Top Flight Time Machine

Life Logistics - Lampard Teacher

14 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

'Following policy,' a lamp wrangle, a private tip, tooth dust, a danger wall, and a lost fox. (Rec: 8/12/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www...

Top Flight Tune Machine - 04/11/1977 Part 1

12 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Threats from Abba, a hospital record stall, a big fish round at Pancho’s, and memories of going to a gig. (Rec: 6/12/20)Join the Iron Filings Societ...

Alley Chat

12 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Russian garages, alleys, a bush woman, footballer aggression, and a disgusting bowl.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflightti...

Favourite Bowl

10 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Kitchen chat, cat interventions, and stupid travel plans.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine Hosted on Acast. ...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 80

09 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Roy subs himself off, heads to the nick, solves his own attempted murder, and then heads back before the end of the match. (Rec: 10/12/20)Join the Iro...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 20

08 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Misdelivered toilet rolls, an accidental horn-parp, Beeping Timmy, a pub gang, and how to write a book. (Rec: 9/12/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: h...

Life Logistics - Dickensian Dream Solicitor

07 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A bit of dream chat, some doctor-shaming, grudge requests, and wrapping paper annoyances. (Rec: 15/12/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.pa...

Crazy Golf Clash

06 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Girls Aloud, Gulliver, the Prince Charles walk, Turbo badges, and Sam tries to get himself arrested.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon...

Hammers Meet Hipsters

03 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The Abba comeback, a weird Bjork gig, and VR Brown John possibilities.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine Host...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 79

01 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We discuss Britain’s diminishing wall numbers, Roy wades into the crowd again and drops a ‘habeas corpus’, and Blackie worries about a liaison w...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 19

01 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Quentin Blake’s colouring-in failures, the fireplace precedent, Roald Dahl’s big sandal, and more.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patre...

Life Logistics - Deep Fat Frying

31 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sleeping, the royal family, covid dating locations, and an indecent Premier Inn proposal.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topfli...

Top Flight Tune Machine - 28/02/1988 Part 2

30 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Why Sam hates Johnny Hates Jazz, more American Trousers, rock ‘n roll, duetting with Alexander O’Neal and teenage feminism. (Rec: 22/11/20)Join th...

There’s Nothing Bigger Than Turbo

30 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A new IFS offering, the dead pop stars pyramid, a sad closure, and a shed office crisis.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflig...

RIP Dave Harper

27 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Europa League draw fever and we tribute to our mate.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine Hosted on Acast. See a...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 78

26 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Roy’s amazing ear, continental players doing fighting and biting, celebrity interviewing, and Trevor Brinsden in peril. (Rec: 26/11/20)Join the Iron...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 18

25 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Masks, Shergar, Diana, pyramids, ‘The Irish’, Dahl’s team of nurses and his complex business affairs. (Rec: 25/11/20)Join the Iron Filings Socie...

Life Logistics - School Run Goose

24 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Anxious pets, streaming TV rated, Christmas cash for kids, and second-guessing wives. (Rec: 24/11/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreo...

The Nature Of Taste

23 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Consuming matter, dragon eggs, Big Salt strikes again, ignoring calls, and ant/monkey TV.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topfli...

Posting A Beard To The Queen

20 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Radio 4, Lebanon hostage biscuits, a card shuffler plea, and a postcode boast.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemach...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 77

19 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Roy returns to the pitch and reflects on his father, we have a Swedish TV tip and go in two-footed on ‘The Crown’, and Trevor Brinsden lets his mo...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 17

18 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A milk spillage, how Hitler REALLY died, The Twits’ influence on The Jam, and the dark ending of this book. (Rec: 18/11/20)Join the Iron Filings Soc...

Life Logistics - Brown John

17 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Our new TV show idea, weighted blankets, hot bodies, and more cat stuff. (Rec: 17/11/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflig...

It’s Not Trifle Without Sherry

16 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Some jaded Covid activity, fighting the maskless, the horror of boarding school, and a toxic osteopath.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patr...

Top Flight Tune Machine - 28/02/1988 Part 1

15 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Fear of the pop blob, Neighbours, driving six hours to slag off the radio, The Roxy, and some facts that are probably wrong. (Rec: 8/11/20) Join the I...

