Unwise Girls
Episodes
234: The Beach That Makes You Young
13 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The Chalice of the Gods, ch. 6 to 11 The Senior Year Adventures stay strong as we enter full nostalgia mode in the Chuck E. Cheese from hell. This wee...
233: He Wants His Special Cup
06 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The Chalice of the Gods, ch. 1 to 5 Maybe it isn't so over. Maybe we really can be so fucking back. This week on Unwise Girls, we let optimism back in...
232: ...Now Zane Carver is Our Best Friend?
27 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Percy Jackson and the Singer of Apollo, Demigods of Olympus, Camp Jupiter Classified: A Probatio's Journal, and Un Natale Mezzosangue Boy, is that a m...
231: Friendship Ended With Nico di Angelo...
13 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The Court of the Dead, ch. 37 to 41 The Court of the Dead is over. Nico di Angelo and his ridiculous little adventures have drawn to a close (for now)...
230: Conditions of Absolute Reality
06 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The Court of the Dead, ch. 32 to 36 This week on Unwise Girls we discuss the problem with holding your cacodemon in public, total world-shattering cha...
229: Don't Call Them Monsters, Bro!
30 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The Court of the Dead, ch. 27 to 31 This week on Unwise Girls we discuss the matter of minions, uncomplicated teenage sexuality, justice for thee but ...
228: The One Where We Miss The Kane Chronicles
23 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The Court of the Dead, ch. 22 to 26 This week on Unwise Girls we discuss conditionally granted acceptance, characters dissolving into ooze, the mist d...
227: Will Solace Huge Cargo Shorts
16 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The Court of the Dead, ch. 17 to 21 This week on Unwise Girls we discuss court-approved courts, mythic-approved mythics, women equipped with big rods ...
226: Nico Get iPad
09 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The Court of the Dead, ch. 12 to 16 Ehhh? Unwise Girls? Why, that podcast hasn't released an episode since last year...! But wait, speak up, I can't h...
225: Mr. B
19 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Court of the Dead, ch. 7 to 11 This week on Unwise Girls we discuss the redemption of Lavinia, Mythic panic, how totally funny farts are, the cont...
224: A Measured Response
12 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Court of the Dead, ch. 1 to 6 So, we're now the most current we've ever been with the Rick Riordan books. Crazy! This week, we have a very measure...
223: Mussolini's Favorite Booster Pack
05 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Sun and the Star, ch. 47 to 51 I rthink i Hauve covid Come back next week for The Court of the Dead, ch. 1 to 6 Check out our Patreon! (https://ww...
222: Nyx This Whole Thing
21 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Sun and the Star, ch. 41 to 46 So, we're nearing the end of The Sun and the Star. How about that? The book has had its ups and its downs, but at t...
221: Nectarine
14 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Sun and the Star, ch. 35 to 40 People have been saying it couldn't be done, but we did it: we did a podcast wrong. Come back next week for The Sun...
Nectar of the Pods: Episode 142 - We Do A Revolution
07 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Episode Notes hi everyone! with Jacqueline at Ground Control this weekend (which you should totally watch at https://www.twitch.tv/moonshotnetwork)!, ...
220: The Final Fujo
31 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Sun and the Star, ch. 29 to 34 Happy Halloween - it's an Unwise Girls treat! In an episode that totally wasn't recorded over the course of two day...
219: Grip That Darkness
25 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Sun and the Star, ch. 23 to 28 This week on Unwise Girls, we have to reckon with what might be the fundamental question of this whole book: what b...
218: Like Taking Ragebait from a Baby
11 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Sun and the Star, ch. 17 to 22 This week on Unwise Girls, we are truly red and steaming! We touch on the ways Riordan and Oshiro try and have it b...
217: Requiem for a Care Bear
03 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Sun and the Star, ch. 11 to 16 This week on Unwise Girls, we discuss assuming pronouns, Tartarus troubles, lost chapters being recovered, Nemeses,...
