Untoxicated Podcast
Episodes
Ep84 – My Alcoholic Lies: Innocent or Evil?
26 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When Matt was in top form as an alcoholic drinker, he was also extremely proficient as a lier and gaslighter. And yet, with piles of evidence to the c...
Ep83 – Our Own Worst Enemies: Triggers and Solutions
19 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Beating ourselves up when feeling less than worthy is a common part of the human experience. Once culture and society warp our childhood innocence, ou...
Ep82 – Stuck Behind Booze on the Alcoholic’s Priority List
12 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
From taking the family to see ice skating princesses, to venturing into the wooded mountains to cut down a Christmas Tree, Matt was all about spending...
Ep81 – 5 Universalisms of HFAs thru the Eyes of the Loved Ones
05 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Universalisms: Things we believe to be virtually universal as we grow in our understanding of how alcohol impacts brains and relationships. Here are f...
Ep80 – Breaking the Cycle of Codependence with Jessica
29 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
As the daughter of an alcoholic, Jessica had plenty of experience with codependence. When her husband's drinking was spiralling out of control, she ha...
Ep79 – Why the Shame of Early Sobriety Wrecks Marriages
22 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Early sobriety is full of shame for high-functioning alcoholics. Often, the spouse has a very hard time understanding the depths of the shame. In this...
Ep78 – ComYoukneekashon Mistakes
15 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Sheri and Matt agree that the single greatest barrier to loving recovery that most couples face when trying to yank their alcoholic marriages out of t...
Ep77 – Connecting Trauma and Health with Catherine Craig
08 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Catherine Craig (LSCSW, 1000YT) joins Sheri and Matt to talk about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE Study), attachment theory and the trauma of expe...
Ep76 – Introducing the Marriagevolution
01 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The third section of our book, soberevolution: Evolve into Sobriety and Recovery Your Alcoholic Marriage, is all about saving your marriage from the ...
Ep75 – We Are Recovery with Anna and Mitchell
22 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Mitchell is a gratefully recovering addict of everything (and more of everything), and Anna is the wife of an addict in recovery who is recovering fro...
Ep74 – Arrogance to Sobbing Puddle: The Attraction of the HFA
15 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Everyone knows childhood trauma or major tragedy often leads to alcoholism. But that was not part of Matt's story. Matt's dependence on external valid...
Ep73 – Running into the Solution with Amber Graziano
08 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
She was an award winning and highly recruited high school athlete. She received a full-ride division one scholarship to Baylor University for her skil...
Ep72 – Another Day Closer to Forever with Dana and Frank
01 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Sheri and Matt welcome Dana and Frank to the pocast. This is the first time they have interviewed a couple working to recover their marriage. Frank ha...
Ep71 – What Goes Down Must Come Up
25 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The progression into alcoholism is always the same. Sure, some of the details are different, and the ultimate rock-bottom destination - The Pit, as Ma...
Ep70 – Barbara’s Recovery from Sacrificing Herself
18 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Doctor's take an oath to do no harm. When the surgeons operated on Barbara, she was an exception. They knew they risked harming her. Barbara knew it, ...
Ep69 – Should I Stay or Should I Go?
11 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
This is the question we hear most often from our listeners, so on this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss how she processed this painful decision in thei...
Ep68 – Can Anyone Hear Me? Communication Challenges in Sheri’s Recovery
04 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Family communication is fraught with pitfalls whether alcoholism is a factor or not. But with sobriety, we can make progress in our discovery. In this...
Ep67 – Saved by Sobriety: The House Fire Cheryl Survived
21 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever cheated death? Have you ever had too much to drink, and put yourself in a dangerous situation? Have you ever passed out unable to protec...
Ep66 – Be the Hero and Save Yourself
14 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Low self esteem, insecurity and negative self talk - these issues plague so many of us, and they are particularly detrimental to people who love alcoh...
Ep65 – Karen Explains that You can have a Life on the Other Side
07 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Karen's life did not go as planned. She married the man she loved, and they had four kids together. So far, so good. But when the progression of her h...
Ep64 – soberevolution: Who Should Read this Book?
30 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Our book, soberevolution: Evolve into Sobriety and Recover Your Alcoholic Marriage, isn't for everybody. It is for high-functioning alcoholics who ar...