Assorted Bird Frenzy

13 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Fence power-playing, dream chat, the horrors of abroad, a human car, Gordon Bucket, and lazy man-widowing.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.p...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 76

12 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A 1960s flashback, and Roy’s comeback is halted by talk of music centres, catalogues and buying old stuff that we don’t need. (Rec: 12/11/20) Joi...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 16

11 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A treehouse, a flat-selling power play, an arson threat, and Roland Bird goes to Sainsbury's. (Rec: 11/11/20) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://...

Life Logistics - Blobby Forever

10 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Manference developments, vegan Christmas, a nut allergy near-tragedy, teapots, and Andy’s dishwasher hell. (Rec: 10/11/20)Join the Iron Filings Soci...

Approved Lamparding

09 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

More frogs, The Six Million Dollar Man doll, making a car, an alternative flat, and a self-policing Luton pub. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://...

Ex-Boss Driveway Request

06 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Business cards, Kipper Jackson, Michael Barrymore, a holiday drug offer and Florida gun fear.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/to...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 75

05 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Bush meat, Phil Collins, Roy gets tested by a German doc, and Penny wants justice as the net closes again. (Rec: 5/11/20)Join the Iron Filings Society...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 15

04 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sam’s water glass agony, derelict laundries, the function of the heart, and Roald Dahl is back on the skunk. (Rec: 4/11/20) Join the Iron Filings S...

Life Logistics - Drug Tablet Attitudes

03 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

X Factor, the maddest two minutes of TV ever, Scouse dumps, Nigella Lawson, and Gordon Ramsay. (Rec: 3/11/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://ww...

Sausage Talc

02 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Our open prison dreams revived, a semi-legal Thames ferry, hospital skiving, and a meat pie barber.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon....

Humans Of Honour/The Reset - Seth Meyers

01 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We felt that Sam's recent interview with US comedy legend Seth Meyers for his 'The Reset' series was also worthy of 'Humans Of Honour' status - so her...

Literary Drones

30 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Garden party, private detectives, zoo chat, time travel, Love Island, and Sparks. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttim...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 74

29 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Tiger-based work, Rovers get reckless, a Guardiola takedown, Sir Alf returns, and the net of justice closes. (Rec: 29/10/20) Join the Iron Filings Soc...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 14

28 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The late 80s rave scene, the folly of BBC podcasting, and cultural snobbery. Approximately 0.006% Twits. (Rec: 28/10/20)Join the Iron Filings Society:...

Life Logistics - Hot Body

27 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Lots of bed and bedroom-related problems solved, and also the rules about swearing. (Rec: 27/10/20) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon...

Chopping Wood

26 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Holiday games rooms, a paddling pool shock, a surprise rake, and a nightmare neighbour. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topfli...

Top Flight Tune Machine – 18/02/1987 Part 2

25 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ben Vol-au-vent Parrot, Andy Warhol, premature baldness, a defence of Jamiroquai, better languages and a UB40 superfan. (Rec: 18/10/20)Join the Iron F...

Dogs And Swords

23 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Squandering money, losing stuff, a classic stray man, good guys of Barnes, and unusual smoking.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 73

22 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Jack Charlton schools Sue Lawley, the decline of steam, Duncan McKay’s parenting thoughts, and a psycho PE teacher. (Rec: 22/10/20) Join the Iron Fi...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 13

21 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Steve Jobs’ original iPhone plans, pub ashtrays, 1980s Tory cuts, tortoises and Dahl vs Blue Peter. (Rec: 21/10/20) Join the Iron Filings Society: h...

Life Logistics - Rogue Cockerel

20 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The nature of cults, pancake prison, body image, cat theft, and rip-off publishing. (Rec: 20/10/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon....

Seagull Blood On The Ottoman

19 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A mailbag delve, unleashing your inner kid, three courses of ravioli, targeted wasps, and asking people stuff.  Join the Iron Filings Society: ht...

Storming Parkhead

16 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Holiday plans, a silent retreat, an ill-advised flight booking, and more of Roger Taylor’s consumer tips. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://ww...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 72

15 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

An underwhelming surprise, plans for a set-up, a golden ball, garden potato fun, and Rovers get carried away. (Rec: 15/10/20)Join the Iron Filings Soc...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 12

14 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Dark money in British politics and a 17-minute monologue by the Roly-Poly Bird. (Rec: 14/10/20) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com...

