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Chapter 1: What happens in the season finale of Real Housewives of Rhode Island?
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Well, hello and welcome to Watch Our Crap. It's a podcast about all that crap on Bravo we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker joining me today on our own little private block island. It's the one and only Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Well, hello. How are you? I'm good. I just want you to know that I did put a tracker on your car, but it's only because I love you.
I want to make sure you're safe.
I just want to know when you're getting nearer.
Yeah, that's it. We are talking about the season finale of Real Housewives of Rhode Island today. Um, and so that'll be really fun. Check that one out and, uh, we'll have crappy hour next week. I'm sure there'll be plenty to talk about. This is not a crappy hour week. Uh, Ronnie just put up a new newsletter on Patreon. Read what crap ends. Go check that out. That's free for everyone.
You don't, you don't even have to be a Patreon member for that, but we always love it when you join us on Patreon because we have so much to offer there. We have bonus episodes. We have video. We have been talking about love Island recently on Patreon. So that's there. Um, You can see our smiling faces. Once again, Ronnie and I, we just magically match every time we do this.
Look, we're both wearing our dark shirts today. Look at that. Amazing. Just bask in our, in our fashion choices with crap is on demand. And of course you get ad free listening, which hello, that's actually a really cool thing. So that's all that. But right now we have to dive into the Rhode Island season finale. I really have to say that I love this season.
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Chapter 2: Why does Brian install a tracker on Rula's car?
I know I keep on saying every single week you hear me say the same thing. At first I was like, I thought it was okay. But then by the end, I really, I was watching this. I was like, I really do love this show. I I'm really happy with what they've done this season. I think it was great. I'm excited for where it's gonna go next season. And, um, I thought this was a very fun season finale.
What did you think?
It was. I loved it there. Like, Block Island, the most glamorous place in the world. Block Island. We were married there. We had babies there. We raised doggies there.
Like, all right. Block Island. I don't know. I'm in. Sure. It's nice. Looks very nice. Sure. Cold. Looks great. Looks great. Looks lovely. I remember growing up, my friend, Risa. She would talk about Block Island a lot. She was like, I guess her family went to Block Island a lot. So too bad I didn't see Risa in the background. The other thing I was going to say about this.
Now, I forgot what I was going to say about it, but whatever. It was good. I have to say, oh, this is what I was going to say. You know me. I'm not known for being like really up on babies. Yeah.
but there was a i have to say ashley's baby kind of stole the show for me this entire this the everything about this episode was great but for me it really came down to that baby at the end crying at its birthday cake i that just cracked me up like that was my favorite thing that happened the entire episode it's very rare baby steals the scenes for me but it did
Oh, that's a cute baby. All right, let's get into it. Real Housewives of Rhode Island season finale, season one, episode 12. The fairy tale is over. Fairy spelled F-E-R-R-Y.
Get it. So we're at Rola's house. Guys, your dreams come true. We are going to start with a Rola packing scene. Here she is. Oh, Jesus. This closet is a hot mess. And she holds up a captain's hat. brian got this for me this is my birthday girl captain hat the awkward sound of your microphone was the perfect sound effect right there that was the perfect time for a microphone adjustment Wow.
What a guy.
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Chapter 3: What are the main conflicts during the Block Island trip?
I said it. Selena looks at her like, um, no. You're going like three miles away. And I get to run this bitch myself. Get out of here, ma.
So she opens the door and drops her suitcase down the stairs. And she's like, uh-oh, Billy. And then we go over to Kelsey, who's talking to Liz on the phone. They're packing for Block Island, guys. Everybody's going to Block Island. And the guys are going to come on this one. And Kelsey tells us, Block Island is one of the most beautiful places that Rhode Island has to offer.
This episode made me kind of sad, just with how Kelsey talks, because... She doesn't know like basic grammar, you know? Like there was a guy on Love Island who was like, this is for both of our lives. Or was it on this show, was it the husband on this show, Ashley's husband? Someone kept saying it like, this is for both of our lives.
You know, we really...
There's definitely been some interesting grammar on Love Island. I mean, Love Island is not where I'm, you know, turning to to hear like some NPR level commentary on anything. But this show also is sort of in that space. I mean, Love Island, Rhode Island, it's just the island shows on reality TV are, you know, giving us interesting spins on the English language.
