She's Had Dinner with Over 1,000 Strangers — Here's What She Learned, with Jess Janz
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Who is Jess Jess Janz and what is the Dinner with Strangers concept?
Hey, I'm Kirsten McNamee, and you're listening to the Thinking About Podcast. Hi, and welcome back to the Thing About Podcast. Today's guest is someone that I have wanted on this podcast since probably it started, if not very close to that, because she is what I would consider to be the queen of making simple everyday moments mean something. Jess Janz is an author, a community facilitator, and the founder of Dinner with Strangers, also the brand with strangers. It's a concept she started in her friend's hair studio in 2017 with one simple rule, no work talk. Since then, she's hosted over 60 dinners connected with more than a thousand people and built something that I think is genuinely rare, a community rooted in real presence and real conversation.
She also has a book coming out soon, The Table Where We Meet. And if the way Jess writes is any indication or the poems that she shares on Instagram, which I am literally obsessed with, it's going to be the exact kind of book that you want to press into the hands of every person you love. It's going to be funny, heartbreaking, and deeply human. And pre-orders are open now. So head to the link in our show notes so that you can order yours. I've already ordered mine. Jess is one of the people that started as someone that I admired from the internet because she shared real moments and connection and why that mattered, which is so deeply rooted in everything that I love and quite literally what this podcast is about. And then became someone that I'm glad to know in real life. She has a rare ability to make people feel seen in a room, in her writing, in a single question. And I think that's coming through in every single minute of the conversation that we share this episode.
So Jess, welcome to the podcast. I'm so glad you're all here to listen. And I hope that you enjoy this conversation with someone who hopefully won't be your stranger after this. If you want to connect with Jess or me and let us know what kept you thinking from the episode, please send it our way. DM us, voice note us, whatever you want to do. And I hope you love the episode and we'll talk to you next week. Jess Janz, welcome to the Thinking About podcast. I am so excited that you're here. I feel like I have wanted to get you on this podcast for a lifetime and we did it. And I cannot wait to dive into all the things today.
Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for having me. It's like always so fun to be, I mean, podcasts are fun, but it's like extra fun when it's a real friend. Although it kind of makes me extra nervous because then I'm like, I don't know. It's like, I want you to, I want to do a good job for you. I want to like do your podcast proud.
I have no doubts that you will. We always start, because it's called the Think About Podcast, with what currently has you thinking. It can be anything from what you had for breakfast to what you see outside or something that's like deep inside your heart. So what's your answer today?
Oh my goodness. Well, that's a bottomless question because there's just 9,000 thoughts since breakfast. I think a big goal right now because I've written a book called The Table Where We Meet and run these dinners that are about connection with people. And I think as an artist in general, like I'm like a people watcher. I have always been thinking about like, what are people feeling? And like, does anyone feel like me? But I observe people. people for the most part and I feel like the lesson of this season currently is like how do I actually engage with the world around me and like I engage in my professional settings of like this funny weird job that I've invented for myself with dinner with strangers but like when I'm just like out in the world as an anonymous person I'm very happy to like keep to my own little internal universe and so I've been challenging myself to like look for moments of connection and like
I used to be such a downer on small talk, but I have realized that there's like just because something's lighthearted doesn't mean that it's shallow. And so I've been thinking about kind of rethinking about what is small talk and the functionality of small talk and like bantering with people and how quickly you can like get this like actual real glimmer of people when we talk.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Who is Jess Jess Janz and what is the Dinner with Strangers concept?
0:00–6:40
2
Why does Dinner with Strangers have a strict “no work talk” rule?
6:40–13:09
3
How did the very first Dinner with Strangers dinner get started in a hair studio?
13:09–19:33
4
What have you learned from hosting over 1,000 strangers at more than 60 dinners?
19:33–26:03
5
Which questions never fail to get people opening up and connecting?
26:03–32:51
6
What does it really feel like to hold space for a room full of strangers and deal with the post‑event adrenaline crash?
32:51–39:10
7
How can we rethink small talk so it feels lighthearted instead of shallow?
39:10–45:55
8
What one small thing can you do today to create more real connection in your life?
45:55–54:12