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Chapter 1: What personal responsibilities does Rob Schneider discuss?
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Mexican waiter was really nervous.
And I said, you know, are you okay? You know, these are the guys we want here in this country.
People working hard. Then he completely fucked up our order. And I was like, get this guy out of here, you know? You can't fuck up lunch. That's the most important meal of the day. As soon as I got the check, I called ICE.
And at table 47, gotta get over here.
I'm a conservative. Well, I mean, I'm a 90s liberal, which makes me a right-wing fascist now, right?
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Chapter 2: How does Rob Schneider define his political stance as a 90s liberal?
Whereas Americans, you like your power chords, you know? It's a hammer.
But I think I like the subtlety of both. You know, when you could... I like telling a joke where I'm... The best thing for me when I'm doing stuff is, like, is to let the audience go, I just want to get this out of my way first, to get the joke in.
You know, and I go, like, you know, it's good to be back in California, but, like, I had to move because, you know, I got little kids, and it's dangerous to have kids in public school. You know, in California, you know, in the morning you drop off a girl, in the afternoon you pick up a boy. So you just kind of get to it. And then, you know, the subtleties of it...
And again, in the same way, you know, you just, you get them off balance as best you can. But I'm definitely influenced by that English humor and the way that you could, it's, it's, hopefully it's a good combination of both. And standup is particularly just like jazz, which you guys stole from America and standup comedy, I believe, um,
you know, it originated, I guess you would call Mark Twain was the original standup humorist. And he would charge a dollar, because he also would, he would get rich and go broke. And then, you know, he, there was, you know, Ulysses S. Grant had cancer, was dying. And like, you know, back then they didn't give money to the former president.
So he helped him pen his autobiography so he could make money for his wife, pay for the farm, blah, blah, blah. And then he would go, blow all his money, come back, and then he'd get money again. by performing at like a town hall or something or a library. I don't know if there was a library. I'm just making that up. But he would charge a dollar to talk about faraway lands like Hawaii.
He had no idea they have over there. You gotta take several weeks to get out there. But now, like you guys can fly wherever you want and do the things. So for me, the nice joke that I could relate to was based on something that really happened. It was really fun. It was really fun. Listen to me.
but i was in vegas i was playing vegas and you know the um mgm grand which is a good gig on the strip that's a good one um and uh i had went out to lunch with the guys the band i'm working with and uh the mexican waiter was really nervous and i said uh you know are you okay and he said
And I felt terrible, you know.
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Chapter 3: What insights does Rob share about the current political climate?
I think so. And I think the audience is, I mean, I have to be careful of that too, you know, because I'm a conservative. Well, I mean, I'm a 90s liberal, which makes me a right-wing fascist now, right?
We all are.
God forbid we stick to those, you know, free speech and, you know, women's rights and things like that crazy stuff. So I have to be careful too that, you know, I don't fall into that easy trap of just, you know, throwing slop to the conservative, you know, masses, which is what kind of late night TV was. You know, the late night TV, you can, it's, there's no individual voices.
You can replace and go like, you know, Jimmy Kimmel could say the same joke as, you know, Seth Meyers. And then you can put like, you know, and then, you know, the other Jimmy can, so it doesn't, so they can have, they can have, It's the same thing. It's like, what is it? Where's the point? Is there any individual voices? Right. And it's just it's too easy. You never know.
McDonald, you know, saying during the pandemic, you know, easy. You make make make a joke about Trump. They'll just applaud. You know, you do that. You know, where's the you know, where's the danger there? And I do think it's it's definitely more fun, but it is more dangerous. You know, I mean. They're killing. There's violence happening. We have to have gun checks at comedy shows. Really?
Yeah, but why wouldn't you? I mean, we were talking not to change direction, but unfortunately we kind of have to. We were talking before we started about Charlie Kirk. I mean, that's one of the things that happens once we last saw you. Yes. And he was a friend of yours.
Charlie is irreplaceable. Charlie was such a... I mean, I honestly, as a comedian and as a humorist and as a real cynic, I think you have to be cynical to approach comedy. What's really behind that? So I would get these calls from him, from his organization, and then from him saying, you know, we want you to be involved in, you know, Turning Point. And I was like, what is this 28-year-old kid?