Ep63 – The Holiday Season: Tinsel & Candy Cane Covered Trauma
23 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
It's a Wonderful Life or White Christmas - who has experienced a holiday season that lives up to those perfect pictures of love, family and humanity?...
Ep62 – You’ve Done Nothing Wrong. Why are you So Ashamed?
16 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The shame of alcoholism is not reserved only for the drinkers. The loved ones of drinkers feel an enormous amount of shame - for letting it get so bad...
Ep61 – Traci on Healing Her Broken Heart
09 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The anger and resentment from her husband's drinking was building inside our friend, Traci. If he kept drinking, she faced a selfless and dreadful dec...
Ep60 – Why are we still so angry?
02 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever looked for the root cause of your anger, you've probably read or heard that anger is the outward manifestation of fear. There's wisdom ...
Ep58 – Neither of You are to Blame
19 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Alcoholism is so insidious because of how it creeps into relationships and destroys us from the inside. When did my husband turn from a sweet, loving ...
Ep57 – Kate Flourishing in the Truth
12 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sheri and Matt are joined on this episode by a fellow survivor of an alcoholic marriage, their good friend and Denver neighbor, Kate. Just like Sheri,...
Ep56 – Our Wedding: Making the Trauma Typical
05 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sheri and Matt tell the story of the trauma of their wedding. Devastating and heartbreaking? Yes. Unusual? Sadly, no. It was such a shameful event tha...
Ep55 – The 2 Keys to Ending the Alcoholism Epidemic
28 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Being a part of the alcoholism recovery community is all about putting out fires that are already started. That's important, but that's not what this ...
Ep54 – Jane’s Pain and Anger from Being In It
21 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
If you've listened to the Untoxicated Podcast before, you know Sheri's and Matt's story is not unique, because you are probably in the middle of a si...
Ep53 – Inspiration from Matt’s Mediocrity
14 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Listeners and readers often share that they can't imagine their alcoholic spouses reaching the level of clarity that Matt and Sheri share on this podc...
Ep52 – A Message for Your Alcoholic Partner
07 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
As an active alcoholic, Matt thought all of his attempts to control his drinking, his pontifications about how it would be different this time, and hi...
Ep51 – How Sheri’s Cold Detachment Contributed to Matt’s Sobriety
31 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
After a decade of developing disdain for her alcoholic husband, the disease transformed Sheri into a bit of bitch. And now, looking back, no one is ha...
Ep50 – The Raw, Naked Truth about Socializing Sober
24 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Socializing sober is not just a challenge for alcoholics in recovery. Everyone impacted by this disease has to find a groove in a society that depends...
Ep49 – Getting from Here to the Relationship You Want
10 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sobriety doesn't fix anything, but it is a prerequisite for recovery from an alcoholic marriage. Once we realize we have removed alcohol, and our rela...
Ep48 – Fairytale: When Relationship Recovery Feels Out of Reach
03 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We asked a group of loved ones of alcoholics to read a chapter of our book, soberevolution, that will be released on September 23rd. The chapter is t...
Ep47 – The Emotional Volatility of Living with Alcoholism
27 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We talk a lot of the trauma and pain of living with an alcoholic, but we rarely share the details. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the emot...
Ep46 – Impact: Here’s Why You’re Not a Failure
20 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Recovery is not a binary choice. You are not a success if you are sober, and a failure if you relapse. The same is true for the loved ones of alcoholi...
Ep45 – The Revealing Truth of Sobriety
13 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
I thought I was so funny, cute, smart and charming when I was drinking. Little did I know, I was just a loud and boorish bloviator of intoxicated ramb...
Ep44 – You Drank Yourself Silly: The Brain Chemistry of Alcoholism
06 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, it is easy to blame poor lifestyle choices and lack of willpower for the jam your abusive drinker has gotten...
Ep43 – Relationship Recovery Dry Relapse
29 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A dry drunk is a label associated with someone who white-knuckles his way through sobriety. A dry drunk might not be drinking alcohol, but he is not l...
Ep42 – The Alcohol is Gone, But the Asshole Lingers
22 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
One of the most common concerns Sheri and Matt hear from the loved ones of alcoholics is, "He's a drunk asshole now, but what if he sobers up, and he'...
