This week on Two Dykes and a Mic hosts McKenzie Goodwin and Rachel Scanlon discuss New Years Eve, kissing holidays, butch formalwear, work/wife balance, a pride success story, building a career, supporting queer artists, the stability of Bette and Tina, the gayest moments of 2024, holding space, 2025 manifesting, and so much more! Follow @TwoDykesAndAMic @MckGoodwin @RachelScanlonComedy TOUR TICKETS ON SALE : TwoDykesAndAMic.com Cardiff - 4/1 Brighton - 4/2 London - 4/4 Unlock Spotify https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/two-dykes-and-a-mic/subscribe Join Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/TwoDykesAndAMic Tickets to Rachel's solo stand up shows: https://www.rachelscanloncomedy.com/ Want to hear yourself on the podcast? Leave us a voicemail at (818) 540-1487 or write us at [email protected]
Chapter 1: Who are the hosts of Two Dykes and a Mic?
We are the greatest dykes in the world. Mackenzie Goodwin. Rachel Scanlon. Worldwide dykes for life. Hey! Two dykes, two dykes, two dykes. One mic, one mic, one mic, one mic. Yeah. Two dykes, two dykes. Who dykes, who dykes? We dykes, we dykes, we dykes. Yeah.
Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to another episode of Two Dykes and a Mic. I'm Mackenzie Goodwin.
And I'm Rachel Scanlina-Lee. We're so happy that you're here.
We are. This is a big, this is the day before 2025. Oh my God. Huge. This is our New Year's Eve episode. And boy, do we have a treat for you. We have an amazing guest today.
We have a huge, huge exciting guest. Yeah. Icon. Yeah. Queer legend. Yeah. My twan, if you will. Your twin. My twan. Also, if you're listening to this episode, make sure you get tickets to come see me on the road. I'm going to be touring January, February, March, and you're going to love it.
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Chapter 2: What are the New Year's Eve plans discussed?
And the cities are Minneapolis and Boston and Portland, Brooklyn, Philly, Atlanta, Nashville, Sacramento, San Francisco, Salt Lake City, March 6th, Boise, March 7th, Toronto, Buffalo, Vancouver, and Edmonton. So I'll be ending in Canada. Whoa. January, February and March. The first half of those cities are already starting to sell out. Unreal. So come check out a show.
You'll literally love it and you'll laugh your little face off. And then in April, you and I are going to be in the United Kingdom.
We're going to be in the UK. We have London, Brighton and Cardiff. And then we have a spring tour coming, which is all very exciting. We know we have not released the dates yet.
Yeah.
Unless we're edging them. Unless you see it on our Instagram. Then we have. We do already have Boston, Portland, Seattle. Yes. Booked. And those will sell out. Those will sell out. And we're in theaters.
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Chapter 3: What does New Year's Eve mean for the queer community?
Yes.
We're in theaters. And we have a bunch of other cities coming up. So stay tuned.
Stay twanned. And make sure you get those. Anyways, I want to talk just a brief second about New Year's Eve. Yeah. Because for the longest time, I think there's a lore of Christmas Eve. Oh, sorry. New Year's Eve. The lore of New Year's Eve is... How there's so much buildup for the straight community. Yeah. And then a gigantic letdown. Right.
I do find that to be the same as sex with straight, straight sex. I think that there's a lot of lore. There's a lot of like, you're going to want to do this. Do you know what I'm thinking of?
A lot of buildup. A lot of pomp. Yeah. A lot of circumstance. Right. A lot of I do this and then you do that, which is my my least favorite thing ever. Of all of heterosexuality is that I think that so many straight people are like playing the part that they believe they're meant to be playing. And that you see that played out on New Year's Eve. Now I have a question for you. For sure.
If you could rank the holidays, where would New Year's Eve land for you?
NYE is actually pretty high up there. And what is that? Why? I think because the way that it felt for me for a long time, closeted and otherwise, was you kind of have to get through the holidays as a queer person. New Year's Eve is where you're actually back with your actual community. So to me, I had already flown back home.
Because you're not New Year's Evening with your parents.
Not for the most part. For the most part. As like an adult person. Yeah. It has been like because it's also such I think it's also hard as like a sober person because so much of New Year's Eve was like maybe next year I won't be an alcoholic. Yeah. And now as somebody who feels settled and adjusted, I feel like it is number one holiday. My most favorite holiday is probably Valentine's Day.
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Chapter 4: How has Fortune Feimster's career evolved?
It's a lot of kiss-based, but it's also a lot of annoying noises. And I don't like a loud noise. And I do. I'm going to want a holiday that's quiet. Okay? I love Easter. The quietest of all the holidays. Oh, isn't it so quiet? It's so quiet. It's giving brunch. It's giving church. And pastels. It's giving... He is risen.
Yeah.
And I don't think we're talking about that enough. No. America. So what are you doing on New Year's Eve? And do you have any goals for 2025?
