Nikki Mamanno on Breaking Good
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
I've been at the bottom of the mountain and I've looked up and it looked like the top was a million miles away and it felt like I couldn't do it a hundred times over. As hard as it is, please, you know, please hold on and please keep going because there is beauty in this world and it is there for all of us.
Well, hello and welcome to Uncorking a Story. I'm your host, Mike Carlin, and today I'm joined by Nikki Mamano. Nikki was raised in the greater New York metro area and spent her early 20s in Hawaii before returning to the Northeast, where she settled in Montclair, New Jersey, home of the Montclair Blues, I might add, to raise her daughters. Her debut memoir, Breaking Good, explores her lived experience of addiction, recovery, and the criminal underworld of Oahu. An evocative, unsanitized look at the systems people fall through and what it takes to rebuild a life. Welcome to Uncorking a Story, Nikki.
Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. I'm very excited to chat with you.
I'm excited to have you here, Nikki. I'm curious, where does your story as an author begin?
You know, I think my story as an author begins when I knew I had a story to tell. I had lived a pretty wild life. You know, went through trauma, addiction. prison, homelessness, prostitution, and then I ended up in suburbia trying to rebuild my life and pull it together and heal. And I did as much work as I could, and at one point, I knew that I had enough there to help people. I knew that I had enough to connect. I knew I had enough life experience that I understood things, and I decided it was kind.
I love how one of the impetuses here is, if that's even a word, is impetuses a word? I don't know. I think I may have just made something up. I'm not sure.
We're going to go with the flow today.
Let's just go with it. But one of the motivations, let's use the word motivation, was to help people. And when you felt like you had enough information or enough of a story to help people, that sort of got you started. Tell me more about that motivation. Why was that so important to you?
I had a lot of trauma. And when people read the book, they're going to see what turned me into a drug dealer and the addiction. And I always say addiction is the disease of trauma and disconnection. So it's all connected. I didn't just wake up one day. I don't think it's every little girl's dream to become a drug dealer. But at some point, I had been through enough and Addiction is the disease of trauma and disconnection. And so it's very clear why I became a drug dealer and why I went down the path I did. But the truth is I did that. And that does hurt people. And I lived with that. I lived with my story. I lived with my pain. I lived with my trauma. I lived with my shame. And so a big part of my story is redemption and the way that I am able to give back to people, the way I'm able to, you know, give back, pay forward, and do all the things and help the people that I wish, the help I wish I had.
So, you know, I realized at some point that not only was I on a path of redemption, but I had all of these understandings and life experience where I could reach people. And that's what's been happening with the book. I've been getting DMs and, you know, and messages and all sorts of things that tell me that I'm helping people that have been through what I've been through. I'm helping people that haven't, but that they are connected to people that have. And then I get, I get DMs from people that say, I have never been through this. I have never touch this in my life, but I want to be less judgmental. I want to understand this more. I want to volunteer with kids and addicts and stuff like that. So for me, not only is it a beautiful part of my redemption story, but it touches my heart so deeply that I'm able to do this and I'm able to give back and reach people that need the help just like I did.
So, you know, it's not lost on me that the title of your memoir is somewhat related to, you know, one of my favorite TV shows, Breaking Bad. Of course, yours is Breaking Good.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–4:18
2
What inspired Nikki Mammano to share her story in the memoir *Breaking Good*?
4:18–9:44
3
How does Nikki describe the connection between trauma, disconnection, and addiction?
9:44–16:44
4
Why did Nikki choose the title *Breaking Good* and how does it relate to *Breaking Bad*?
16:44–33:52