If you’re trying too hard, you’re already out of the conversation.The bougie dialect isn’t about what you say—it’s about what you don’t say. Or better yet, what you say just ambiguously enough that only those in the know will catch it. Like a secret handshake made of syllables.This is the language of people who call their second home “the house upstate,” even if it’s a compound in Jackson Hole. Who refer to their friend with a private plane as “someone I used to work with.” And who, no matter the occasion, always seem to have a “thing in the city” the next day.Welcome to Bougie-ese.Rule #1: Name-Drop Without Actually Dropping NamesYou don’t say “I had dinner with Bill Gates.” You say, “I was at this thing with a few folks in philanthropy.”If pressed, you clarify just enough to seem humble. “Oh, it was a small gathering—Bill was there, but we didn’t talk much.” See what you did? You mentioned Gates without sounding like you care. You’re not bragging—you’re burdened by how casual your elite access has become.This tactic also works geographically:· “We usually do Maine in the summer.” (Translation: Coastal Kennebunkport estate.)· “We were skiing in France.” (Translation: Courchevel. Maybe Verbier. Never Aspen.)· “We’re doing a bit of Europe.” (Translation: You’ll be tagging Lake Como, but only on Stories.)Rule #2: Always Be UnderstatedThe bougie never say they’re “excited” or “thrilled.” That would be gauche. Instead, everything is “lovely,” “interesting,” or “refreshing.”You didn’t love the wine—you found it “very drinkable.”You weren’t blown away by the beach house—you said it had “a nice sense of place.”Your three-week Mediterranean yacht charter? “Relaxing. Too much sun, really.”It’s not about hiding enthusiasm. It’s about disguising it as practiced indifference. A calm “we’re spending time in Portugal” will always beat “OMG GUYS, I’M GOING TO PORTUGAL!!!”Rule #3: Euphemism is EverythingBougie types never say someone’s rich. They’re “comfortable.”They don’t say someone’s broke. They’re “figuring things out.”People aren’t annoying. They’re “a lot.”A party isn’t boring. It’s “intimate.”The chef’s new menu isn’t bad. It’s “a departure.”If you say what you mean directly, you risk being labeled crass. The art is in the artifice. And if all else fails, just sigh and say, “It was… something.”Rule #4: Learn the Bougie Conversation Topics (and What to Avoid)Safe:· Travel (past or upcoming, ideally to places with cobblestones and questionable Wi-Fi)· Books (but only if they have deckled edges or were recommended in The New Yorker)· Food (local sourcing, obscure restaurants, vintage olive oils)· Real estate (passive references to “the renovation,” never Zillow listings)· Education (private school application trauma is a love language)Risky:· Money (you can own wealth, but you never talk about it)· Work (unless it’s “advisory,” “consulting,” or something you do “on boards”)· Politics (unless it’s a shared liberal despair over the state of everything)Never:· How much you paid for something· Cryptocurrency· The...

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