#685 - Joey Diaz
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What brings Joey Diaz to New Jersey and what are his plans for Austin?
He's a legendary comedian, podcaster, and friend. You know him from the church of what's happening now. He's gonna be popping up in Austin more too, it looks like. Uh I had a great time catching up with the great Joey Coco Diaz.
Yeah.
Me. And I will find a song, I will sing it looks.
Good to see. What'd you end up doing last night? Did
you go to the watchburr? No, I didn't. They get some guy freaking had a stroke over there in the audience or whatever. Some guy who fucking couldn't hold it or whatever had a heart attack. And then uh and they had to start the show an hour late. So I was gonna stop over there because I'm staying right over by um Gotham Comedy Club on twenty third, twenty second, twenty third. How were you in town for? Till Monday. I'm gonna go to the US Open.
Okay.
I've never been before. It's a blast. You then? No, 'cause I don't want to sit there going like this. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But if the cops come, that's my aunt. But it's a
it's a great time. It's good to go up there. Lotta bitches. Really? Lot of bitches looking for fucking husbands. 'Cause I one of my friends hit me up US husb uh US Open. Wish me luck to find the husband. So
Yeah, so yeah, so I'm excited about that. But um, dude, I was we I was walking on here, dude, I saw this somebody drew us Tony Hinchcliffe on a building here. Do you see that? No. Here in Asbury. Asbury is this what it's called? Yeah, Asbury Park. Asbury Park, is that it? Grazie. Is that Tony Hinzler? For sure. I don't think so. Oh, that's him for sure. That's gotta be him. Dude, do you know b- uh you know bam bam bigelos from here? And bamboo the wrestler. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody's
from Did you ever meet him? No. Oh no. Yeah, that's him right there.
How does Theo describe his experience at the US Open and the Asbury Park comedy scene?
That guy's from you. I had no idea. Wow, and he's older than I am. That guy. Іде.
Oh. He could've fucking faked it. Name was Scott. That's a tough career being a wrestler, guys.
Yeah. You gotta fight some like imagine you get on stage and you gotta fight somebody for a half hour.
I'm not even worried about I'm worried about getting there and then like, Oh, tonight you're bombing. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. So that you're bombing and somebody's gonna throw a chair on you. Okay. I feel better about myself though.
That's true, dude. Fuck, bro. Yeah, a lot of my friends are at Burning Man actually this week, man. Did you ever go?
Are you fucking crazy? You don't go to that theater. Don't get involved in that. That's Up the people that uh and all that pussy skank it. You think four or five days without washing it, putting it in a hole, not eating right, no vitamins, out in the desert with sand crawling in your uterus. That ain't no good for your snatch, dog. Dirty, filthy white chicks. Those are filthy white chicks, bro. Twenty years ago I'd be over there eating ass and getting my dick sucked, but now I'm too old. One of those diseases catches you around, you end up with Lyme disease or something going to fucking bitches up there. Oh
dude, I'll get bro, I'll get Lyme disease in my lungs, dude, some of the shit I'm into, you know.
Six in the morning right there. Yeah. What are we? There's a war going on. You want to dance in the desert? Come on, bro. Fucking,
how lost are you? Somebody'll have an anthill in their ass out there, dude. It's a lot, bro. You get the dust on it. And you'll see like one of those uh like a a woman will have an IUD in, but it's like a dream catcher version or whatever. It's like they got some wild shit out there. Yeah,
they got shit to catch a boar. Yeah. And they'll snatch. If a boar wants to go,
it fucking stops
it. Oh.
No, you don't ever want to go to that field. Trying to maintain a they'll have a falcon doing tarot cars and shit. They got people on all kinds of shit out there.
And they're all rich.
Yeah. They're all rich. They're all trust funders. Don't believe the hype. Yeah, it's like going to a fancy club, but they move it out to the desert. That's what it is. That's all it is. For the regular junkie that's out there who took his bike out there, who drove freaking rode 200 miles from Laughlin to get over there or something.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What brings Joey Diaz to New Jersey and what are his plans for Austin?
0:00–1:55
2
How does Theo describe his experience at the US Open and the Asbury Park comedy scene?
1:55–5:02
3
Why does Theo talk about raising his daughter street‑smart and keeping a clean home?
5:02–8:29
4
What trauma from his mother’s death does Theo share and how has it shaped his life choices?
8:29–1:01:04
5
What crazy stories does Joey share about nicotine‑beer, coke, and bike troubles?
1:01:04–1:09:20
6
How do the hosts recount wild Greyhound bus experiences?
1:09:20–1:33:50
7
What family and childhood memories does Joey reveal, including his mom and early hustles?
1:33:50–1:53:27
8
What are Joey’s current plans for Austin, comedy, recovery, and future goals?
1:53:27–1:59:33