216: The Niccolò 64 Stairs
26 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Sun and the Star, ch. 6 to 10 Look behind you - a new episode of Unwise Girls is out! Now you can continue on your journey and... wait a second, w...
215: You Must Listen! (to our podcast :D)
19 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Sun and the Star, ch. 1 to 5 Welcome back to Unwise Girls - and welcome for the first time to The Nico di Angelo Adventures! That's right, we've r...
214: The Blank Bead
12 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Trials of Apollo retrospective We've had a lot of fun here, folks, but it's important to remember that the most important thing at the end of the ...
213: Absolute Apollo
29 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tower of Nero, ch. 36 to 39 This week on Unwise Girls, despite immense audience pressures, we decided to make some controversial statements. "...
212: Canceled to an Impermanent End
23 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tower of Nero, ch. 31 to 35 This week on Unwise Girls, the Beast has been put down. The children of Nero have been placated. The snake has been co...
211: The Kerfuffle of Manhattan
16 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tower of Nero, ch. 26 to 30 This week on Unwise Girls, we discuss what it's like for something to just be okay. When something's okay, that means ...
210: Big Asterisk On That
08 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tower of Nero, ch. 21 to 25 This week on Unwise Girls, we open the prison bars of mediocrity into the holding cell of pretty good to discuss what ...
209: You Really Trogged This One Up
01 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tower of Nero, ch. 16 to 20 This week on Unwise Girls, we discuss some of the most insidious stuff Rick Riordan has ever put to page. Like, seriou...
208: Now Let's Do a Silly One
25 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tower of Nero, ch. 11 to 15 This week on Unwise Girls, huh. Is that right? Cows? Weird... This one's mostly a lot of cows, I guess. And poop. But ...
207: Honey She Gray
11 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tower of Nero, ch. 6 to 10 This week on Unwise Girls, we continue to tube down the river of good fortune as The Trials of Apollo continues to find...
206: The Rise of Richolas
04 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tower of Nero, ch. 1 to 5 She's back, she's back, and most importantly, HE'S back!!! That's right, folks, the Rick Riordan content you've been gag...
205: Spring Break - The Cursed Carnival
27 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Cursed Carnival and Other Calamities: New Stories About Mythic Heroes This week on Unwise Girls, we are... back to Rick Riordan? Wait, isn't it a ...
204: Spring Break - Professional Wrestling
21 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Professional Wrestling One! Two! ... One! Two! ... One! ... One! Two! Three!!! Wahoo, yippee, Unwise Girls got the pin! And now that we've won podcast...
203: Spring Break - Misericorde
13 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Misericorde: Volume One Lord, forgive us, for we are podcasters. This week, Jane and Jacqueline don their tunics, veils, wimples, scapulars and habits...
202: Spring Break - Tom Taylor's Nightwing
30 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Nightwing (2016) #78-118 + a few others Wham! Bam! Kapow! This week on Unwise Girls, we've donned our masks, capes, and skintight bodysuits in order t...
201: Spring Break - A Memory Called Empire
23 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine Another journey of unwise girls Planned, sketched, set out into the forest Of platformed pines that drop pods...
200: Spring Break - Meet the Hosts
10 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Us! Jane and Jacqueline! It feels just like yesterday that we were talking about a Rick Riordan book and celebrating our 100th episode. Now, we're not...
199: Spring Break - Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead
02 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead (1990 film) This week on Unwise Girls, we begin our Spring Tolerance Break with a story that's completely diff...
198: No Ships Have Sailed
25 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tyrant's Tomb, ch. 38 to 43 This week on Unwise Girls, we say welcome back to one good heckin' praetorino ... and say goodbye to The Tyrant's Tomb...
197: Frankanda Forever
18 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tyrant's Tomb, ch. 32 to 37 This week on Unwise Girls, we say goodbye to a beloved character and give their death all of its due seriousness. One ...
196: Ptolemaic Rizzler
12 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tyrant's Tomb, ch. 26 to 31 This week on Unwise Girls, we ask the question: how can you go from A to Z when you're already starting at X? That's r...
