesnake Dave. A performance by the Great Gorbini. And a mysterious loaf of raisin bread. And now, here he is, the big red machine, the Memphis Strangler, William Montgomery! WMS sounds like a disease.

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42.446 - 66.084 William Montgomery

Oh my gosh, Roosie, I didn't even think about that. Maybe that's our problem. Grant, did you think about that? Does WMS sound like a disease? Do you suffer from WMS? William Montgomery Syndrome. William Montgomery Syndrome. It's where you look in the mirror and you see a turtle looking back at you. I'm kidding. That's called turtle dysmorphia. Did you know that? First time I've heard that.

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66.104 - 83.851 William Montgomery

Yeah, turtle dysmorphia. It's where you look, you're in the bathroom or whatever, you look at yourself in the mirror and it's a turtle looking back. I'm kidding. That's actually one of the jokes. Well, Ruzi. And for those wondering, this is my dear friend Ruzi on the show today. Ruzi, thank you so much for being on the show. It's a great honor and pleasure for you to be on the show today.

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83.911 - 90.602 Roozie Tehranian

Man, for me to say that, what an honor to have befriended you. And I can't believe I'm sitting here. This is crazy.

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90.65 - 106.25 William Montgomery

And for those wondering, Ruzi and I met on a website called, no, I'm kidding. I was trying to think of some weird dating website. Farmers only. Farmersonly.com. I wonder about that. Do you think there's actually that many farmers out there to be even using that website?

Chapter 2: What humorous observations does Roozie make about William Montgomery Syndrome?

106.29 - 107.913 William Montgomery

Are there that many farmers anymore?

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107.953 - 109.755 Roozie Tehranian

That's a great question.

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109.904 - 115.391 William Montgomery

I have no idea. Isn't it like the corporations, how the corporations end up eating all the small business? Isn't it like.

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115.411 - 122.199 Roozie Tehranian

And like, what is the age of farmers that are signing up? And most farmers are kind of older, right? So it's like.

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122.219 - 126.043 William Montgomery

I picture farmers as a farmer is an old guy. And maybe that's wrong.

126.144 - 131.931 Roozie Tehranian

Age group is even. I don't know. On that dating app. Maybe you should go on there and check it out. Maybe I should.

131.971 - 151.605 William Montgomery

Do some investigative work. Yeah. In Denver, Colorado, I got on a. One of the dating websites very briefly and I went on as my I did some character where I was running for county alderman and I did my character on that dating as my dating app profile and I didn't get any matches in like a week and I thought okay I'm deleting this and never getting back on.

151.585 - 159.782 Roozie Tehranian

And not to obsess over farmers only. And then they don't farm everywhere, too, in the United States. So it's like got to be from state to state as well, too. Right.

159.802 - 181.066 William Montgomery

Like it would have to be different. I mean, what in Mississippi are going to get some soybean farmers are going to get some cotton farmers and what Iowa, maybe some corn potatoes, potatoes. I don't know what kind of farmer I would like to maybe in my fantasy world, maybe like a soybean farmer or something could be fun to to meet and hit it off with. I don't know.

Chapter 3: How did Roozie and William meet, and what funny stories do they share?

209.794 - 216.205 Roozie Tehranian

Oh, from the Orient. Yeah. Cause someone's like, are they Persian rugs? I was like, no, no, that's, that's my department, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

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216.225 - 219.63 William Montgomery

So what is, but there are Persian rugs though, aren't there?

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219.67 - 226.682 Roozie Tehranian

Oh yeah. They're super expensive and like high quality. Very, very well made. It takes them years to make them, you know, like.

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226.797 - 234.788 William Montgomery

Would I be able to tell the difference, I wonder, between like a Persian rug and just an Oriental quote unquote rug? I wonder, or do they look generally similar?

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234.888 - 245.903 Roozie Tehranian

They do kind of look similar. There's some different patterns that are specifically like the Persian like style that you can kind of tell. But but there are definitely crossovers because your rugs look kind of Persian.

245.883 - 252.15 William Montgomery

Oh, cool. Yeah, I need them Persian-y looking. And I got my vacuum cleaner working my little handheld vac yesterday.

252.21 - 257.556 Roozie Tehranian

Yeah, that's very Persian right there. Yeah, I love how that looks. That's beautiful. It is beautiful.

258.477 - 262.821 William Montgomery

So what? They were made over in Persia? Is that where people started making the rugs?

263.162 - 287.263 Roozie Tehranian

I guess, you know. Yeah, who knows? And then it's, you know, Persia was pretty much that whole area of the Middle East, that whole... And now, you know, Persians are pretty much Iranians. So... Um, all the rugs now are like made. Oh yeah. Look at the Oriental rug next to it. Yeah. All the rugs now are made in Iran and, but they still call them like a Persian rug, you know, Persian cat. For sure.

