Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hi, friends. I'm crying from the end of the episode. You will get there soon. But if you could just please subscribe on YouTube, even if you're an audio listener, just, you know, over to YouTube and subscribe. We're almost to a million, which feels insane. And I just really want to get there.
Sigh.
So if you'd help me out, that'd be amazing. And Lauren, do you want to give us a little kickoff in another country accent? I did it. I did my part. It was so good. Again, you guys will get there, but I hope you enjoy this episode.
Always watching.
What is wrong with you?
That's you. Always watching.
What do you mean?
Always watching. Are we supposed to know where that's from?
I have no idea what is going on right now. Everyone knows where that's from.
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts feel about overwhelming situations?
I wish I could include a picture without being so utterly embarrassed and just disappointed in myself. But we are in the middle of cleaning and it gets a lot worse before there's any sliver of hope that it will get better. But I'm donating a lot. I literally want to like, I don't know, like have a free yard sale somewhere where I can just like show up and drop a pin and be like, hey, close.
Hey, close. That's actually called Goodwill. No, no. I want it to go for free to people that need it. Goodwill? Is highway robbery.
Goodwill be charging, Lauren. I don't know if you walked into Goodwill lately.
I have. I dropped off stuff there and then I was like, hey, let me take a look around. And I did. And I literally got like seven items. And then they were like, your total is $7. And I was like, what?
Well, you're going to a good Goodwill because the ones I've been going to are insane. Like $12 for a Shein top. And I'm like, this is weird. I am going to donate whatever I don't give away to people to like the American Cancer Society. Does Goodwill not do that too? Goodwill is like a really insane for-profit company.
Huh. I always thought that it was like the good stuff they're like putting out there to sell, but like the other stuff that's not like super great, they're donating.
To where? Where does... Never mind. I'm like, where would Goodwill donate if they don't want it? I don't know. Like you just said.
They bring it to another Goodwill.
They do ships. Someone please enlighten me on Goodwill.
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Chapter 3: What are the challenges of organizing personal space?
And just like, I'm going to walk away, not say anything to my boyfriend and then also not see him for hours. That's true. There's no mention of like cell phones. Like maybe they were really committed to the bit and didn't bring them. There was nothing really constructive about this. And
I think you're fair for your feelings, but then to the point where they say, we ended up arguing and it escalated more than it should have. You guys got to get your shit together.
What are we arguing about? You know?
Feeling unsupported, you telling me to be quiet, you abandoned me. Well, I get that, but what's he arguing? That he felt abandoned.
Oh, after.
I forgot that, or I guess I just didn't fully realize that she didn't say anything. And she just like did.
Bye. Yeah. And then I think it was how many hours? A few hours later, my boyfriend found us and was upset. Like there's no mention of a text, a call. How did he find you? Was he walking around this whole thing trying to find you? Why were they going to split up anyway? That was my question. They all wanted to go to different activities. So but he was he was somebody else? No. Oh.
Not how I would go to an event. I want to stick with my friends and have a good time vibing together. But. Maybe there was a sword making exhibition and she wanted to go to fairyland. And so they were like, hey, divide and conquer.
So the reason I think that Justin would feel the boyfriends feels is because you don't like loud noises. You wear headphones everywhere. Earplugs.
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts handle overwhelming emotions in relationships?
Yeah, and it melted in the car.
One of them melted in the car. I was very upset about it. But I used to keep all of them. And like, I just think it's so sad that I don't anymore because like that would be where they are. No, I think that, yeah, they're like thrown away. One of them I remember like cracked. But like how cool would that be?
Like the fact that that was like the thing that I loved to do because like my my brother and like everybody else like picked like their own one like prize. And that was the thing I always loved. And like the fact that I was like keep like my hand was getting bigger and bigger. That's like kind of cool. That's adorable.
Yeah. It's kind of like the height chart on a wall.
Yeah. I think people do that with their babies and stuff. That's really cute. Yeah. The OPA on that one comment does reply and say his bloody joust is Kansas City. I sorted comments by controversial just to see if there's anything else. And this one has negative 12 upvotes. This is against the group feeling, but this is the message you sent to your boyfriend.
I consider what I want to do more important than the feelings of a scared child. And when criticized, I will walk away and abandon you rather than express my feelings calmly. If that's not the impression you want to give, then reconsider your actions. Otherwise, hurrah and carry on. Another controversial comment with negative 16. You're the asshole.
Not for being loud, but for storming off and punishing your boyfriend for three hours when he uttered one sentence. Not even unkindly, but a mere suggestion. That reaction is not the reaction of a stable person, and it's manipulative. And then OP adds that they did have a plan to split up. I don't think that was in the original post, but she edited it to make it seem like it was.
So I think after getting some you're the assholes, I think like she did an edit, but didn't label it as an edit and just put it on there. So to me, it looked like it existed the whole time.
And is that true?
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of a boyfriend being upset about a zoo trip while pregnant?
I had a friend who whenever I was reading Agatar, she said that she started acting out the scenes with her partner. And I was like, stop you're ruining it for me because then i'd be reading the book trying to like be in a total different world and then they'd pop into my head and i'd be like ah get out oh my god i sound like a little kid ew i wasn't happy about it no that's the last thing
oh my dude that would actually ruin the book for me if you told me that and I was like you're like yeah well when you get to that one scene me and Brian did that I'd be like what the fuck it would just be like an intrusive thought that floats by and it's just so unfair Okay, we're moving on to this next one. Okay, this is coming from r slash relationship advice.