195: Just Date His Sister
04 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tyrant's Tomb, ch. 20 to 25 This week on Unwise Girls, we're touching plenty of grass and breathing in the seeds of our discontent and whatever el...
194: Angry Girls World Premiere
28 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tyrant's Tomb, ch. 14 to 19 This week on Angry Girls, we get real grumpy and pissed off. We talk all about STUFF WE NOTICED that we think SUCKS!!!...
193: Power Trios
21 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tyrant's Tomb, ch. 8 to 13 This week on Unwise Girls... eh? Who are you? Sorry, but I don't remember petty things like names or faces... it's all ...
192: Oppa Pollo Style
14 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Tyrant's Tomb, ch. 1 to 7 Crack open a cold one, girlies, it's time for the penultimate book in Apollo's The Trials of! This week we're starting o...
191: The Cancellation of Porkpie
07 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Burning Maze, ch. 42 to 47 This week on Unwise Girls, The Burning Maze dies and we're finally allowed to grieve. We discuss what Rick is doing wit...
190: Teen Godlings Go!
22 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Burning Maze, ch. 36 to 41 This week on Unwise Girls, we keep it short and sweet as we... uh... seven letters, starts with D.... you get it, right...
189: Losing Our Spark
14 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Burning Maze, ch. 29 to 35 This week on Unwise Girls, we discuss... huh. Well, who could have seen that one coming? We talk about pretty much one ...
188: Joe Walsh's Last Stand
07 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Burning Maze, ch. 22 to 28 This week on Unwise Girls, oops! Maybe we spoke too soon on finally liking the book. We discuss Jane's quirky neuroses,...
Nectar of the Pods: Episode 142 - We Do a Revolution
31 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Revolutionary Girl Utena, ep. 1-3 (sorry y'all no new episode this week! please enjoy the beginning of our coverage of utena instead! if you like it a...
187: Monarch Crush Monday
25 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Burning Maze, ch. 15 to 21 This week on Unwise Girls, we're putting the past behind us as we finally decide we like one of these books! We discuss...
186: Divorce That Demigod
17 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Burning Maze, ch. 8 to 14 This week on Unwise Girls, we've been released from our cryostasis chambers to return to a world of... uh... raging wild...
185: Kneeless In Palm Springs
03 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Burning Maze, ch. 1 to 7 No. I refuse to share this episode of my podcast. It was the lowest, most awful content in my nearly-four-years of podcas...
184: Pokemon Go to the Gas Leak
20 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Dark Prophecy, ch. 38 to 42 We've done it! After what felt like years (despite being, like, basically the amount of time we spend on any book) we'...
183: My Son, the Shadow Man
14 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Dark Prophecy, ch. 32 to 37 The Unwise Girls have scratched and clawed their way back from the hellish depths of illness and pain for one reason a...
182: License and Resignation
29 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Dark Prophecy, ch. 26 to 31 This week on Unwise Girls we discuss fanciful circus ringmasters and Rick's affinity for them, the continuation of the...
181: Doge Poetry
22 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Dark Prophecy, ch. 22 to 25 This week on Unwise Girls we talk about when Rick Riordan does and doesn't use characters' powers to underscore their ...
180.5: The Road to Ground Control 2024
16 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Read Riordan Quizzes - plus, Ground Control! This week on Unwise Girls we take a bunch of quizzes after talking about Ground Control. Come back this w...
180: Commodus Gets Flushed
09 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Dark Prophecy, ch. 18 to 21 This week on Unwise Girls we talk about the circumstances when it's okay to make fun of someone's trauma, the continue...
179: Grinding Griffin Rails
02 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Dark Prophecy ch. 14 to 17 This week on Unwise Girls we discuss when a change in characterization is necessary and when it can cut the impact of a...
178: Getting Lit All Over Again
25 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Dark Prophecy ch. 10 to 13 This week on Unwise Girls we discuss Jane's unwise opinions on cauliflower, Meg's sick new fast travel power, magic 8 b...
