#357 - Daddy’s Back

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We Mean Well 58 min 3 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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How does Jack introduce himself and the podcast after returning?

Unknown 0:00
It is Wednesday, my dudes.
Louise Adal Din 0:03
Hello, Bedwetters, and welcome back to the We Mean Well podcast, hosted by Louise Adal-Din and Jack Archdale. Strap yourselves in for what will be a truly insightful and life-changing experience.
Jack Archdale 0:15
Welcome back to another episode with a guest.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 0:19
Has anybody got any bloody Werther's Originals? No, I've got, um... Any hard lollies?
Jack Archdale 0:25
I've got some fisherman's friends.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 0:27
That'll do. My nickname's Lolly.
Jack Archdale 0:31
Hard lolly. I've got a hard lolly. Can you run me through your kit? Well, welcome back to Jack Archdale.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 0:41
Thank you. Daddy. Input, clapping, cheering sound.
Jack Archdale 0:45
Yeah, yeah.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 0:46
How are you?
Jack Archdale 0:48
So let's run through. So you've got some New Balance shoes.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 0:52
Not quite sure. What do you mean?
Jack Archdale 0:54
New Balance shoes.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 0:55
High socks. They're comfortable. They're good, literally good for balance and for walking. And then you've got quite high socks. That's just snake protection.
Jack Archdale 1:05
Three-quarter denim shorts.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 1:08
You get the warmth of a jean, but the movement of a short.
Jack Archdale 1:12
A jort.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 1:13
It's a jort. I find them to be extremely practical.
Jack Archdale 1:16
And you've got a bum bag. What's in there?
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 1:20
Many things.
Jack Archdale 1:21
You probably have Werther's in there, somewhere at the bottom.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 1:23
I thought I did have Werther's in my fanny pack, actually. We don't use bum bag, us dads. Fanny pack.
Jack Archdale 1:31
And a polo.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 1:33
You get the class with the collar, but the convenience and breathability of a T-shirt. To move and groove. So, listen, before, you know, as a father, this is the new 75 hard and it doesn't, the worst thing is it lasts for way fucking longer.
It doesn't end.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 1:58
It doesn't end. Look, as a father. You know, I've just looked back at my life before and I realised I was this, you know, young, cool, groovy guy, you know, going about being this little fashionista around the bloody eastern suburbs of Sydney and bloody, you know, wearing all the cool things.

What dad wardrobe and practical gear does Jack describe first?

Jack Archdale 2:16
Linen.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 2:17
You know, linen and looking, you know, flasher than Gordon. And I just thought, as a father now, I realise how vapid that is. I realise the vapid nature of that.
Jack Archdale 2:26
I think you need a bucket hat.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 2:28
No, well, this is actually I went to the state of origin.
Jack Archdale 2:31
Holy shit, without the hair you actually look like a loser dad. Sorry? Because your hair is like slicked back.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 2:39
What do you mean?
Jack Archdale 2:40
Like you.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 2:41
I look like a loser dad. So I just thought, you know, from now on it's practicality and this is what this is. It's not a fashion statement. It's pure practicality.
Jack Archdale 2:53
I like the stance you've got as well. Thank you. I won't spread my legs too far.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 2:58
No, I wouldn't. We fucking.
Jack Archdale 3:01
Oh. I want to stick the place out. He's back. Don't clap at that, Violet. Can I bring something up with you when I come over to your house? Please. You're with your father now. You know how I always do the half up, half down?
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 3:22
Yep.
Jack Archdale 3:22
And you always go, that's my favourite hairstyle for a chick. You've been rocking it.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 3:28
Louisa, I have been rocking it.
Jack Archdale 3:30
I wanted to like cry with laughter. Why didn't you? I don't know.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 3:34
I think I almost specifically did that knowing you were coming so you could tease me. But I'll tell you why I do it. I'll tell you why I do it. I do it at home. No, I don't do it out.
Jack Archdale 3:44
Yeah.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 3:45
Because my hair is so long now, it's fucking annoying and I'm sick of doing this.
Jack Archdale 3:51
You had to fall half up, half down. I tie it.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 3:54
I just tie it. It's like a top knot. I just tie it. See what I mean?
Jack Archdale 3:57
He could use a claw clip. You know a claw clip, right? That's like girls do the claw clip. You could do that. Daddy could do the claw clip.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 4:05
Sounds like a dancer in the 60s. Come over here and do the claw clip. Come over here and do the claw clip. Get around and do – yeah, Chuck is one of them. Can you do a pony? Yep. I'd love to see a greased up pony on you. Well, as I was saying – No, he does like the middle part. Oh, no, that's right.
Jack Archdale 4:21
It was all slick.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 4:23
You're dead right. You know, before I was a father.
Yeah.
Judge (guest who is now a dad) 4:28
I'd go around hair willy-nilly, you know, looking like bloody Brendan Fraser from the Mummy series, you know, hair everywhere. I looked like a bloody surfer or a skateboard. You do look older. Well, and I just thought, no, practically, if we could just.
Jack Archdale 4:47
No, it was a bit lower. No.

How does Jack describe the emotional reality of becoming a father?

Jack Archdale 4:49
No, it was not like that.

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