Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
If your business communications are basically a burner phone and a prayer, you know, I'm talking about missed calls, texts that nobody answered, customers following up for the third and fourth time, well, then obviously things are a mess. And at some point you just, you hit that wall and you're like, all right, I'm done with this. Let's fucking quo.
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Hey guys, just want to let you know this episode is kind of, it's a little more of a raunchy-ish conversation, more raunchier. And it's great, but it was deemed 18 and over by some platforms. Just want to let you know that in case you're riding in the car with your kids or something like that. Hope everybody's having a great day. Enjoy the episode. Today's guest is a stand-up comedian.
Some people call him the Estonian assassin because he's from a country called Estonia. You may have seen him on Kill Tony. He's touring all over the country right now. I'm grateful to spend time with Mr. Ari Mati.
Shine on me And I will find a smile
I got you.
You guys don't do headphones, do you? Nah, I don't care about it, do you? Nah, I don't know. Joe does it. You did Rogan's.
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Chapter 2: What does Ari Matti share about his experiences in Nashville?
And now he's smiling. Now he's straight. Now he's straight. There you go, dude. Well, they had that praying the gay out of children. Remember, that was a big thing. Not for us, but big in America. In America.
Pray the gay away, pray the gay away.
Yeah.
And it's always the gayest guy telling you to pray. And it's funny that they send you to a camp filled with 40 dudes and deep in the woods with no contact to the outside world. Seems like a great place. They even tell you, even God shut his eyes for this one. Don't worry. The next two weeks, we are free in the river, brother. Free at last, brother. Free at last.
Well, gays, you know, I grew up around it. Have you ever seen a rest area in America?
Like a pit, like a rest stop? Yeah, that's where you suck, suck, suck, suck.
It was a big thing. And they shut it down for a while. They started putting like glyphosate in the backyard there and stuff like that. They tried to shut it down.
You don't stop gay people from fucking, dude.
I'm like, it'll kill weeds, but it's not stopping some of these sexual trends. But they had a lot of gays in our area. They would meet up behind there. For sure. And they had a river back there, and they'd do drugs and get out in the river and hug and everything.
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Chapter 3: What are the humorous anecdotes shared about childhood experiences?
Deleted scenes from the Bible is a funny concept.
Anyway, I interrupted you.
I'm doing a little pushups. I'm getting a little glisten going. Then I see a guy like walking past and it's, When guys trying to fuck, it's a look they have. It's just the way they move. It's like he's walking one way, but he's looking at me like this. He's got his sunglasses on, but he's peeking over the sunglasses, right? Right.
So everything he's doing, he's doing something separate. Like he's walking one way, but looking another way. He's got sunglasses on, but he's got them down and looking over. So he's- He's establishing contact. First contact. Yes, sir. Yes, he is.
He keeps walking. I keep boxing. Now you're boxing harder. Yeah, I'm trying to be like, look at this shit. You don't want none of this. And then five minutes go by. He comes out of another bush. Like I hear like a crack. And I'm like, now he's closer. Oh. So now I take my music out because I need all my senses. This might be an ambush. There might be several of them.
This is like a room of mirrors. Which is the real guy trying to fuck me, dude. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah. So I need all my senses. That'd be a cool game show. So I'm trying to get sober. I throw some water on my face. I need to be sharp. I put my backpack on. I'm about to. I have to fuck my way out of this forest.
You fix your hip really quick. Yeah.
Oh yeah, I start warming up. So then he comes, hey man. And I try to give him a hey man, but not a hey man, not a friendly one. I give him a hey man, like a little.
Right, like what are we doing here?
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts discuss the complexities of sexuality and childhood exploration?
I go, nah, I don't want a beer. Yeah. Then I realize, oh, oh, he's out here. And then he disappears. I change location. Different guy. Like another one. Backpack. He's looking like he's been in the woods for days looking for Dick. Wow. And this new guy. Like where's Dick though? Yeah. Kind of like where's Waldo but a little different. Like where's Dick though? And he walks past. Same look.
Just a full eye contact. And now I see there's a Oh, hanging from. He's got it out. He's got it out. Oh. Maybe he heard. Yeah. Maybe, like, down at the base. Like, that was the messenger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got one. Yeah, yeah. And it's kind of on me. I mean, I'm a little like a gay superhero.
I will say.
I know. It's kind of on me, by the way.