177: Trappy McTrapface's Revenge
19 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Dark Prophecy ch. 6 to 9 He finally did it, everyone. This week on Unwise Girls, Rick Riordan has confirmed that lesbians aren't real. May god hav...
Nectar of the Pods: Episode 100 - The Widower's Two-Step
12 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Tres Navarre, Book 2: The Widower's Two-Step (as we wrap up another jane vacation era, we bring back the grand ol one-time tradition of bringing our t...
176: The Eight Linguistic Labors of One Janey Shivers
05 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Dark Prophecy ch. 1 to 5 A new adventure this week! So let's see off Camp Half-Blood and... eh? Wait, what do you mean it's months and months late...
175: Shadows Under the Colossus
28 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hidden Oracle, ch. 35 to 39 This week on Unwise Girls, we close out The Hidden Oracle by talking about uncapitalized-on moments of angst, actually...
174: There Once Was a Man From Olympus
21 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hidden Oracle, ch. 31 to 34 This week on Unwise Girls, we talk about how great it can feel to quit a job - oh, and also about the book, of course....
173: Basically Crucifixion
14 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hidden Oracle, ch. 27 to 30 This week on Unwise Girls, we're finally having a proper introduction to our big villain for the series (or at least t...
172: Horrible Herstories
31 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hidden Oracle, ch. 23 to 26 This week on Unwise Girls: After exploring the mystery of the Great Riordan Website Wipe, we continue on through the H...
171: No More Luke Trauma
24 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hidden Oracle, ch. 19 to 22 This week on Unwise Girls we talk about the animal world turning against Jane, slowing the pace down, missed opportuni...
170: Monsieur Beast
17 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hidden Oracle, ch. 15 to 18 This week on Unwise Girls we talk about a genuine day in the life at Camp Half-Blood, the promise of five straight ban...
169: A Portrait of Our Queer Elders
09 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hidden Oracle, ch. 11 to 14 After a little bit of show-and-tell, this week of Unwise Girls kicks off with us finally getting into groove with The ...
168: Bisexual Amnesty
03 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hidden Oracle, ch. 7 to 10 This time, welcome back to Camp Half-Blood for real! We're here with Apollo, Meg, and all our favorite friends. Now, le...
167: That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Sixteen Year Old Pervert
27 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hidden Oracle, ch. 1 to 6 Welcome back, Camp Half-Blood! Well, okay, not quite yet, but... welcome back to the Greek myth world of Rick Riordan! T...
166: In Memory of Blitzstone
20 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard retrospective It's funny, isn't it? For a book series we enjoyed so much to close on such a bittersweet note. From...
165: That Just Stinks
13 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
9 from the Nine Worlds This week on Unwise Girls, we read the worst thing we've ever read. Come back next week for our Magnus Chase and the Gods of As...
164: Here's How Odin Can Still Win
29 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Ship of the Dead, ch. 43 to 48 This week on Unwise Girls, Magnus Chase comes to a close(?) as we finish the last(?) book in the series and discuss...
163: Torture Prison is Good*
22 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Ship of the Dead, ch. 37 to 42 This week on Unwise Girls, we start off strong with a lot of enthusia - wait, Jane, no, take your hand off the stee...
162: The Skittys and the Wailords
15 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Ship of the Dead, ch. 31 to 36 This week on Unwise Girls, the brainworms that drive us toward toxic yuri have infected us; unfortunately, they als...
161: Strong Male Friendship
08 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Ship of the Dead, ch. 25 to 30 This week on Unwise Girls we talk about the unfortunately platonic-seeming relationship between Hearthstone and Bli...
160: Own Goal Car Bomb
31 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Ship of the Dead, ch. 19 to 24 This week on Unwise Girls we talk about Jane's big travel mistake, a pretty dead-on depiction of York, the psycholo...
Nectar of the Pods: Episode 69 - Big Red Tequila
25 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Tres Navarre, Book 1: Big Red Tequila while the janes are away (on vacation), the jacquelines will play (by putting up the first episode of our covera...
