Chapter 1: What is the big news that Bern has to share?
Shut up.
The foot is on Triple M. Get ready. Am I on? Because the Saturday rub. Am I allowed to talk? Yeah. Starts now. It gets better with every listing.
We need some riz. Need drinks fast? Camel on down to Thirsty Camel Bottle Shops for unseriously good deals. Drink responsibly. For Ream Hot Water and McDonald's, Triple M. Rock sweet.
Oh, Saturday, here we are. North Melbourne and the Gold Coast Suns. That's coming up later, Marvel style. But before we get there, there's a bit to plough through. Fats here. Yes. He looks in better condition than he has the previous two weeks.
Look at my eyes.
You've obviously had a quiet one. I had a very quiet one with Nadal last night. I know. Oh, well. Yeah, quiet. The neighbours would say that. They thought it was very quiet, except for about 17 seconds. How are you, Purple? Oh, well, I actually heard something this morning that I've never heard before. Someone said these three words. Bird's got something. Oh, no! He's over there in Adelaide.
He's off Broadway over there. What's going on over there, Bernard?
I don't know. Can you hear me? I can hear you. You've got something, Bert. Yeah, I have got something, but I just... I love it. There's a big story brewing within our group.
A big story.
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Chapter 2: Who is Anthony Stevens and what role does he play in this episode?
That's why I've got to be very careful that I get it right.
You need to be very careful and accurate.
I hope you get it up, Ben. You need to be very accurate. Anthony Stevens is going to be in here. Yes. Because, of course, the Kangas play today and he's doing some great work with the Shane Ward. Bloody OPS, looking forward to that. I heard something. Oh, what did you hear? This morning when we were just sitting around. From Damo, if you don't mind. Oh, what was that?
So looking down the boxes and there's Adam Simpson. Yes, good man. You know what he said, Jim? I did a breakfast with Adam Simpson during the week. Like, big note yourself. I know how close Jim is with him. I'm just saying I did a breakfast with him. No, you're just dropping that you're doing breakfasts now. It's a pretty normal conversation to have pre-show. How'd the breakfast go?
It was a very good breakfast. How many turned up? Seven or eight. Seven or eight. Seven or eight. Very intimate. Like the time you went and sat on the table. Because there were only eight in the room. It was intimate. So what did you talk about, Jim? Any breaking news? Any new interviews with something running underneath? They like it when we go behind the scenes.
So what are you talking about behind the scenes? Well, Kane came up a bit. Kane came up a bit. Oh, yeah, you've had a big blue during the week. No, that was last week, wasn't it? Was it last week?
Yeah, last week. Last week's story.
Have you actually spoken or do you make up? Do you send a text saying this is good? No, no, we don't. It's fair dinkum, this one. Yep, it's been a long time since we've exchanged any form of civil word. What would happen if you bumped into each other at the back? Oh, we'd probably... nod and acknowledge. There'd be respect there.
Are you going to have a fight?
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Chapter 3: What insights does Anthony Stevens provide about North Melbourne?
It's come across a few of our desks. You on Channel 7 on Friday nights regularly go hungry because you get food supplied. Yes. But a teammate of yours in another medium sometimes comes in and takes the allotted food of your good self. And... He's got form in the space, Bill.
Oh, no.
I'm referring to Brian Taylor, who is usually on Friday nights working for the M's, doing a brilliant job on the M's. But somehow Jim manages to get himself off air at halftime of Triple M games on Friday night, goes into the Channel 7 part of the operations. So where he's not working on that. Knowing that Jim is on air at halftime and steals Jim's foot. I'll tell you what he does, Brian.
And he's been doing it for a long time. I'm glad you're outing him. Yes, good. He walks in, Bernard, because he's on radio, knowing two things. Firstly, that the seven box has been catered for at half-time on a Friday night. The catering is very good. And secondly, that we, Richo, Daisy and myself, have to exit the box to host somewhere else. Oh, beautiful. Good, Brian.
Betty Cuthbert at the MCG, which is down a level and a whole different hosting platform. With Betty. So by the time we get back after hosting halftime. He's gone. Food gone. So he's been in there.
He's been in there.
Not all of it. On the guise of to say hello to everybody.
Of course he is.
But while he's saying hello to people he couldn't give a stuff about, he's eating all of our food. I was going to say, how many times does Brian walk into somewhere and say g'day to people? So he takes the food. Food gone. Last night, a pie. One pie left. Tiny little party pie. So we had a drink stealer, and now we've got a food stealer. Food stealer. Bristol. Have you confronted him? Oh, on air.
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts engage with the audience during the quiz segment?
Are you ready to go? Come on, Ben. I think I've just received what I needed to.
No, you know you've got nothing. I have just received what I needed to. Now, Jim's big on, you know, people dagging around rooms and that. He always... And people walking out onto sporting arenas. You know, he's always having a crack at who's that. Who does he think he is? Who's on the green? Who's on the green? Get off. You're not part of this. Don't make it about yourself. Yes, yep. And, well...
Jeez, have I got some information for you. And this has happened in the last 24 hours. Hey, Jim. What? Be quiet. Turn him off. No. Because I don't want you answering yet.
What you've got is incorrect. You're good at doing this.
You're gaslighting. Shush. Yes, that's what he's trying to do. Two words. Put me down on a different path. Now, obviously the connection with Brad Scott, that's probably how he got in there because he doesn't do Channel 7 down there. What are you talking about?
Down in the Essendon rooms last night, confirmation not only down there, you know, talking about yourself and with all the players, making out your mates with them still and all this sort of garbage. He went from there into where no one's allowed to go, just players only. He went through there. and physios, doctors, shut the door. Now, I don't know what happened behind closed doors.