Yeah, I mean, it's just kind of like, what are we, are we teaching people things lately? Or is it just, have we just given up? Have we just as a society given up? And I say probably. So she's like, yeah, Black Island's so beautiful.
And Liz is like, Black Island, it's my favorite place.
In a very threatening way. I like that no matter what Liz says now, it's just scary.
everything is scary honestly the name block island is kind of scary when i think of like a tranquil place i don't think block island i think if block like something bad's gonna i'm gonna get hit by a block so kelsey is like this is the perfect place for all of us to to like talk things through and have a good time and i like i have great things planned for the group i want world peace and just like call me miss congeniality i'm like i'm calling you miss barefoot in the trash reality because that's all that's literally all i think of with kelsey now
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Chapter 4: How do Joellen and Liz attempt to resolve their issues?
That one with like the pink and the purple glass bits all over it.
yeah like that's that's too much um sorry now there's like a band playing outside i just want to say there's so much happening out there it's like something the world I don't know what's happening outside. The world is ending, but there's also live performances. So Liz says, yeah, you know what? It's a very special island to us. Jerry and I got engaged there. We got married there.
I sat there for three weeks waiting for him to come back with our boat there. I won't say I will never get divorced, but it won't be there. We run a lot of not illegal, not drugs through them.
Black Island. So other couples arrive and stuff. Everyone's hugging. And even Joellen and Liz are like, nice to see you.
Nice to see you, too. I'm happy to see you, dead bitch.
So they even hug. And Joellen's like, my goal of this trip is to move on with Liz. I just still care about her. It's just like an abusive relationship that I keep going back to over and over again. I mean, it's like my mom. It's like my mom trauma. But now it's with Liz. I just don't understand. Why has everyone got trauma with me?
You know what? It's like, I'm like, love me, love me, love me. And they love me. And then all of a sudden they're hurtful and like mean and cruel. And all I want to do is to have that love and feeling back. So then we go to Ashley and Jared and they're arriving at the ferry and Jared has an announcement. We didn't miss the boat.
And then they're still waiting on Rula and Brian, of course, because this is Rula and Brian. That's how they that's how they get attention everywhere they go to just always last or they say they're going to show up and then they don't. This this couple's addicted to the attention. So now they're talking about the party the other night and Rosie's like, it was totally fine.
And, you know, she's like, yeah, it was fine. But that also made it weird. So I don't know. Okay, well, what does that mean? Like, it was weird, but, like, fine. Like, I really don't understand.
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of the 'clamshell confessional' game?
uh so now they're they go to like this restaurant it's freezing cold by the way the waves are like huge because it's clearly like cold and windy and they have to sit at this like beachside restaurant where they're all shivering and they're uh having uh strawberry daiquiris i was like this is an affront to zach thacks and uh they're all gathering they all cheers and kelsey is like okay everyone feel free to set up your stuff whoever this is all oz i'm like yeah of course it's all yours no one's on the beach because it's 33 degrees out
Yeah, it's a day you don't go to the beach, for sure. So now Joellen and Liz go for a talk, and everyone's watching them. Alicia's like, I'm happy to talk in Rosie's like, oh my God, they haven't seen each other in a long time. She's like, no, they actually went out for dinner afterwards, but it didn't end well. And we see a clip of like, bye, bitch. Bye, crazy bitch. Piece of shit.
Piece of shit. Rosie's like, they tried to make up, but they weren't seeing eye to eye. And Alicia's like, I think they're going to move forward. I feel like they've been close for so long. I mean, like, they gotta, they gotta, right? Let's watch them. So the other two go down for a walk and sit on the beach. And Joellen's like, I miss you. I miss you, Liz. And Liz is like,
Agreed. Agreed. There was like a lot of things that was said. Liz still looks like she wants to kick her ass. Liz hates her still. Despite anything she says, she hates her. Joellen's like, you know, there were a lot of things that was said and I just want to move past it. And I think that we have a genuine friendship. Do you? And Liz is like, yeah, I do.
She does not like you and she does not think it's genuine whatsoever. She just does not want to be in a fight with you anymore.
It's like, okay, well, I just wanted to check in. Like, I felt like I was going crazy.
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Chapter 6: How do the characters reflect on their summer experiences?