Yeah, you're like a piece of bait in the woods. You've set your shadow boxing, which shadow boxing is, but here's what it gives, I think. It gives this idea, oh, I wish somebody else were here with me. Exactly. Oh. The shadow. I need someone to be the shadow. Right. So then the guy just paints himself black and it starts laying connected to your feet.
Then I see his cock. Now I'm kind of offended. By the way, you know what I was offended? Both those guys looked like absolute ass. Like 50 years old. I'm a beautiful angel. I'm like 26 years old at my prime. I'm doing shadow boxing. Even if I fuck you... The others would never believe you. Dude, I would be like a myth that they talk about in the gay circle for years.
There's this blue-eyed... Yeah, yeah. If you stay in Stanley Park long enough, an angel will appear. So... God dang, bro. And I'm like, and it's funny. It's my first time being like kind of like sexually assaulted, I would say. And it's funny. It kind of put things into perspective for me as well. How like, it's not. Tell it. It's not that I can't beat the fuck out of you. I'm not in danger.
I don't feel threatened like a woman with a bigger man would in that situation. Right. But the fact you're like showing me your cock makes me feel like a bitch.
You know, it's like- Let me think about it for a second. Like if I've ever seen somebody's cock, like how did I feel about it?
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Chapter 5: What humorous childhood experiences does Ari share?
Like popples. Like you ever see popples? Never. Okay. But okay. Well, inspector.
I had a potato. Okay, yeah, some people... We had a long winter communism and a potato.
But here's what I'm saying. But I think we take for granted in America that stuffed animals here get, like, they'll tuck them in the bed and they'll, like, treat them well or get them a little glass of water.
I didn't treat this bitch well at all. Yeah. This bitch got ran through, dude. Oh, my God. She was a dirty little... He was a man.
She was a dirty little... He was a male cat.
No, no, no, no.
Dude, he was a male cat with pink skin. He was obviously going through a lot.
And then, and then what?
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Chapter 6: How does Ari describe the differences in Estonian and American cultures?
Like maybe like 10 years ago when I, when me and my girlfriend were chilling at my place, we did a little role play and she dressed as the, because she didn't know the story from my old podcast, so.
Oh, and for your birthday or something she did it?
Yeah, she dressed as the Pink Panther.
Oh, that's pretty.
And I was the detective, detective Clozor. I can't remember his name.
And I was like, da-dun, da-dun, da-dun, da-dun, da-dun, da-dun, da-dun. You're sucking my cock. It's great to see you having a good time in our country. When your uncle pulled up with a fresh raccoon to Thanksgiving and nobody questioned him. That's a power move right there.
When your mom's friend stayed over just one night and now lives there and drinks up all your whole milk and wears your freaking pants sometimes, that's also a power move. Just like how hiring Morgan and Morgan is a power move. Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. Yep, yep. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 1,000 lawyers.
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Chapter 7: What does Ari say about the impact of free speech?
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Chapter 8: How does Ari's comedy journey reflect cultural changes?
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Like, cause we're talking about sex and being young. And so you're saying that like, what is the conversation really? Like, what is the real conversation you would have with the kid? Like, how do you really do that with a kid? Do you think, cause obviously you and I grew up in a way where like we were figuring that ourselves. Like for me, I realized now like,
I don't like talking about a lot of sexual stuff with my friends even, because to me, like sex was always like a secret thing. Like a private thing. Yes. And it was secret. I had to sneak and find the magazines and I had to do it in secret. So like, so my whole life I've always felt like, like it's like, it's not like scary, but it's like a secretive thing.
And it's like very like, it's super secretive. And do you think that's good or no?
I don't think that it's good. I don't think it's good either. Like my household, I had a single mother. We had a stepdad at one point, but my mom had a lot of boyfriends. She would be, you know, in Estonia, we have sauna culture. So everyone's naked. Everyone's naked. Well, you have what culture? Sauna culture.
Sauna. Sauna. Okay, saunas, yeah.
Like even as a little kid, like even as a little kid, I would sit, you know a sauna, it's got the, you know the steps? It's hotter up there. So kids would always be sitting in front of the feet of the adults. And even my mom's girlfriends would come over and I would be in the sauna with the ladies. I would sit in front and is like so far from my face.
Like as a kid, I would look back, I'd laugh at it, they would laugh at it.
Very close, a casual distance.
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