Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

Toni and Ryan

The Worst Invention Of All Time

12 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.824 - 2.486 Ryan Jon

I'm so fucking stupid.

0

2.907 - 14.243 Erin

I can't with a fucking... And then you get there and you shake it like a fucking... Hey, this is Erin and Odin from Cranbourne, Australia.

0

14.463 - 16.506 Katie

Hi, I'm Katie from Norwood, Canada.

0

16.766 - 30.325 Gemma

Hi, my name is Gemma from Bristol in England and I approve this podcast.

0

34.574 - 45.648 Toni Lodge

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Dr. Author, best-selling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge, who's clicking. Welcome to... Tony and Ryan. I'm Ryan. Tony's wearing a Tony and Ryan hat.

46.009 - 49.293 Ryan Jon

Which will be available for purchase at the Hen's Party.

49.473 - 55.681 Toni Lodge

As well as a one-night-only Tony's Hen's Party tote bag next Tuesday.

55.721 - 57.324 Ryan Jon

It's very soon.

57.464 - 63.872 Toni Lodge

Yep. This Friday night, we'll see you in Dublin. There are no tickets left. I'm sorry, Irish tapas. Soz. Soz about that.

Chapter 2: What are the best days of the week for sex according to the survey?

207.649 - 215.427 Ryan Jon

Would you like me to? Well, Torbs goes, oh, I just had a Google and you can get these hot microwavable socks.

0

215.66 - 218.947 Toni Lodge

Torbs, idiot. Any socks are microwavable with the right attitude.

0

218.967 - 234.04 Ryan Jon

Well, that's very true. I think these ones were, you know, like a fit for purpose. No, I appreciate the sentiment. But he was like, oh, we actually should probably get you something to put on because, fuck, I cannot believe it. I just didn't even think.

0

234.02 - 236.324 Toni Lodge

When we're in Dublin, real fucking soon.

0

236.344 - 236.965 Ryan Jon

Very soon.

237.045 - 238.868 Toni Lodge

We are going to go swimming at 40 foot.

238.948 - 239.609 Ryan Jon

At 40 foot, yeah.

239.649 - 243.015 Toni Lodge

And I believe Charles and I checked the water temp. It's currently 11 degrees.

243.035 - 244.537 Ryan Jon

Yes, I think we shared that on the show.

Chapter 3: How does weather impact physical health and pain?

355.972 - 367.065 Ryan Jon

And I've had the shock of my life because I never had, like I don't have any rods or plates anywhere else my first time. And like it's really been a shock. That fucking fine print, I get you every time.

0

368.125 - 369.227 Toni Lodge

Let's get those socks.

0

369.487 - 371.13 Ryan Jon

I got to get the fucking hot socks.

0

371.17 - 372.392 Toni Lodge

Let's get, child.

0

372.512 - 375.137 Ryan Jon

Even right now, just only in a sneaker, I can feel it.

375.357 - 386.055 Toni Lodge

Where can we put a microwave? Is there a microwave that's powered by a USB-C cable so we can have one in the car? Because if we drive to 40 foot and go, oh, put it in the microwave. Well, we don't have a fucking microwave when we're down to the coast.

386.175 - 389.04 Ryan Jon

Oh, my God. So true. I was about to say, I'll put it in my bra, but I'll be wet.

389.962 - 391.905 Toni Lodge

So wet. And then you'll go for a swim.

393.472 - 398.82 Ryan Jon

I'm really excited about swimming at 40 foot, though. Even the water temperature, that can't put me off. That's amazing.

Chapter 4: How do personal experiences shape opinions on umbrellas?

652.714 - 653.035 Ryan Jon

Yeah.

0

653.636 - 655.398 Toni Lodge

Like the other would distract from the other.

0

655.418 - 655.699 Ryan Jon

Yeah.

0

656.139 - 657.361 Toni Lodge

Both great together.

0

657.381 - 659.524 Ryan Jon

Both great, but just need their own time.

659.544 - 660.125 Toni Lodge

Over-stimulating.

660.526 - 661.147 Ryan Jon

Charles agrees.