I haven't had confirmation of this, but he just laid down, apparently before the door was shut, laid down on the doctor's table. He had two physios and the doctor. Jim, Jim, this is true. This is true.
I have confirmation on it. We've got a massage burn. I don't know what happened.
Hang on, Jim. Is that it? That tip burn? Righto.
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Chapter 5: What are the latest updates on injuries in the AFL?
There's usually some truth in it. I'm just telling Burn for his own sake. Go back to your sources and get it right. Burn, don't wave it, mate. I have a document in my hand. He's been working hard on this. During the week on the front bar, it came to all of our attention that Will Minson, after 11 years at the Western Bulldogs, left in his locker a letter. That said, dear the next 27.
Wilmington's a ripping bloke, by the way. Good luck to you. He goes, wear this jumper with pride. I hope it brings you much joy and success. And buy yourself a coffee on me. And left money?
Left money.
Left money. So, I've done some deep diving into this exact practice. Yeah. Right. And I went down to the old Cardinia Park.
Did you? Yes.
And I have a letter in my hand.
What's your number?
This comes from the late 90s. And I'm going to read it. Oh, here we go. Jim. Doctor's. Dear number 16. Next number 16. You're obviously not that good, or they wouldn't have given you this shit number. Oh, shit. Remember these things, and you'll go, okay, Coco. Right. Get out of the way of the Ford that's clearly better than you. What else? You won't be able to fight, so don't think you can.
Bunny chop. You only play for Geelong for one reason, to do just well enough to get a drinks card at Lambie's on a Saturday night. All the lyrics. Forget about winning a flag. Buy your own coffee, you tight arse. Forget about winning a flag. I like this bit. This is my favourite bit of advice. And if you find two dingers in a blue packet, don't use them. They're out of date. Go Cats. Go Cats.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts analyze the performance of various teams?
I don't know who it was. Anyway. Moons? No, that's not right.
I've got the letter in my hand. What's not right about it?
Which bit's not right? Most of it's correct. But no, I didn't leave a letter. But I want to know about did you go into this room?
Confirmation. I want to go back. Another text.
Have you gone back and got your information right?
Yes.
No, my confirmation, my intel has doubled down.
Jim talking shit. Answer these questions.
Did you go into the bomber's room last night? Might have. Did you go into the doctor's or physio room? Might have. Did you go past the rope where only players are meant to go? I don't have ropes. Yes. So did you lie down on one of the benches? No. I didn't.
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Chapter 7: What humorous moments arise during the discussion?
So I said, all right, well, I need to see the doctor. He was in the team meeting, Jim. He's not here yet either. I might surprise you. So I didn't have the doctor or the coach. So I obviously have spent a lot of time in the FAT in my time. So I knew where the physio's room is. Oh, this is true. Yeah, it's okay. I walked in. One of the physios I knew, ball bloke. Yeah, what's his name?
I don't know. I said to him, my thumb's got this sort of clear fluid and shit coming out of it. I said, what do you reckon? Your bum or your thumb? All joints have got fluid come in them. That's why joints work. You've just got a little split and the fluid's coming out. No, he did a betadine wipe and wrapped it up and said, you're all good, and I walked out. The issue I had. Is that all it was?
That's all it was. Why couldn't you do that at home? That's confirmation.
Because I'm at the ground. That's confirmation. I was right.
But the issue I had is I think Big Brian, Matty Guelfy, Benny Mackay, they all saw me. And as soon as they saw me, I said, listen, you three. You say a word to anybody about what you've seen. You can't march into an AFL club with a little sore thumb. So one of them has lagged me.
It was wealthy.
He wasn't happy.
Who then said, I'm lying down. giving me treatment, which is completely wrong.
Well, I've got some more info that I didn't go with. Apparently it was pants off.
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Chapter 8: What is the final takeaway from this episode?
My mate of mine. But also... He's got music, drinks and nibbles provided. So go along tonight. You're just inviting anyone to Jamie's birthday. If you're listening, Beach Hotel, get in there, say happy birthday, Jamie, and you get a few frothies. Burn. That's the last time you're getting any room in the first break.
Admit it, Jim. That's how tough I am. Good content, Bud.
Yeah, lay down, pants off. Hang on, we're just looking at your thumb, aren't we? Anthony Stevens, River Stevens are going to come in in a sec, of course. North Melbourne Royalty, Nuff Nuff Quiz. Yes. Before we get to the Kangaroos and the Gold Coast Suns. For Thirsty Camel, this is the Triple M Saturday Rub from McDonald's in remote water. Triple M Rocks Footy.
Now you can stream the footy wherever you go. Download the Listener app and select Triple M. For rain, hot water and McDonald's. Triple M rocks footy. Triple M. Triple M Saturday Rub for Thirsty Camel. Need drinks fast? Camel on down to Thirsty Camel Bottle Shops for unseriously good deals. Drink responsibly. For rain, hot water and McDonald's. Triple M rocks footy.
Triple M. Saturday Arvo. And we are not far away from the North Melbourne Football Club taking on the Gold Coast Suns. Yes. Now, Fat. Yes, Jim. Bernie's here, Fat's here, Damo's here. You can say often about people I've known them for a long time when you probably haven't. No, but you do that a lot. I've known these folks. How far do we go back? For a very, very, very long time. Do you? How long?
Well, I reckon it was 1987. Wow. I went to my brother's joint in Moonee Ponds. Moonee Ponds. He was playing for North. Yes. Was it later than that, Star? 88, somewhere around there? Early 90s. No, it was earlier than that, and I turned up to Mark and Deborah's joint. It was 2020. And suddenly, I looked down the corridor.
Hello.
And there's this, well, at that stage you're only about 5'4", and about 48 kilos. A good six-pack, didn't I?
Had a great six-pack.
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