Well, here's what's weird. I think most of my... A life as somebody who's consciously excited for New Year's Eve, I have spent... So much time usually planning to be around the person that you're trying to kiss.
Of course.
Right. Yeah. I'm talking I'm planning months in advance to make sure that we're at the same party at the same time. You got to get that smooch.
Oh, you got to get that smooch. Right. You got to lock down your smooch back in October. Yes. Yeah.
If by Halloween you don't know who your smooch is going to be. Game over. Game fucking over.
Wait till next year. Wait till next year.
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of butch representation in media?
Yeah. So maybe that's why you like it so much. Yeah. I mean, you, it's too loud. I just think the branding, I think the branding is very hetero and I don't. I love champagne glasses. I mean, but it all surrounds a ball dropping. Somebody call Sabrina. Now, if we changed it to a breast dropping. Which it feels like it. Then maybe I'd be more interested.
I don't love how phallic and just it's giving. It's also a little Ryan Seacrest. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I mean, it's a lot of Anderson Cooper. But that feels nice.
Drunk Anderson Cooper feels really good, like a reset of the year. Yeah, I guess I want younger and gayer hosts.
Gayer than Anderson Cooper? Yeah. That man is a gay man passing it straight. Wow. Sorry, Anderson. Whoa.
Sorry. Yeah, I want to see. I do. And this is actually maybe this is my it's a New Year's resolution for media for 2025. I'm begging to see more butch lesbos. Yeah. In. Public eye. Yeah. I want to see, like, masculine news reporters. Yeah. I want to see masculine cartoon characters. Okay, yeah. Okay, yes, Rachel Maddow. But I'm talking more. Okay. Further. Yeah. Butcher. Butcher. Masker.
Bald head.
Bald. Bald. Bald. I have a question for you, and this is a serious question. What? Who would be your ideal duo? And you can pick anyone across time and space. Ideal duo to be the one ringing in the new year instead of like... Instead of Ryan and Kathy Griffin.
I would put... I'm trying to think of who's butch enough.
You know what I mean?
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts balance personal and professional lives?
I would also just say that both of them will be drunk. And I want, like, they'll be blackout drunk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So pick two people that you're like, I want them to, I want to see them both blackout drunk on live television ringing in the new year.
Also, Wanda Sykes comes to mind because she's already such a loose cannon that I want to see her a couple, Couple drinks in. Deeply. Going like, and you know what else? Yeah. Like, mad. Big time. Like, mad. I want someone with loose lips and secrets to spill. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. I want Cara Delevingne telling me who she railed with Wanda Sykes egging her on. That's two great people. Right?
I do believe Cara is sober. Oh, for sure.
I do believe Cara is sober. Same. But let's think of...
I do like those two together.
It would be a fun dynamic, too, because it's really fun.
I don't even think she needs to be drunk.
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Chapter 7: What are the wildest experiences from meet and greets?
I'd love national secrets being spilled. Yeah. So if we can get, like, Condoleezza Rice. Wait, Condoleezza Rice chaperone.
Yeah. Done. Done. And...
We fixed it.
How fun would that be? That's the world. That's the America I want. I know, me too. And I literally don't think we're asking for much.
It's not much.
Okay, imagine a bitter Kamala Harris. Sorry, it's sad, but how fun. She's like, who gives a fuck? I want national secrets spilled.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want somebody spilling national secrets and somebody spilling Hollywood secrets.
I want... Kamala Harris to go take a shit in Mar-a-Lago and then they're live streaming it on TikTok right before it gets banned. She's laughing, running away, pulling up her pants. Yes.
Yes. I'm here for it. You know what I mean? I hope we see this in the next two to three years.
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Chapter 8: How did Fortune and Jax meet?
I think it's going to be for better. I think, I hope it's going to be for better. And that's my 2025 goal. Good. That's what I want. Is to, I want all queer people, and I said it like a couple weeks ago, but I do think walk up to a man and spit on him.
Yes, yes, yes.
I think have that energy coming into 2025 of being, you know, if you're going to do this to me, I'm going to do so much worse to you.
Do you know what I keep trying so hard? There's like this huge part of me that when it comes to a second Trump presidency as a so desperately wants to take this horrible, hateful disaster and say, let's rise above. Let's have queer joy. Let's support each other. Let's like, let's John together. Yeah. But the reality is I really just want Kamala Harris to go take a dump at Mar-a-Lago.
And I'm working on somehow marrying the two. Maybe that's my goal for 2025 is how to spread queer joy in the face of such a horrific. Yeah.
My dream is that queer people start doing that old trick where you put dog shit or human shit in a bag and light it on fire. Don't say or human shit.
Or human shit.
Yeah. Just to every Republican senator. Yeah. Anybody who's really out there doing harmful things to the queer community. Yeah. Leave a bag of flaming shit on their front door.
Yeah. And... That's our way of rising above. That's the least we can do. You know what I mean? When they go low, go lower. Go lower. That's what we're always saying here.
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