Ep41 – Parenting Sober: Journey into the Unknown
08 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sheri and Matt had drastically different exposures to alcohol when we were growing up, and we carried that experience into our parenting roles. Our ki...
Ep40 – Friendships Lost in Recovery
26 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sheri and Matt are big believers in the power of vulnerability, and the huge gains in enlightenment and healing we have made as a result of recovering...
Ep39 – Instinct Over Insecurity: When Pushing It Down Stops Working
18 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sheri and Matt talk about the evolving process of learning to trust instincts. The greatest challenge to listening to what she knows to be true are th...
Ep38 – It Turns Out My Wife’s Not a Bitch
08 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
I had a huge ego as an active alcoholic. I thought I was great. My wife, Sheri, found me repulsive and stupid, and she felt betrayed by my love of alc...
Ep37 – It’s Sheri’s Turn: A Sense of Recovery Urgency
27 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Active alcoholism is selfish, but everyone knows that. Early sobriety is equally selfish, but this time, for a good reason. For Matt and Sheri, our re...
Ep36 – Sheri’s Lingering Fears from the Trauma of Alcoholism
14 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Three years into recovery from Matt's alcoholism, fearful anticipation lingers for Sheri. In this episode, we discuss the worry and anxiety that Sheri...
Ep35 – Echoes of Recovery: Healing for the Loved Ones of Alcoholics
02 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
One of the most widely accepted misperceptions about alcohol addiction is that the drinkers are the only people facing enormous challenges in recovery...
Ep34 – Pandemic Policy Fuels Epic Liquor Store Lines
26 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
On our first remotely recorded episode due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Matt and Debbie Scheer discuss the public policy decision that threw Denver into ...
Ep33 – Quarantine and Isolation – Alcohol will Only Make it Worse
13 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
While the COVID-19 pandemic is nothing like the terrorist attack on America we suffered during 9/11, it does isolate and confine us in a similar way. ...
Ep32 – Sex Miseducation: The Lasting Impact
06 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Was your middle school sex ed experience as shrouded in shameful secrecy and as incomplete as ours? In this episode, Matt and Debbie talk about the la...
EP31 – The Destruction of Intimacy in our Alcoholic Marriage
28 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sheri and Matt dive deeper than ever before into the intimate details of our alcoholic marriage. Our relationship started in a very typical manner - w...
Ep30 – Humor is the Ultimate Icebreaker with Debbie Scheer
17 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The damage done by alcohol is no laughing matter, but if we lighten up and loosen up, honest, healing conversation often follows. No one knows more ab...
Ep29 – Doritos Made Me an Alcoholic: The Why, the How and the Stigma of Alcoholism
03 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
To blame my alcoholism on Doritos is a bold statement, but the more we learn about neurochemistry and the way our brains process inputs, the more obvi...
Ep28 – Bar Zero: Great Food, Exotic Drinks, Fun People with No Alcohol
14 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Emily Schrader has always been a risk taker. Drinking alcohol and doing drugs was a natural fit for a woman living life on the edge. Now, with 15 year...
Ep27 – Accomplishment Black Hole
08 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
I'm supposed to feel rested coming off the holidays, right? So why do I feel so bad - worthless and sinking? Some people drink to avoid processing tra...
Ep26 – Surviving the Holidays Sober
13 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
This is our third consecutive sober holiday season, and it is monumentally better for both my wife and me. In this episode, Sheri and I discuss the di...
Ep25 – My Alcoholism is Not a Spiritual Problem
25 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I share a speech I gave to a community of people recovering from alcoholism through the twelve steps. It was not an Alcoholics Anonym...
Ep24 – When Alcohol Stops Working with Jolene Park
11 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Jolene Park and her friends were like the cast of Sex in the City with their nights on the town and affinity for classy wines while complaining about ...
Ep23 – Healthy Delay: The Pace of Recovery for an Alcoholic Spouse
28 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
When I was trying to gain my permanent sobriety, I needed my wife's support more than ever. I thought her cautions attitude and reserved enthusiasm wa...
Ep22 – Gray Area Drinking with Christy Wynne
14 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Christy Wynne didn't have a spectacular, catastrophic, up-in-flames relationship with alcohol. Sure, she partied for many years, but she decided to le...
Ep21 – Sheri’s Social Drinking: Alcohol Remains Toxic to Our Marriage
30 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
The damage done to our marriage by my active alcoholism was massive. We are still trying to deal with the resentment, and repair trust and our intimat...