Chapter 4: What is the significance of Persian rugs in their conversation?

545.263 - 549.648 William Montgomery

Oh my gosh. You got to take good care of that and drop it off the table or something.

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549.668 - 555.675 Roozie Tehranian

It's in a beautiful display case. It's almost like, you know, you don't even really smoke it, but they have.

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556.636 - 560.742 Roozie Tehranian

Oh my gosh. They definitely have. Yeah. Oh, thanks for the logo. That's awesome.

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560.922 - 561.483 William Montgomery

Oh, I love it.

561.603 - 561.903 Roozie Tehranian

Yeah.

561.923 - 565.448 William Montgomery

You got me those cool shirts, uh, yesterday too. I'm going to be rocking those.

565.468 - 584.415 Roozie Tehranian

Oh yeah. And so, yeah, I started a little merch line as well. A few years ago called a few years ago called clever ruse, um, based off of, you know, fish lyric, my friend, my friend, the clever ruse, I'm your clever ruse. Um, but so going back to the story you said with the battery, that was crazy because we were at connoisseurs yesterday and, uh,

584.395 - 603.417 Roozie Tehranian

They said that it's on six, not too far from the mothership. And they were telling us how Tony comes in there and buy cigarettes and stuff. And he used to send his assistant there, but then she was injured from the battery. And then we saw her last night and I was like, wait, it's got to be. Do you remember her name? I'm spacing. Sarah. Sarah. Yeah. She does the horse thing.

Chapter 5: What funny anecdotes do they share about their experiences in New Orleans?

1033.79 - 1050.71 William Montgomery

So maybe you're talking to one person. You don't really like how their voice sounds. Maybe it's as simple as you don't like how their voice sounds. Grant, you can end up finding somebody else that you like how their voice sounds better or you like what they're telling you better. What's wrong with my voice? Hey, stop that. You know, I think it's a little too squeaky.

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1051.791 - 1079.617 William Montgomery

But Grant, BetterHelp is a great place. Again, quality therapists, they match you with the correct therapist. And there's a bunch of reviews to confirm that it's a real website. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash WMS. That's BetterHelp.com slash WMS. So what did you study? So what did you study in school?

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1079.898 - 1104.457 Roozie Tehranian

That's I dropped out. I didn't know what I was going to do. So I was at first also going to be a political science major and then therapy, like a like a therapist, psychology and then music. And then I was like, fuck this. And then you started making the bongs with your buddies. I sold a, so I was selling weed at the time. And then I, the people, people would come over.

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1104.497 - 1123.521 Roozie Tehranian

It was very pineapple express. People would come over and hang out with me, you know, pick up smoke. And then we luckily met these dudes that were making the bongs. And so I, you know, grabbed like one just for myself and people would come over and be like, oh, this is a sweet bong. Like, where'd you get this? I was like, man, these guys in the warehouse. I had like a band practice spot.

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1123.801 - 1132.581 Roozie Tehranian

It's just like an abandoned building and they're all different rooms. They call it like a lockout. And so we were practicing there and they were in the industrial building, like kind of next to us or close to us.

1132.621 - 1134.084 William Montgomery

Do they have power in these buildings?

1134.104 - 1156.097 Roozie Tehranian

Oh yeah. Yeah. And people had like converted them to like half band spots and some people lived in them, you know, and, and, or it was also like at the time when I was like 19, 20 years old. So living with my parents, you wanted like your, I couldn't afford a spot to move out. But all four of the band mates could go in on a $400 little lockout and make it our fucking hangout spot, you know?

1156.858 - 1176.357 Roozie Tehranian

And so we did that and met these glass blowers. And then once I brought the bong back, people would just come over to pick up weed and then saw the bong and were like, well, what's up with this? And I'd sold it. And then I'd go grab another one. I was like, well, let me grab a couple and then started selling that. And then once I sold, like got like a nice order at my first head shop that I sold a

1176.337 - 1191.513 Roozie Tehranian

The bongs, too. I remember just being like, I'm going to sell bongs for the rest of my life. That's great. This is it. I didn't know you could... Because it was more legal than weed. And this was before weed was legalized.

Chapter 6: What are the differences between bongs and pipes in Roozie's experience?

1216.946 - 1224.686 Roozie Tehranian

So and it's funny because like my parents, you know, are so sweet and so supportive. But, you know, like weed selling.

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1224.706 - 1229.057 William Montgomery

Right. My parents would have freaked out if they ever knew I was selling weed. They probably would have lost it a little bit.

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1229.037 - 1247.162 Roozie Tehranian

Even smoking, it was the taboo of it just being so illegal. And at that time, which is crazy, I live in Orange County, California. I went to high school in Hawaii where weed was like super lax. You would almost feel like it's legal. People smoke at the beach and like wherever. whole bra. I was on Oahu.

