676: Here’s Looking at You, Kid
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What transformation did Gary Gulman experience in high school?
A quick warning, there are curse words that are unbeaped in today's episode of the show. If you prefer a beeped version, you can find that at our website, thisamericanlife.org. Gary did not want to become a football player. No interest in the game at all. He was a timid kid, the kind of kid who, in baseball, would close his eyes when he was up at bat. He was so scared of getting hit by the ball. But when you're in high school, you know, your personality is still up for grabs. And at Gary's high school, there was not one person, but two people with a very different vision of who he was. They were assistant high school football coaches and very noticeable, big personalities, and they were twins. And...
I didn't really know their name. I'd seen them around. They were super handsome and in great shape. I mean, they were ripped, and they would wear Gold's Gym tank tops and jams, these shorts, these Hawaiian shorts. They would wear those, and they had really long hair, and they were very charming, charismatic, funny.
How did Gary's coaches influence his identity as an athlete?
And they were known as the Jetsons, which was this self-proclaimed nickname, I think. Wait, they called themselves the Jetsons? They referred to themselves? Yeah, because the Jetsons was people from the future, and they felt that they were. Like that. They were definitely the first people I ever noticed who referred to themselves in that, is it the third person?
Yeah.
The Jetsons are coming to get you. The Jetsons will see you. The Jetsons. That's what they would say. Sometimes they would say, Johnny Jetson will be with you today. Joe Jetson will be with you tomorrow. They're like magical figures. Yeah, they really were.
What challenges did Gary face during his first football practice?
And these magical figures, these assistant football coaches, they gave Gary his own nickname in the fall of junior year. It was not a glittery name like the Jetsons. Kind of the opposite, actually. Waste, they called him. As in waste of talent to like gold man to playing football. They told him that football would get him a college scholarship. It would get him girls. They said the newspaper would write about him. They wanted him on the team so badly because Gary was a giant compared to most of the kids playing football back then. This was in Peabody, Massachusetts, a Boston suburb near Salem in the late 80s. Most high school players back then were 5'9", 5'10". Gary was 6'6", 200 pounds. And he was athletic.
Played basketball on his high school team. Those coaches scolded him for his complete lack of aggression and for crying.
How did Gary's summer training change his physical appearance?
What he really loved doing was art projects, going to the arts and crafts store, reading. He kept an enormous stuffed animal collection in his room, even in high school. He was also pretty depressed at the time. Gary's a comedian today, Gary Goleman. And on stage, when he tries to describe what he was like as a kid... I talk about being Charlie Brown. I say, picture my childhood, Charlie Brown, if Snoopy had died. That was my childhood. I felt so sorry for him. Because Charlie Brown, the whole point of his character is that he's sad and lonely. But even that wasn't lonely enough. You have to kill off his dog. Yes. So when the Jetsons started telling him that they were going to make him into a star, he laughed it off.
He liked the attention from the Jetsons, sure, but he did not consider this seriously at all.
What was the significance of Gary's first game in high school football?
Football seemed brutal. Just nonstop violent physical contact. He did not think he could cut it. Guys he knew who played football, they were so tough. Gary, on the other hand, he got picked on. He got bullied. He was bullied out of Little League. So football? No way. And then his junior year ended, and just a couple days into summer break, it was June, 6.30 in the morning, he got a phone call. Woke him up. It's the Twins. They said, Go Man, this is the Jetsons. Meet us at the Universe Gym at 7.30. We are going to train the Go Man this summer and get the Go Man a scholarship and make the Go Man into a star.
How did Gary's perception of himself change throughout the season?
By the end of the summer, you will be 245 pounds and ripped like Arnold. It was so weird and bold. And on the spur of the moment, he figures, what the hell?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What transformation did Gary Gulman experience in high school?
0:01–0:59
2
How did Gary's coaches influence his identity as an athlete?
0:59–1:37
3
What challenges did Gary face during his first football practice?
1:37–2:26
4
How did Gary's summer training change his physical appearance?
2:26–3:16
5
What was the significance of Gary's first game in high school football?
3:16–4:02
6
How did Gary's perception of himself change throughout the season?
4:02–4:56
7
What led to Gary's mental health struggles during football?
4:56–5:46
8
How did Gary ultimately redefine his identity beyond football?
5:46–1:02:05