Ep20 – Alcoholism is More Prolific than Cancer, and We Are the Cure
19 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Almost 15 million Americans have cancer, but there are more than 15 million American alcoholics. Addiction to alcoholism touches all of our lives. In ...
Ep19 – Fearless Teen Drinking: Make Alcohol a Choice
06 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Listen to this speech I wrote for the students at a large, racially and economically diverse high school after they experienced a series of brazen and...
Ep18 – Getting Our Marriage Unstuck with Jason & Lana
12 Aug 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Sheri and I are stuck. We have made tremendous progress in the recovery of our relationship, now in the third year of my sobriety, but resentments fro...
Ep17 – Sheri’s Story, Part 2: Recovering Our Marriage
09 Jul 2019
Contributed by Lukas
In part two of a three part series about how Matt's alcoholism has damaged our marriage, Sheri talks about the process of recovering our marriage from...
Ep16 – SHOUT Sobriety Week 6
21 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
God has an important place in my life. He always has. I am a very spiritual person, and I pray constantly both now and back when I was in active alcoh...
Ep15 – SHOUT Sobriety Week 5
20 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Relationships are so important to our happiness and our success in early sobriety. Taking alcohol out of our relationships actually does not fix the p...
Ep14 – SHOUT Sobriety Week 4
19 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
The disease of alcoholism has many victims. The spouses and children of an alcoholic are victims. The parents and friends of an alcoholic are victims,...
Ep13 – SHOUT Sobriety Week 3
15 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
In the third week of the SHOUT Sobriety program, we discuss two very important topics in early sobriety. We have to be patient with ourselves and o...
Ep12 – SHOUT Sobriety Week 2
14 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
In week 2 of SHOUT Sobriety, the topic could not be more important. This week we are focused on brain chemistry. We lean how our alcohol consumption h...
Ep11 – SHOUT Sobriety Week 1
08 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Learn about our program to help people navigate the treacherous waters of early sobriety. It is called SHOUT Sobriety, and we offer this six week stra...
Ep10 – Sink or Swim with Author Michael Arnold
20 May 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Michael Arnold is an alcoholic and drug addict in recovery, and she is loud and proud about it. Her rock bottom was when her heart stopped in an ambul...
Ep9 – Sheri’s Story: Matt’s Wife on an Alcoholic Marriage
06 May 2019
Contributed by Lukas
I've talked and written extensively about my relationship with my wife. Now it is her turn to talk. Hear about the damage done to our marriage as we s...
Ep8 – When Love Survives Addiction
22 Apr 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Jason and Matt have interviewed experts on addiction and relationships. Now it's time to hear the stories of the damage their addictions have caused i...
Ep7 – Drugs, Alcohol and Teenage Invincibility with Dave Friedentag
27 Mar 2019
Contributed by Lukas
We asked Dave Friedentag why he works with troubled youth to help them move past their drug and alcohol abuse problems and find a better way forward. ...
Ep6 – Relationships in Recovery with Therapist Melissa Ryan
18 Feb 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Counseling couples to help them navigate challenges in their relationships often involves tackling the many issues surrounding addiction. In Ep6, our ...
Ep5 – When Sobriety Ends the Marriage
30 Jan 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Everyone knows addiction is a leading cause of divorce, but did you know sobriety destroys marriages, too? Sometimes - quite often, really - couples a...
Ep4 – The Addiction Nutritionist: What You Eat Can Heal You
07 Jan 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Why do traditional addiction recovery programs have such terrible success rates? Talk therapy, group sessions, working the steps, etc. are key compone...
Ep3 – So What’s Matt Salis’ Story?
10 Dec 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Matt's love affair with alcohol began with sips of his dad's beer as a kid, continued with experimentation in high school and binge drinking in colleg...
Ep2 – What’s the Deal with Jason Polk?
26 Nov 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Jason's dance with addiction really was a journey from innocent alcohol experimentation to weed, hallucinogens, cocaine and, eventually, pornography. ...
Ep1 – So What is Untoxicated All About?
09 Nov 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Shhh. Did you hear about my friend's divorce? I hear his wife told him to quit drinking or get out. Shhh. I bet my uncle will be drunk at Thanksgiving...