159: Thank You, The British
17 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Ship of the Dead, ch. 13 to 18 Remember feet? We used to laugh about feet. Nowadays, when feet come up, all we can do is sigh and shake our heads....
158: The Orange Man Bad Cometh
10 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Ship of the Dead, ch. 7 to 12 This week on Unwise Girls we pull into the very first stretch of our final adventure and discuss the very first Oran...
157: Magnus's Cousin's Boyfriend with the Prius
03 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Ship of the Dead, ch. 1 to 6 If you haven't trimmed your toenails yet, this book may yet be your reminder. We've entered the final book of Magnus ...
156: Put That Girl on T
26 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hammer of Thor, ch. 51 to 57 (cw for mentions of suicide throughout the episode) And so we've reached the end of The Hammer of Thor! It's been a j...
155: Taco Bell xD
22 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hammer of Thor, ch. 46 to 50 This week on Unwise Girls, Jane and Jacqueline are... a bit disgruntled as they discuss Hammer of Thor has swerved aw...
154: Aaahhh~
13 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hammer of Thor, ch. 41 to 45 (content warning: this week we talk about the book's questionable inclusion of a looming threat of sexual violence ag...
153: Fear of the Year
06 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hammer of Thor, ch. 36 to 40 The Moonshot Patreon carolers have come a-calling once again, and Unwise Girls carries on! This week we discuss chapt...
152: iPhone Before God
29 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hammer of Thor, ch. 31 to 35 This week on Unwise Girls we talk about what's churning around down there Spider-Man style for Heimdall, the great Sa...
151: Live! From the Hole
23 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hammer of Thor, ch. 26 to 30 I feel I should clarify up front that this is not, in fact, our first ever live episode. The title might be confusing...
150: Death by HOA
16 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hammer of Thor, ch. 21 to 25 Time to shred some wicked pipe! This week on Unwise Girls, we're bringing a brand new energy in as we enter the brand...
149: Fury of the Squirrel
08 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hammer of Thor, ch. 16 to 20 This week on Unwise Girls, we've found the cure for Rick Riordan's Second Book Sucks Ass Syndrome! Let's turn up the ...
Nectar of the Pods: Episode 111 - Iron and Nectar
01 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
jane got sick so no episode this week :( listen to the first episode of our iron blooded orphans coverage instead! if you like it, you can find the fu...
148: Turngoat
24 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hammer of Thor, ch. 11 to 15 This week on Unwise Girls, we discuss some serious historical gender diagrams, tie up some loose ends from the first ...
147: Magnus Chaser
17 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hammer of Thor, ch. 6 to 10 This week on Unwise Girls, we're kind of stumped. Rick Riordan... provided us with free material for the Not Cishet se...
146: Jack and TJ Get Their Groove Back
09 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Hammer of Thor, ch. 1 to 5 We're finally back to books, hooray! And it's good!! This week on Unwise Girls we discuss returning to the edge, low-le...
145: A Mid Journey's End
03 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Percy Jackson and the Olympians, S1E7 to S1E8 Ask not what Disney can do for you, but what you can do for Disney. This week on Unwise Girls, Audrey jo...
144: The Naiad Connection
27 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Percy Jackson and the Olympians, S1E5 to S1E6 This week on Unwise Girls, we're a bit lost in this here hotel and casino... in fact, I can't even remem...
143: Stephusbandry
19 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Percy Jackson and the Olympians, S1E3 to S1E4 This week on Unwise Girls, we're joined by our very special guest for this run of the TV show - Moonshot...
142: Underwear Deflation
13 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Percy Jackson and the Olympians, S1E1 to S1E2 Three years ago, the Unwise Girls began their journey through The Lightning Thief. This week, we go back...
141: True Trickster Drip
30 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
The Sword of Summer, ch. 71 to Epilogue This week on Unwise Girls, we're officially putting a bow on The Sword of Summer! We discuss our first ever ep...