Chapter 1: What humorous moment sparked the dating conversation?
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Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy. Not quite. On Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends, me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guests, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between-songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes.
Those people are starving for banter. Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the Look Back At It podcast.
1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me. I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. It was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for black people.
Listen to Look Back at It on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, what's good, y'all? You're listening to Learn the Hard Way with your favorite therapist and host, Keir Gaines. This space is about Black men's experiences, having honest conversations that it's really not safe to have anywhere, but you're having them with a licensed professional who knows what he's doing. How many men...
carry a suit of armor it signals to the world that you not to be played with and just because you have the capability that does not mean that you need to listen to learn the hard way on the iHeartRadio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts My mother-in-law spent years sabotaging our relationship until karma made her pay for it.
All right, Sophia, tell me about how we started this story. She moved in for two weeks, lasted five days, left a mess, and then pressed her ear against their bedroom door and burst in screaming. When kicked out to a hotel, she called her son-in-law's workplace, pretending his partner had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance. faked a medical emergency? And spoiler, that was just the beginning.
To find out how it ends, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Chapter 2: How does parenting style influence children's dating?
Hey, babes. It's Lala Kent. Welcome to the bonus episode of Untraditionally Lala. Um, TT, how we feeling, buddy? How we feeling on this Monday, buddy?
Woo!
Can I tell you, I have been doing this thing when I have anxiety where I know I like get into my chest and do like a Tarzan and all of a sudden I can breathe. I haven't had debilitating anxiety. Didn't Calvin tell you to do that? I did it in front of Calvin for the first time. I didn't even care. He was, he told you, he said, you got to just scream. Yeah. And you did. I did. Yeah.
I did really well at it. You're continuing that? Today's the first day that I haven't really needed to do it. But to say that I haven't been in the car doing it. Do you hum? Only when I get injections. I go. I got a whole bunch of stuff going on. I hum sometimes to Sosa when she's laying on my chest. She loves it.
I think that just the uncertainty of life has gotten to me, which I've talked about this before and you know this, that it doesn't happen often, but there are times where I'm like, we're feeling a bit stagnant and I start to panic. This round of things, the amount of anxiety that I've had
I haven't had this level since my custody battle where it's just like I dread the night because I'm left with my thoughts. But I'm snapping out of it and I attribute it to the Tarzan screaming. Yeah. Just get it out, baby. Sometimes you got to scream into a pillow. Yeah. I'm excited for this bonus because it's along the lines.
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Chapter 3: What are the challenges of raising a daughter versus a son?
The other day, Ocean told me that I was allowed to have a boyfriend because she has four boyfriends at school. Dislike all of that. I was like, I don't love this. We're going to pretend that they're just, well, they are. They are just friends that are boys. Well, then I asked her, I was like, what do you mean you have four boyfriends?
And she was like, yeah, like this one, this one, this one, and this one. And I go, okay. And so like, they know about each other. And she goes, well, yeah, mom, because we're all friends. They're my boyfriends and I'm their girlfriend. I was like, oh, like a friend that's a boy. And she was like, yeah, mom, what else? What are you saying? I'm like, oh, okay.
Yes. Sorry.
We like this age. Yes. I was just so thrilled that my daughter finally told me I could have a boyfriend because for so long she's been like, you can't have a boyfriend. That means I won't be able to sleep in your bed. What does that mean for me? Once she like gave me the approval, I was like, oh, I like this. That's because she's sleeping in her own bed now. She is sleeping in her own bed now.
She told me that. For the past, hold on now.
Oh, is she not?
So over the weekend, I let her, I, no, I let her sleep in my bed. She's been crushing it in her own bed, gets herself in, tucked in, whatever.
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Chapter 4: How do parents navigate their children's relationships?
I let her sleep with me this past weekend. And now Amber's back in town, you guys. So now she's used to that. And she's like, why is Amber here again? And I was like, you love her. She goes, I don't like it at night because I'm supposed to be sleeping with you. I said, during the week, you have to sleep in your own bed. Weekends. Weekends, like party on.
She'll come to, when I see her, she goes, guess what, TT? I slept in my own bed. She's very proud of it. Do you make a big deal? Of course. But she said that on Sunday.
Yeah.
So she fibbed me. We have to make a big deal when she tells us cool things. Same with Sosa. Sosa's really into the big deal right now. Yeah. We have to make a big deal for everything. Yeah. Yeah. She's really funny right now. Anyway, Nick Cannon allows his 15-year-old son to date, but teen daughter is banned. So I'm a little confused by this, but also not. I think I may have an unpopular opinion.
Nick Cannon revealed he's okay with his son dating at 15 years old, but his twin sister isn't getting the same treatment. There is a difference when parenting a son and when parenting a daughter.
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Chapter 5: What lessons can be learned from Nick Cannon's parenting approach?
I am more protective of my daughter. I 100% agree with him, and I say this because, yes, his son can date. I think you can control... your son's actions and behaviors. Like Nick Cannon saying, do not put a woman in this position. You can't tell your girl, like, if you're put, like, who knows? But you can, you know, you can kind of make a roadway to your son. You can't do that with your daughter.
She's going to be put into positions, but you can tell your son what positions to... put a woman in to feel safe and comfortable, but you can't like, if he does this, you know, it's a very broad thing, but you can tell your son what to do and what not to do. You know, Cardi B spoke about this and she's been talking about it on a lot of different podcasts.
I think the one I saw, I believe it was with Michelle Obama. I'm not mistaken. Yeah. But she was saying when raising her son, she is very much teaching him that like, no means no. And respect. And that's where I'm kind of thinking that. And it's very hard to like, if I had a daughter and I was like, So he's going to probably say this, this, this, this, this.