It is titled boyfriend 21 male is upset that I'm 21 female going to the zoo with my mom while pregnant. I'm looking for another perspective in this because I think he may be overreacting, but he says it's perfectly valid. For more context, my mom and I had booked tickets for a comedy show nearly two years ago before my boyfriend and I even got together.
We always had a plan to have a mother-daughter weekend together as it is in a different city, and we never spend one-on-one time like that together very often. I got with my boyfriend a bit over a year ago now, please no judgment on how quickly I got pregnant, and it's been a bit rocky. He's never really liked my family, and my family hasn't liked him.
Anyways, I'll be 34 weeks pregnant for this comedy show, and my mom really wants us to go to the zoo as well because she hasn't been since we were babies, and she never gets to travel out of our hometown to do so. I thought it was a great idea, and I would love to do this with my mom.
When I brought this up with my boyfriend, he instantly turned cold and angry, saying that it's not right that I'm taking away something special to him being our daughter's first zoo experience.
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Chapter 6: How can controlling behavior impact a relationship?
Wow. He was already upset about this comedy show for a while because it's also his favorite comedian, but I kept telling him we booked it well before you came along and now we are doing the zoo, which also turns out to be his favorite place as well.
He thinks my mom is doing this on purpose to spite him and shun him from his daughter already, which I'm trying to explain that she isn't even born yet. This is for my mom and I. But he won't listen and is still very angry about it. I don't really want to say no to this zoo trip, but if it's causing this much drama, then maybe I should.
Run! This level of whatever you want to call this is scary to me. That's something that could, in my opinion, turn scary.
This is insane behavior. Yeah. Controlling, abusive, manipulative, insane behavior. Exactly. And you're 21. This is not normal. You might not know yet, which is why OP, I think, is writing in saying, I think he may be overreacting, but he says it's perfectly valid. No, I'm sorry. His feelings... This is the one time where I'm like, his feelings aren't actually valid. His feelings are...
and possessive and goofy and fucked up.
A lot of this happens slowly. And so somebody might be like, oh, yeah, well, he loves the zoo. He wanted to go like blah, blah, blah. But it's like, no, this is the details of this is what makes it scary and what makes it snowball to a point one day where she's in danger.
I mean, I think the very common thought is the fact that, well, I'm pregnant. I need to stay with the other parent because we're about to have this baby together and that's what people do and that's how it's supposed to go. And we need to stay together for the child, which, I mean, if you've listened to the show long enough, we've all seen-
We've all seen that it can be so much more healthy for a child with you guys split up and happy than it is with you guys together and unhealthy. And there's a lot of different levels of that.
He's separating her from her family. Yes.
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Chapter 7: What are the signs of weaponized incompetence in a partner?
And then he continues this bad behavior. And honestly, I mean, that isolation, that is that's a manipulation tactic. And to isolate from her mother who wants to go to a zoo. Mom's not saying, let's go to the club, honey. Let's take some awesome shooters. No, she says, I want to go to the zoo. Like, that's crazy if you're going to have a problem with that.
And also, if I'm pregnant, I'm going to do whatever I want.
Yeah, Lauren. Damn straight. Also, your daughter is not going to know she's at the zoo.
Well, that's... Okay. That's... Yeah.
I mean, I know that isn't literal. I know that's just like saying that to just use another manipulation tactic. But just...
I was going to ignore that one, but yeah.
You can't, though. It's just like it's so ridiculous.
But that's the emotional abuse of it. You're taking away that experience of the first time my daughter goes to the zoo. I'm going to the zoo. She's not born yet. I'm going to the zoo with my mom. This is the last time me and my mom will go to the zoo without me having a baby. Like, this is quality time. Also, if the zoo is his other favorite place, why haven't we been to the zoo, babe?
Yeah, truly. Why don't we have a membership?
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Chapter 8: How do boundaries in relationships evolve over time?
Truly. The baby's been in the belly for nine months. There was nine months to go to the zoo with you. 34 weeks.
Why haven't we been to the zoo yet, if that was important to you?
Yeah.
No, it's manipulative. Top comment does talk about this too. The daughter that's currently in your womb, that daughter's first zoo experience. I think I can see why your family doesn't like him. Oh, yeah. Next one. Someone responds to that. I was pregnant in jail. Does that mean my son was also in jail? He'll be excited to know.
He'll be excited to know.
I was like, did I just read that right? Someone responds, my mom was five months pregnant with me when she and my dad went to Disneyland's opening weekend. I absolutely brag about being there for the opening. And if my mom had been in jail instead, hell yeah, I'd be bragging on that instead.
I mean, yes, you are there, but you're not experiencing it. But yes, you were there.
Fucking floating in amniotic fluid. I don't think that counts.
You're there. You're not experiencing it, but you're there. Yep. Because when you're in the womb at Disneyland and mom eats a Mickey pretzel, you're getting some of that pretzel. So maybe you are experiencing it on some level. You're getting that pretzel, Lauren. It goes right through the tube.
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