Life Logistics - Collymore v Ice

13 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Bros on Ethiopia, why toffs run reality TV, David Beckham gets tricked, pies, bridges, and sexy fridges. (Rec: 13/10/20)Join the Iron Filings Society:...

Our Laughing Boy King

12 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Fatherly advice, river talk, seaside drills, and England stuff.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine Hosted on A...

Top Flight Tune Machine - 18/02/1987 Part 1

11 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

American trousers, dressing like the rappers, Geordie Jeans, our live singing history and podding for ghosts. (Rec: 4/10/20)Join the Iron Filings Soci...

Samajesty’s Going To Dover

09 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

England, Covid, a costume, a hired bus, online campaigning, and Diana’s statue. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttime...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 71

08 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Roy and Sir Alf finally meet, we ponder the human mind, the net closes, and there’s no team talk. (Rec: 8/10/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 11

07 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Roald Dahl smokes something he shouldn’t round the back of The Feathers and hires a giraffe. (Rec: 7/10/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://ww...

Life Logistics - Cooking Therapy

06 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A lazy colleague, a probation period fail, reach and wash feedback, a weird farming rant, and Netflix etiquette. (Rec: 6/10/20)Join the Iron Filings S...

Peanuts For Breakfast

05 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Some England football content, the power of salt, and we solicit your feedback.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemac...

Sam’s Balls

02 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

England indifference vs dressing up as a crusader. Also, erm… Sam’s balls.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemach...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 70

01 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Roy is disgustingly fit, there’s a bit of Basran, a jetty opening, a sex reference, and Red Plane vs Yellow Plane. (Rec: 1/10/20)Join the Iron Filin...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 10

30 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The Twits head off for guns, there’s some Ask Attenborough, the Roly Poly Bird explores the shed, and the monkeys reveal their plan. (Rec: 30/9/20)J...

Life Logistics - Thanks For Hands, God

29 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Michael Barrymore raps, working from home, cockerels, reach and wash, and cross-pod eyebrow chat. (Rec: 29/9/20) Join the Iron Filings Society: h...

Adult Chases

28 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Spy doorbells, hiding, cowardice and the Matt Hancock saga is assessed.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine Hos...

Top Flight Tune Machine - 20th May 1998

27 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A rotten, rotten top 40, violent plants, some Britpop squabbling, and Anthony Kiedis visits Sunderland to hunt down Andy. (Rec: 20/9/20)Join the Iron ...

The Swedish Swan Man

25 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Simulcharging, knee-squeezing, living for content, local characters, and tree murder.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflightt...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 69

24 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Terrible colleagues, Terry Mac and a massive cake, the magic of trimphones, Rovers visit Roy, and there’s an airport swoop. (Rec: 24/9/20)Join the I...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 9

23 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Having a cold, Dahl’s chapter targets, why Mr Twit is like John Lennon, Sam’s gorgeous new neighbour, and art arousal. (Rec: 23/9/20)Join the Iron...

Life Logistics - Parenting And Murder

22 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Probably one of the most depressing episodes we’ve ever done. (Rec: 22/9/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemach...

Jazz Confession

21 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Father’s Day solitude, Souness steel, and what’s wrong with the English?Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachin...

A Day Of Life And Death

18 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The Argonaut Octopus, post-coital moods, a rollercoaster 24 hours, and Vialli’s facial adornment.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon....

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 68

17 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Hardly any Melchester and a terrible ending, plus Sue Lawley, coxing, and the Cockney Hospital. (Rec: 17/9/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://w...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 8

16 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Screwing the banks, monkey weddings, more Dahl v Amis, backstreet vasectomies, and the Roly Poly Bird goes up the pub. (Rec: 16/9/20) Join the Ir...

Life Logistics - Coffee With A Soap Legend

15 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sam’s amazing morning, pale girls, house-selling preparation, wild oven-buying frenzies, sky law, and foreign babies. (Rec: 15/9/20)Join the Iron Fi...

Cracking Days Out

14 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Some football talk, the TFTM tour schedule, the tree surgeon visits, and a shocking revelation. Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreo...

Top Flight Tune Machine - 28/12/1994 - Part 2

13 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Takeaways, teenage girls’ opinions, Jimmy Nail, The Big Breakfast, Sam pits two TV channels against each other, and dirty gravity. (Rec: 6/9/20)Join...