What's going to be something behind this? There's always something, you know, whatever. And... And I didn't realize what he had built. It's just this incredible organization of young people. If you want to change the future, or if you want to return the future to some traditional American values, Christian American values, then you've got to build an organization to remind people
What, what, what is the potential loss of not maintaining that? So I, I, I've learned, um, pretty quickly, I was still a little, um, you know, I'm still questioning it and going, I don't know what is it, but then I found it to be, um, really sincere and his, his, uh, his organization and his, uh, what his quest was, was to keep, um, you know, America, a, uh, a nation under God and, uh, and free.
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Chapter 4: How does Rob Schneider view the impact of comedy on societal issues?
It's like, come on. Isn't it that isn't the LBGTQ plus for Hamas protesting? You have to protest. Jerry Seinfeld, one of the greatest comedians who still doesn't have to do it, but he's still doing it because he loves it. So that's kind of a bummer. So we have that at the same time. But I do think that this friction and this stuff, I think the woke kind of thing is collapsing.
I think people are exposed to enough of it. So hopefully it'll usher in something new. I don't know what the new thing is. But, you know, it's been an interesting time. I would say the most interesting time of my lifetime for comedy. because there were people yelling at you, people like paying money to yell at you.
It was during COVID too, because COVID is, it was really cool because we have a republic over here. I strongly suggest you guys consider it. You break it, different states, you know, that way the states would have different rules. A lot of the states went along with it, but some states hung in there, you know? So I would go to a place and they would perform and they'd be like, you know,
You'd have to have somebody sitting not across from you or something. So they had half the comedy club. And so I would just perform in those places. And so those places closed down. And then believe it or not, it wasn't Americans. The reason that we got out of COVID, it wasn't the Americans that figured out the protesting again. It was the Canadians.
The Canadian truckers reminded Americans about protesting and a good protesting, protesting against actual tyranny, not this fake tyranny that these no kings paid protesters are the useful idiots. So but real protest against tyranny, which is what the covid lockdowns were. And these, you know, the truckers that went there, what did they do? They they literally closed their bank accounts.
And, you know, that seemed to be, you know, if that's not authoritarian, and calling them terrorists, that's pretty bad. But what it did, though, is it woke people up here in America to it, like, enough of this crap, which was good. So whether people like...
the um the coveted vaccine or not i mean obviously it has some problems and stuff it's not a vaccine it's a according to robert malone who invented the or co-invented the the therapy it's a it's an experimental gene therapy so you know forcing everybody to take an experimental gene therapy is not good but what it did though thomas cahill who was the designer of it uh who was asked by the trump administration he's a genius you got to meet thomas and he what it did was he gave an off-ramp
Like, hey, we got something. We can open up society now. Here we go. We got the jab. Let's go. So that gave an off-ramp to it. And I don't know if people will... It's interesting how the next... What is the next attempt at tyranny? But they've backed off this zero-carbon initiative. You don't hear about it anymore, right?
I mean, you do in our country. Yeah. It's actually an interesting situation because in the UK, the only people who still believe in it are the government. Yeah. No one else believes in it. But the government really, really believe in it. And actually, the worse things get, the more they believe in it.
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Chapter 5: What are Schneider's thoughts on the role of nationalism in America?
But then I get to the point where you can be manipulated to use this empathy for people who don't deserve it. And then I ask them to reconsider their right to vote. And then I say, no, no, no, there's still plenty of things to vote for. You can still vote. I'm not saying you can't vote. I'm just saying just not for the important things. But there's still plenty of things.
You can still vote for Dancing with the Stars, America's Got Talent, Britain's Got Talent, whatever. But the idea is just to challenge them a little bit and try to get them off. And then, you know, you take some ideas and then, you know, it's the idea is to poke them a little bit and see where they go. And so a lot of the women agree. A lot of the women, not all of them, a lot of them agree.
And then some people complain, but I think it's, I think it should be a well-constructed humorous argument. Yeah. Otherwise it's not, it's not fun. Yeah. So then it's nice that they agree. And sometimes I'll screw up. Sometimes I, I did not do my job by getting them there because it's still kind of new. And then you go like, you know, and then it's like, I got to kind of get them back, you know?
