Special Birthday Drop in Honor of G’s 50th!!!
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Why do birthdays often lead to feelings of disappointment?
Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things. Pod squad, it is birthday month for Amanda and me. I actually am turning 50 this month. And if you've ever had a birthday that made you want to crawl into bed and also throw a parade and also cry in the shower and also text every person you've ever loved, like, are we okay? Welcome. God, birthdays can be hard and weird and great. It's like birthdays are not just cake day. They're also this like like a pop quiz, like some kind of referendum on do I matter enough? Do I have enough friends? Am I loved? Have I achieved what I should have achieved? Am I really seen? And if the answers don't arrive in the exact form we imagined with enough texts from friends, big plans made by our people, constant enthusiasm, proof we're loved, our brains go, well, that's that.
I am unloved. Good times. In this episode, we try to name why birthdays bring so many feels, how expectations set us up for failure, and how comparison eats us alive, how time turns into this tyrant with a clipboard. And we talk about what actually helps, telling the truth about what we want, dropping the secret tests, practicing gratitude for what is, and most importantly, learning how to celebrate each other outside of one single day. So none of us is waiting once a year to find out if we're loved. Okay. Let's take a deep breath and let's fix birthdays.
Okay, well then. What you doing, babe? Why are you screaming like that?
I just had to do a yawn, ha, ha. I just needed, I needed to do a yawn, ha, ha.
Okay, what's a yawn, ha, ha? What is the ha, ha?
I just, you know, sometimes when you're like, yawn, ha, you ever do that? Like you need to like, ha, it out.
Okay, I'm so excited that this is recorded.
Okay.
I just feel like I have been suffering for so long with Abby's need to make every bodily function terrifying. Like the sneeze would register on the Richter scale with how loud it is. And even the yawn, which is like a quiet thing. And then there's like an animal scream after.
It's not a quiet thing for me.
That's it. That's right.
That's right. This is a thing in our marriage that isn't going to change. This is what we're going to keep doing until we're dead. Yeah. This is the only area of my marriage in which I've been able to actually achieve radical acceptance.
Well, that's good. So who's loud? Who's the loud sneezer?
Oh, John sneezes so loud that I feel like there's no way he's not making that up.
That's what she thinks too, I think. I think they think it's performative, but I promise you, it's not. It's not.
Our marriage was in real, real shaky ground one day on a plane where Bobby was a baby and I was having a panic attack because he was bawling and we were flying on an eight-hour flight. Bawling, bawling, bawling. We hadn't even taken off yet. I was like, this is going to be eight hours of this. He was an infant. And I had finally gotten him to sleep. And it was like a full body experience of anxiety for me. And I was holding him and my whole body was tense. I was holding him in the most uncomfortable position because that was the only way I could get him to not be screaming.
What are some revealing birthday stories shared by Glennon, Abby, and Amanda?
And as soon as he fell asleep, John sneezed and he woke up and I was like, This is your child now. Yeah, this is your child now. Forever. Wow. And then you feel crazy because you're like, you can't do anything to control that. Allegedly. But I feel like you can. I feel like you can too. It's so scary. I'm telling you, we can control it. I have done it. When I'm out in public, I'm like this. I like swallow it. Oh, so I should have filed that day because I could have done it. No, but my eyeballs are about to pop out of my face. Well, so were mine. I was holding a baby for eight hours and basically with my body upside down. Yeah. Yeah.
This isn't either here nor there. Well, it is here and there is where it is. And everywhere. What I do because I am not a very good person is that I blatantly withhold my God bless you's when the sneezes are too loud. Are you kidding me? Nope. I can't believe you haven't noticed. I will not say God bless you to a loud sneezer.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why do birthdays often lead to feelings of disappointment?
0:00–3:40
2
What are some revealing birthday stories shared by Glennon, Abby, and Amanda?
3:40–6:32
3
How do birthdays serve as a test of worth and love?
6:32–9:53
4
What secret tests do we impose on ourselves during birthdays?
9:53–14:47
5
How can we celebrate each other throughout the year?
14:47–18:24
6
What are the common expectations we have for our birthdays?
18:24–23:16
7
Why is gratitude important in reshaping our birthday experiences?
23:16–27:23
8
How can we make birthdays more meaningful and less stressful?
27:23–54:41
Speakers
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