Sam & Andy’s Football Zone

11 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sheriffs, our TV series plans, butter, spiders, and Euro 2020 predictions.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine ...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 67

10 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Who are the Marks Brothers? Also, beefing YouTubers, Rovers chase down a record, and Sir Alf makes a speech. (Rec: 10/9/20)Join the Iron Filings Socie...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 7

09 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Entrepreneurship, mystical yogi people, the Puffin Club, Ron Dahl’s war on the censors, and a TFTM hero appears in the book. (Rec: 9/9/20)Join the I...

Life Logistics - Ghost Rights

08 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sleeping, toilet unblocking, cat tax discs, accidental noncing, cloud-thrusting, and David Attenborough’s knees. (Rec: 8/9/20)Join the Iron Filings ...

Bring Back Ashtrays

07 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Family camping hell, getting a tab, our candle plans, and Southgate’s psychedelic selections.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/...

The Magna Banta

04 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Graffiti, gangs, college culture, having a night out, celeb selfies, and a Wayne Rooney opinion.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 66

03 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Roy wakes up and the Rovers are spurred on as Sir Alf plans his future. Meanwhile Blackie gets emotional again, and we encounter a rugby doctor. (Rec:...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 6

02 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Is Quentin Blake top dollar or laddy? And is this a bird protection podcast now? (Rec: 2/9/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/t...

Life Logistics - Freeze Everything

01 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Arm sleep positions, van advice, a massive tin of beans, and the nose-to-tail con. (Rec: 1/9/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreo...

A New Chair

28 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Week off plans, Andy’s flesh, Madness love, and not much else.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine Hosted on ...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 65

27 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sir Alf’s gap year, stolen tracksuits and eye-popping tactics, plus police racism and a bedside development. (Rec: 27/8/20)Join the Iron Filings Soc...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 5

26 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Personal hygiene tips from Jesus, Mark Chapman’s teeth, Hercules Syndrome, and some stuff about The Twits. (Rec: 26/8/20)Join the Iron Filings Socie...

Life Logistics - Jazz Logistics

25 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Minimalism, physical goods v ‘the cloud’, food waste recycling, and golden time. (Rec: 25/8/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.pat...

The Invention Of Fighting

24 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Cauldrons, the nine Chinese fighting techniques, sex handkerchiefs, and some fresh pharmacy trouble.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon...

Top Flight Tune Machine - 28/12/1994 Part 1

23 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Brian Harvey’s jacket potato nightmare and the connection between pickling and George Formby. (Rec: 23/8/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: http...

The King Of Digging

21 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A swingball routine, clambering up velvet, a civilising challenge, and prediction mayhem.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topfli...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 64

20 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Erotic drawings, Batman returns, Roy lingers, and Sir Alf espouses the joy of travel. (Rec: 20/8/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 4

19 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Shrinking, the benefits of an iron ring, stretched wife insurance, and a nice adoption story. (Rec: 19/8/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www...

Life Logistics - Cheese Scones Everywhere

18 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Swearing kids, Roger Taylor’s broadband, socks, films, and sleep clinics. (Rec: 18/8/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/...

Jesus vs The Triffids

17 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Len’s podcast, rigcraft, school summer fairs, and our displeasure with some of you.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflightt...

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 63

13 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sir Alf considers the Moon and the downsides of fame, Duncan McKay gets angry about Zippy, the crowd explain corners, and Roy reaches for something so...

The Twits Odyssey - Part 3

12 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The link between Dahl and Jacko, the genius that was Rod Temperton, the mystery of frogs, and some stuff about The Twits. (Rec: 12/8/20)Join the Iron ...

Life Logistics - Shut My Body Down

11 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Slothful sobriety, news from the cat community, fantasy radio, working class ad men, the trouble with in-laws, and back hair. (Rec: 11/8/20)Join the I...

The Henny Lenry Room

10 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Imaginary groups, Glasgow dreams, a Pips revelation, when Mexican stand-offs go wrong, and two gearsticks.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.p...

Top Flight Tune Machine - 08/02/1978

09 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Dodgy song topics from Macca and Rod, the mighty Bee Gees, and the less-mighty BBC Orchestra. (Rec: 9/8/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https:/...