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1247.803 - 1254.695 William Montgomery

Um, but then how did you go to high school? Why were you in high school? That sounds like a wonderful place, but what were you doing in Hawaii for the school?

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1255.176 - 1279.858 Roozie Tehranian

My dad, uh, worked, uh, is a flight engineer. So, uh, There's the if you've seen the movie Airplane, you know, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, he's the flight engineer. Like there's the pilot, the co-pilot and then the dude in front of the panel. Yeah. Up in the cockpit. Yep, he was. And so he flew for Iran Air and then he flew for MGM actually before they had opened the casino.

1280.119 - 1283.665 Roozie Tehranian

And they had like a private line to where they flew around sports teams and stuff.

Chapter 7: How did Roozie start his career in the glass industry?

1283.645 - 1306.412 Roozie Tehranian

Yeah, I've never heard of MGM airplanes. Yeah, MGM Grand Air is what it used to be. So and he flew around like the Lakers and like, man, bands, Guns N' Roses, Michael Jackson, Madonna. Like, you know, he has backstage passes to like all those. They just give the whole crew backstage passes. And so eventually he got a job with Japan Airlines and he got based in Hawaii.

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1306.392 - 1310.338 Roozie Tehranian

And so I was like in seventh grade, so we didn't have a choice. Moved out to Hawaii.

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1310.358 - 1312.401 William Montgomery

Were you happy to, what, from California?

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1312.421 - 1332.491 Roozie Tehranian

At the time, no, because all my friends, you know, were in California. Yeah, you probably had friends. But I love the fact that I got to grow up in Hawaii. Because we go back, I've taken my wife, you know, multiple times now. Some of my best friends live there. And it's, yeah, it's just such a... Great way to go reset your soul. Yeah, I love it.

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1332.831 - 1337.536 Roozie Tehranian

It really feels like it's not a part of the United States, but it's still it. For sure.

1337.576 - 1350.269 William Montgomery

And I've just gone to Waikiki Beach the past couple times, which I know is very touristy, but I'm happy as a clam just getting an umbrella just right on Waikiki Beach in front of one of the hotels.

1350.409 - 1354.934 Roozie Tehranian

And if you go anywhere five, ten minutes outside of Waikiki, it's so awesome, too.

1355.174 - 1377.344 William Montgomery

See, I have to explain. around it because I think Waikiki Beach is just so wonderful in paradise. So I'm sure it only gets better. Tons better. Yeah. Yeah. I went in the third grade with my cousin's grandparents. They took me, which was so nice of them. And we went to a number of islands and And I remember they weren't feeding us at all. So during one day we got breakfast at some gas station.

1377.364 - 1396.486 William Montgomery

I got some big ass submarine sandwich because I was so starving because my cousins wouldn't eat that much food so that we just weren't eating any food. You didn't get no spam musubis? No, no spam. I think I would have been scared at the time to eat spam, but it was, yeah, I was starving, but it was a very fun trip because we saw so much. Yeah, that's awesome.

Chapter 8: What challenges does Roozie face running a smoke shop?

1489.401 - 1490.705 William Montgomery

I love it when it's legal.

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1490.725 - 1501.51 Roozie Tehranian

I love it. Absolutely. So that was one thing I think, you know, my parents eventually. And when you're young, you're like, this is going to be legal one day, you know. But then it actually became legal. That was the one thing I was right about.

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1501.65 - 1506.217 William Montgomery

So they were fine once it was legal. It kind of was a different deal.

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1506.378 - 1519.659 Roozie Tehranian

And I've been selling the glass for so long now that like, you know, even five years into it, my dad would still be like, you know, the bank's hiring, you know, and I was like, man, you got to like shave fucking every day for the, to work at the bank. Like, what are you talking about?

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1520.04 - 1524.067 William Montgomery

Wait, did you ever get in trouble selling the bongs or glass online or no?

1524.087 - 1533.043 Roozie Tehranian

No, no, no, no. Thank God. And I even before I opened my store, I had a Sprinter van and just threw a bunch of like different artists work.

1533.023 - 1550.914 Roozie Tehranian

on the bus on my van and would just go state to state and sell glass to head shops like that was my whole thing and knock on wood on that whole whole trip i i never once got pulled over but i was definitely sketched out driving through states like georgia and you know alabama and

1550.894 - 1557.633 William Montgomery

Well, that's good to know, because I always assumed as long as you have a pipe and there's not any weed residue in it, you're just OK.

1557.653 - 1565.916 Roozie Tehranian

I had no idea. I know friends that have distribution companies like that and have had their entire van, some trucks like confiscated.

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