It's like I have to go through a whole bunch of things of what he might say to you. You have to tap into the mind of a shitty man or a man that like maybe Nick has been at one point. There it is. And that's where I'm like, OK, he probably knows that. And now he's telling his son who not to be that he was. And now his son will have some, you know, a better chance at what he didn't.
Maybe, you know, broad perspective. I talk to my friends who have boys a lot and I express just with the state of the world and, you know, being these men in positions of power who still maintain power after a lot of things have come out about them and these women really fighting to not only be heard, but see something done. And for the most part, nothing is done.
So I've spoken to my friends who have boys and I express my concern with having girls. I never expected to be a girl mom. There are things that I have not experienced that some of my friends have that a lot of women have experienced at the hands of a man. And I remember one of my friends was like, I understand exactly what you're going through and how that could be scary.
She goes, but I have to say, I am so terrified raising a boy because I have to teach them about so many things that are unacceptable. And she goes, and you think that that would be an easy job because it just seems like it would be common sense to like, treat people, especially a woman, with respect and listen to them.
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Chapter 6: How can parents create a trusting environment for dating?
But when I look at a lot of these men, I sometimes wonder what the mom did to make them think that this was totally okay. Maybe it's not even what the mom did. It's what did the mom allow them to get away with. Or sometimes it's just... People are born who they are.
Well, yeah, I mean, there's a lot of people, I mean, I'll just say that are incarcerated that did terrible things and their mothers are out and that's not a, you know, what their kids did isn't a reflection of who the mother is. I don't know. I love what Cardi B said. Next time I see her mama, tell her that she raised a bitch. I'm all about blaming the mom.
I'm like, oh, your mama didn't finish the job, and I'm certainly not taking over. No. At some point, you're a man, and you know right from wrong, and you shouldn't need your mom to... I agree. You raised me. Now, I know right from wrong. I shouldn't, at the age that I'm at, or even 23, 4, 5, and being like, but mom... Did I do that wrong? It's like, what do you fucking mean? You're an adult.
Why are you going to your mom? Or why are you like, yes. I mean, I don't know. No, but it goes back also. Cause you know, I'm obsessed with K Michelle and I just caught up on real housewives of Atlanta. It is so good this season. I didn't think I would like it because I did not enjoy last season. just because I like what I like.
And anytime you recast pretty much an entire show, it's like, oh, this is funky, but you've got familiar faces, but you also have like a dynamic happening that I'm really freaking into. But K. Michelle, I've spoken about this song before because it slaps so hard. Can't raise a man. She talks about, he's already grown. What do you think you're going to do about it?
You wonder why he acts like a boy? It's because he wasn't raised right before you. What?
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Chapter 7: What experiences shaped the host's views on dating?
What? So is it the mom's fault? I don't know. I'm a mom and I certainly hope that when Ocean and Sosa go into the world, they're not like, you know what? You suck because of your mom. But don't they also say that your friends... They could also say roll the tape too. That your friends are a huge... Yes, they're the biggest influence on your life. So maybe it isn't what your mama did.
It's not.
Maybe it's what your homies did. It's just you were born a bitch. You were born a bitch.
You were born a bitch.
And you just didn't want to listen. Because let me tell you something. I know a lot of people that were in the rooms at Eastwood Elementary when they told us to be drug free. A lot of those people did not listen. Okay? What was that called?
They did not listen. Care?
Yes.
Dare.
Dare.
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Chapter 8: How do parents balance freedom and safety in their children's dating lives?
So we'll just keep it going. Have fun kiddo. Because you had to sit on books to like pass your driving test and stuff. Yeah. And dad, here's the one thing about dad that I really just have, you know, A bone to pick? Yeah. What is it? I liked different hairstyles, but he was like, since he had no hair, he was Mr. Toop. For a while, we were like, you got to give it up.
Yeah, we got to give up that toop, dad. He would look at me and go, hey, Easton. And then fold it back down. I was like, all right, let's just fucking get rid of it. Now this is just, all right. I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore. I'm scarred by the toop. Oh, because he had no hair. He was like, your hair is amazing.
So I just had this long, stupid, bushy, curly hair that I looked like a Q-tip. And my dad just made me have it because he didn't have hair. So I looked like a geriatric fuck at school because my dad didn't have hair. You did not look geriatric. People who look geriatric are usually bald. What are you talking about? You're making no sense.
I think you're upset that you couldn't do cool things with your, that's why you have dreads now, right? You did what you could never do that you wanted to do. I didn't even want dreads then, no. But I just like, I wanted like a cool, like fade on the top. And my dad would go, just with all that great hair, why you keep cutting it? It's like, Jesus, are you trying to live through me? Yeah.
Well, he did. He did. It's like when Michelle tells me she's going to cut her hair. I'm like, why would you do that? No, don't do that. I just remember dad. Or when anyone who has like a hairline that's low and they're like, yeah, I'm going to laser. I'm like, get rid of the hair. Why? You would cut it. Do you know how many Nutrafuls I'm popping a day?
Dad would come out and just like back in the day on the patio and he'd bring me my wine and he'd hand it to me. And then he just- Underage or normal? No, I didn't. Yeah, I was overage. I was like 23. Overage, I like that. This was, yeah, I was very overage. But 20, like a couple of years before he passed, but he just looked at me and he'd go-
you've got great hair and I'd just be like what the fuck is going on as he's just bald I was like wow I've never in my life even Brandon like back in the day was like enjoy your hair while you got it because Brandon's okay but let's talk about this if you shave your hair like you get rid of the dreads and what if what if I look like dad doesn't grow back no
I have to imagine a lot of these are not even attached to your head anymore. Do you guys want to see something way sad? How did we get onto dating and you're the bone to pick is that dad wouldn't let you get a fade. What the fuck is going on?
I don't know, but I can't even find the dread, but there it is.
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