Show notes
Rejection in sales comes with the territory. When you're trying to sell something, people will often say no. They'll tell you they don't need it, don't want it, can't use it. And by the way, "why are you bothering me about this?" While rejection in sales is a given, we don't have to take it personally.
Hi, and welcome to the podcast today, cohost Chris Templeton and I will be talking about rejection -- why it's inevitable in sales, but why we also don't need to take it personally. Welcome Chris.
Chris: Hi David. You know, in sales we've all been rejected at some point. Unless we're brand new, then rejection just hasn't happened yet. But rejection hurts, you know, it feels so personal.
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So how do you recommend that we don't take it personally?
David: It can be hard because very often we do. And you'd mentioned new sales people, those who haven't been rejected yet. The first time it happens, it's like what? What do you mean? No? It's hard to understand. And it is easy to take personally.
But if the prospect really doesn't need what it is that we have to offer, then there's nothing personal about that. It's simply a matter of we're saying, Hey, we have this thing. I have this thing. I think this could really help you. They look at it, they say, no, I don't think it can help me. There's nothing personal in that. It's essentially at that point, transactional. You're looking at something that you think has tremendous value. They're looking at it. They don't see the value yet.
Now, in a sales conversation, sometimes you can flip that around and they'll begin to see the value and they may end up thinking, "okay, yeah, I do want to do this," and that's really where a lot of sales comes in. Sales, in quotes, the thing that we define as sales, which is helping people to see the advantages and see the benefits and want to take action on it.
But ultimately, whether they decide to do it or whether they decide not to do it, it's not personal. It's not about you're a bad person because they didn't want to buy it or they didn't see the value. It's merely a matter of not having a great fit.
Some prospects make it personal
Chris: But David, some prospects make it personal. They can be rude. They can be apathetic, obnoxious, insulting. How is that... I mean, I'm getting a little bummed out just thinking about it. How is that not personal?
David: Yeah, you can really get worked up with this stuff. Well, it's true and there are people who are like that. If somebody is rude or what'd you say? Obnoxious? Apathetic? If they're insulting you, yeah, that's a totally different thing. But really that's about them, right? If they're coming to you with an attitude like that or if you're going to them, and this has happened so many times, throughout my sales career, where you meet somebody, you think there should be a good fit, you start talking to them and then they just come back at you with this horrible personality or this horrible set of character traits and in the beginning you're like, "Oh my gosh, it's just something I did wrong. Did I say something incorrectly? Am I messing this up?" And ultimately after you've been doing this for a while, you realize that no, it's really about them.
Rude, obnoxious and insulting should be instant disqualifiers
David: People who are that obnoxious and so rude, belligerent and all that sort of thing. That is a personality trait in them. That's something that is endemic to them. It doesn't reflect on you at all. And the way that they feel about us, their approach, if they can't stand me or whatever, that's their issue. That's not my issue. And I think we want to sort of resist the urge to try to change our personality to suit the moods of poor quality prospects. We definitely don't want to do that. If somebody is a poor quality prospect, they're going to react negatively. They're going to have that sort of approach. And I would say that when somebody comes back at you like that, they're really just disqualifying themselves. Because if somebody is rude and obnoxious when you're just trying to qualify them to see if they're a good fit, imagine how awful they'll be if they actually had an order in with you and they're waiting for it to arrive or whatever. Or imagine even worse what it's like to try to get paid from somebody like that after they've already gotten the goods.
Being Defensive vs. Being Obnoxious
Chris: Absolutely. And from my perspective, assuming that I didn't misbehave as the salesperson, you hit it right on the head. This person is not a prospect for me. If they're behaving that way, why in the world would I want to have a client that was that unpleasant? There are a lot of people who, when they feel they're in a sales situation, are automatically defensive. And I think it was a salesperson. You've gotta be sensitive to that and hopefully be able to diffuse that. But if that's not the case and they are just that nasty... man, oh man, it is time to move on, isn't it?
David: Yeah. And you drew a good distinction there. There's a big difference between being defensive and being obnoxious. If you're defensive because you're not sure, or if you're uncertain about something that's very different than being openly rude or obnoxious. And so, as salespeople, we have to be able to listen for the difference.
Is the question they're asking, is the thing that they're saying, designed to gather more information or is it designed to end the conversation because they just want no part of it, right? Cause if they don't want any part of it, then yeah, they've disqualified themselves.
Chris: Absolutely. You know, a lot of sales training is about overcoming objections and is that also supposed to help overcoming rejection?
Overcoming Objections is Overrated
David: That's a good question. I think in some cases overcoming objections is really overrated. When we're in a position where we have to overcome a lot of objections, it's because we didn't properly lay the groundwork. But when I think about objections in sales, when we have to overcome them, it's normally about overcoming objections that are related to product features or benefits or applicability. Am I going to be able to use this product? It's not about overcoming insults. It's not about trying to overcome attacks to your personality, attacks to your character. So I think that's where we also have to draw the line is to recognize that when somebody is objecting potentially about a product and they're essentially asking for more information, "well how's this going to work if I have this situation or that situation?" That's really a request for more information. That's "tell me how I'm wrong here. Tell me what I'm missing." So that's a request for information, which is very different from "your product stinks, you stink, why are you in my office?" That type of thing.
Chris: "Get out, quick!"
Don't Let Their Self-Esteem Issues Become Yours
David: Exactly. I don't want to get too deep into the psychology of this because I am not at all qualified to do this, but I think it really boils down to self esteem issues. You could be talking to somebody who just has really bad self esteem and the only element of control they're going to have in their day is to shut you down and get you out of their office. And the trouble is that if we don't recognize that, then it can impact OUR self esteem. We can think, "Oh, maybe I'm not good enough." You also touched on something important earlier that I sort of took for granted and I shouldn't, which is that we as salespeople are doing a good job now if we're not, if we're doing a terrible job and if we're not representing our product well and if we're not speaking intelligently to our prospects, if we're not qualifying them correctly, we need to get all that stuff in place first. Because it's entirely possible that the success or the failure of the sales call could very well be on us. Maybe they could have been interested, maybe they would have been interested if we had taken the right approach. What I'm saying though is if, assuming we're taking the right approach with all this stuff, if somebody does get obnoxious or if they are getting beyond just questions about how it might apply to them, that sort of thing, that's when we have to look at drawing a line and saying, "okay, I'm happy to work with you if it makes sense, but if it doesn't, let's figure that out sooner rather than later."
Chris: And really, if I've got somebody who is that testy and I say, "you know what? This just doesn't seem like it's a good fit for you and I don't want to create a situation that you're uncomfortable with." A lot of times just saying that if they're kind of being defensive because they think they're in a sales situation, that, a lot of times we'll diffuse it and if it doesn't, then you know that it's time to move on. Acknowledging that you understand that the person's in a place that doesn't serve anybody can go a really long way. Can't it?
Not Every Prospect Deserves an Appointment
David: Yeah, it really can. I was having a conversation earlier today with one of our clients, who was talking about this idea of setting appointments versus qualification. In other words, they were talking about how part of their training was all about getting appointments. And my view is that not everybody deserves an appointment. Not everyone is entitled to an appointment.
We don't always want to go for the appointment, until we've actually qualified someone. Because if we don't take the time to qualify them and we go for the appointment, you're visiting with them, you're having an appointment and there's no way they're going to be able to buy anything. So you're far better off doing your qualifying up front. Deciding, do they have the need, the desire, the money, the budget, the willingness to spend? Are they pleasant to deal with?