Yeah.
But it's a good challenge. And then you can... Wait, how do you get a woman back once you've pissed her off?
Because I haven't worked that one out my entire life.
I'm proof of that. Very painful. but it um it's fun though because you know there's some really interesting intellectuals and um like you know jordan peterson's been such a gift to the to the male spirit really and he had this wonderful thing that i talk about now on stage it's great because i'm not gonna have to interfere with his him doing stand-up but i can uh you know you talk to him and uh
I'll say, oh yeah, well, let me tell you, the women that we have today, we have, they're all survivors of the barbarian hordes that came in. And they all, the barbarians would come into the new armies, they'd kill all the men, cut their heads off. And they'd say, okay, we're going to cut your heads off or you want to come with us?
And the loyal women who got all their heads cut off, they stayed and died next to their husband. But the ones who said, I've always been interested in seeing Germany. Let's go. Those are the ones that survived. And I said, all the women here tonight in this audience, you are the survivors. You are the ones who left with the new husbands.
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Chapter 6: How does Rob Schneider address the concept of free speech?
Yeah, it's not that funny anymore, is it? No. Sorry to ruin it. Sorry. I'm not having to go to your joke, but it's like, it's kind of serious.
No, people go, yeah, that is. They go, oh, yeah. But it doesn't get like a – and maybe it shouldn't because there really was – that legislation went all the way to the Supreme Court. And the Supreme Court just last month said, no, no, no, no. Parents can raise their children the way that they want and not the school. It's not – you know, I didn't co-parent with the state.
But that's a thing. And then you come from another place, which is fun. It's a true story. It does happen. We have a big population here. And this crazy shit does happen. And I don't know why, specifically for women, maybe because their relationships aren't safe or whatever, but there are these women, fragile women, teachers, who have sexual relationship with their students. Mm-hmm.
Now, a woman just got arrested in New Jersey last week. And here's how I feel about that. In all seriousness, if a guy does it, takes advantage of a girl student, they should cut his wiener off and the wiener and him never get back together again. That guy kicked out of society. However,
if a female teacher decides to provide some extracurricular activity for her male students off school grounds. I just remember the 80s. You know, remember Hot for Teacher, that song. I remember every movie, you know, Weird Science. All the movies was about this. I just feel this way, you know, respectfully. I like that.
All I know is if my classmate called the cops before I got a chance to get my blowjob, I'd be pissed.
That's all. So... Do you know what? As a former teacher, I don't agree. Because she should be having sex with me.
Not the fucking kids. That's the way I feel about it. The other teachers, like the science guy, the gym coach. I was available. My dick was available. I was ready for it.
Yeah, that'll be the clip from this episode.
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Chapter 7: What challenges does Rob see in the current state of comedy?
But I do think it will, it's going to require some vigilance and some people to be proud and say, I'm proud of America. This is an incredible accomplishment. I mean, it really pissed me off when you go to like, a friend of mine called me, you know, producer, Hollywood producer. He calls me and he said, I got to tell you, I'm pissed off.
Can you talk to somebody in the Trump administration? Everybody thinks I can just talk. Oh yeah, I'll get on the phone. Can I talk to Trump? Hello, this is the Trump administration. If you're a conservative, you're like, can you get Trump on the phone? It's like, no, I can't. But he said, I was just at Monticello, Thomas Jefferson, the third president of the United States.
This guy, the Declaration of Independence is incredible. And here's what they say. The the the guide. He said, welcome to Thomas Jefferson's home, third president and slave owner. Like that's the second thing you say.
That's the second thing you say is that I think he did more than just that. So I do think we have to wrestle back our history. It's pretty darn good. I seem to remember Thomas Jefferson doing a lot more than just being a slave owner. I seem to remember him going to Paris and going to London and then deciding, looking around, going, hmm, I don't like the way these streets go.
Let's not do that in the States. He was an inventor as well.
Yeah.
Yeah. We're on a grid. When you drive back, you can thank Thomas Jefferson. You're going straight. I like the little... I do.
I like the little windy road.
Can I ask you a question? Yeah, go on. How terrible do you feel for the guys who had to learn the knowledge and then you don't have to anymore and it's all...
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