It's like, you know, I pretty much felt the same way. I don't want to rehash shit. I just do not want to rehash shit. Okay, so, okay. Well, I know that there were some things that, like, you said, and I don't think you meant all those things you said. This is probably, like, I meant every single moment. Every single thing I said, I meant. I mean, there were things that you said as well.
She's like, yeah, exactly, exactly. And the thing is, the thing is that when you say I hurt you, you know, it's going into danger for me. And she's like, well, you didn't hurt me.
Well, what did you say? You put your hands on me.
That's not okay.
But you kicked my chair, and that wasn't nice, okay, because you don't do that. It's not nice to do. It's not nice to do that, Liz.
She goes, well, I asked you to take your hands off me for three hours, Joe.
And so we see a flashback of that, of Jo being like, stop it, Liz. Stop it, Liz. With her hands all over her.
Touching. She's fair. She did touch Liz quite a bit. So that's an extended montage there. So Joellen is like, well, you know, I continued to do it because I thought it would calm you down. She's like, well, you continued to do that because you thought it was fucking irritating. Yeah, kind of, like, yeah, yeah, kind of, kind of, you did that. So Joellen's like, but you were wrong on that one, Liz.
She's like, well okay anyway babe look i don't want to do this and now they're all watching uh but but kelsey takes a moment to admire billy's uh physique because we see billy shirtless playing around in the surf and she's like wow billy's in shape is he wealthy can he support two wives He thinks he's Baywatch coming out of the water right now.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of Brian's actions revealed in the episode?
Like he thinks he's Baywatch. He's got a big ass. Like all his pants always fall off and his crack's always hanging out. That's Bill. That's my Bill. So let me go back to Liz. Pants would not fall off of a big ass, actually. That's what I say. Yeah, tell me about it. I've got a pancake and my crack is always out. There's nothing for it to hold on to, the pant.
You know, the pant's like, oh, give me something, anything. I'm like, nope, that would require work. So... Yeah, back to Liz and Joellen.
Liz is like, so listen, things have been done. Things have been said. Maybe on both our ends, it is broken trust, maybe for both of us. Maybe we can start over from a new place. Something has to get rebuilt here, okay?
Chapter 8: How do the relationships evolve by the end of the episode?
We gotta rebuild something from the start. So Joellen's like... She's like, well, I think that I can move on from this. I don't want to start the friendship over, okay? I actually want to go back to where we were, and I want to improve our friendship. I can move on from things that you said, and I hope you can move on from the things that I said. It's just water under the bridge.
Okay, well, if we're both able to focus on the positive, then okay, certainly that's what I want to do. I mean, listen, you're charismatic. You are. You're fun sometimes. You're funny. Okay, let's just move on, and we'll have a stronger friendship going forward. You good with that? You good with that? Okay. We good with that? You want to hug me? You want to hug me, my friend?
John's like, uh, sure. Okay. So they hug and then they're like being all sweet and they're like rolling around in the sand. And Liz is like, the tension between us actually broke my heart. I adore her. So I'm letting Joellen off the hook. I love that. It's been like two weeks of like, she's fucking evil. We're never going to be friends again. She's a fake person. She should rot in hell.
Yeah, she's a great person. I love her.
Yeah, I'll let her out the hook.
So now with the other ladies, Rula's like, before they come back, I just want to thank you guys for, you know, I know I haven't been around a lot. Between me not feeling well. And then they cut to her like in a full face of glam being like, oh, in her bed. Oh, to, you know, all the other stuff going on, you know, work. having my chops busted, you know, about my marriage.
And so I think that everything just came down on me, girls. Rula's like, you know, I think everything just came down on me. And Kelsey's like, were you able to speak with Joellen? She's like, you know, I haven't spoken with her since Polo. And then we see a flashback of Polo, where Joellen's whispering to Rula, you know what? He can say whatever he wants to you, Rula, okay?
But, like, it's going on. And if you want proof, I will figure it out. And Rula's like... Which is an important clip because Jo Ellen says about 20 more times, she begged me for proof. Yeah. She asked me for proof and I got it, which is like, no.
Well, yeah, I mean, like, because, of course, Rula is going to say, yeah, find me the proof. Find me more proof. I mean, I don't know. But it's true. Like, Joellen definitely inserted herself in this situation. And but like, don't don't get that mistaken for me defending Brian or Rula in this, however. But like at a certain point, Joellen, you just be like, OK, OK.
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