662.308 - 664.452 Toni Lodge

Charles is like, hmm. Should I touch it there?

664.472 - 665.834 Ryan Jon

And I go, ball!

Chapter 5: What humorous anecdotes arise from the discussion of umbrellas?

666.355 - 667.616 Ryan Jon

On the balls. Yeah, okay.

0

667.636 - 671.642 Toni Lodge

No. The wizards just tackled something.

0

671.662 - 672.684 Ryan Jon

You want my wizard sleeve?

0

673.205 - 673.345 Toni Lodge

Pussy.

0

674.366 - 674.747 Ryan Jon

Pussy.

676.195 - 680.602 Toni Lodge

Isn't the term wizard sleeve just really fucking, just really.

680.622 - 688.335 Ryan Jon

Okay. Do you want to know what's more upsetting? Just really upset. And no one could have planned it. Like no one on planet earth could have planned where this was going.

688.375 - 693.924 Toni Lodge

Tony has a sleeve of a wizard.

694.104 - 701.656 Ryan Jon

I'm wearing like a bell sleeve top. And if I go right down the barrel of the camera there, you can see right into my wizard sleeve.

Chapter 6: What are the benefits of using a drive-thru for food?

779.234 - 781.238 Ryan Jon

They're one for you. You like a Golden Gay Time.

0

781.298 - 781.879 Toni Lodge

And I have not.

0

781.899 - 783.041 Ryan Jon

I find them too soggy.

0

783.141 - 787.77 Toni Lodge

Completed the Golden Gay Time. Thus, I am mid-Golden Gay Time.

0

787.79 - 788.772 Ryan Jon

Mid-gay. Yep.

789.747 - 809.144 Toni Lodge

There is nothing you can say, do, suggest that will have any influence or impact on me as a person because I am so not listening. I am so not concentrating. I am not absorbing new information. You know when we got a colonoscopy and they said, don't make a big decision in the next 24 hours? Don't present me with new data mid-gay time.

809.164 - 813.488 Ryan Jon

Yeah. No, that's good intel for people if they ever see you on the street in the gay time.

813.508 - 815.29 Toni Lodge

Well, we're about to hit the streets and you know.

815.53 - 819.754 Ryan Jon

Just wait a minute until I'm done. Is a golden gay time only Aussie though?

Chapter 7: What surprising interactions occur between podcast listeners?

879.846 - 883.591 Ryan Jon

Yeah. Oh, well, that's out of hell. Oh, that makes sense. All of a sudden, it's all good.

0

884.292 - 895.406 Toni Lodge

The day you are least likely to have sex in the type community. With just 4% of load shot on a Monday. Monday, 4%.

0

895.606 - 895.806 Ryan Jon

Yep.

0

897.068 - 904.602 Toni Lodge

The second least, Thursday, 5%. Tuesday, 6%.

0

Chapter 8: What are the future plans for the podcast and events?

906.826 - 912.777 Toni Lodge

Wednesday, 7%. So, it's still pretty low numbers. All midweek, real low. People aren't doing it during the week anymore.

0

912.897 - 914.56 Ryan Jon

Busy.

0

914.58 - 921.553 Toni Lodge

Compared to the last time we took this survey. Oh, I think I'm compared to like when you're 22, you're just throwing it in at any time.

0

921.733 - 922.354 Ryan Jon

Well, but...

0

922.57 - 931.202 Toni Lodge

Every day is a weekend when you're in your early 20s and you just, you can't get your hands off each other. You're so fucking horny and your chemicals are just like, let's fucking do it.

931.222 - 934.366 Ryan Jon

And if you're in a relationship, you're fucking all the time. Yeah. Yeah.

935.147 - 942.858 Toni Lodge

Because I guess at the time, like if someone goes, oh, you don't really do that during the week, you'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Or you're not going to want to do that on a weekday.

943.299 - 944.28 Unknown

Well, yeah.

944.56 - 953.734 Toni Lodge

Then what am I doing? Or you just kind of go to work and you come home and have a schnitzel and go to bed. I mean, that sounds great. That's actually just described my perfect day.

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.