Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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We Might Be Drunk 1h 26m 6 speakers transcribed
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Sarah Tollemache 0:07
Hey, we're here. We might be drunk. Look at this. We got old Sammy the Bull as usual. And then our special guest, the prom king and queen. Absolutely. Joe List and Sarah Tolomash.
Joe List 0:20
Here we are on opposite sides of the couch the way we like it. Right. Couples therapy, how is everything? Two men in between us, the way I always... You guys used to have the bit about first class, how you get upgraded, but you wouldn't be able to sit together, and you're like, yeah, we're okay with it. Yeah, no problem.
Mark Normand 0:35
Also, it's really funny. I always think when we don't sit together, if the plane crashes, that I can't be like, can I sit next to my husband while we die? I would just yell. You have to sit separately while we're dying.
Joe List 0:48
I would just yell back, I love you, whatever. Well, that happened a lot because I would buy, so oftentimes I've bought a ticket before and then Sarah decides, oh, I want to tag along some bullshit. So I'll get her a ticket, but first class has already taken up. And then there was one guy, a big Texas guy was like, cause I was already in my seat, obviously. And Sarah got on half an hour later and I was like, Hey, I love you. And he was like, now I'm out of believe that's your wife going back there. And I was like, yeah, you know, and he's like in Texas, that wouldn't fly, man. You don't let your wife. And I was like, well, she's from Texas and you can blow. Why don't you give her your seat? Aha.
Mark Normand 1:22
Yeah.
Joe List 1:22
Good point. Give her your seat. You're from Texas.
Mark Normand 1:25
This is a good internet argument.
Joe List 1:27
That is good. Well, people think it's crazy. And then Sarah only just recently got pre-check and I would leave her in the dust there too. Oh, that's very reasonable. Yeah. Gotta get it.
Mark Normand 1:36
To get it set up beforehand was so annoying. Like I just didn't feel like going to a Staples.
Sarah Tollemache 1:42
That's how I felt too.
Mark Normand 1:43
Yeah. But now I did it through clear and you can just do it at the airport.
Sarah Tollemache 1:47
Oh, wow. I had to go to Staples.
Mark Normand 1:49
You waited it out. I waited it out, but it took like years.
Joe List 1:51
I think I went to the DMV. I think I did the really shitty one. Yeah, I went to a place, like the pre-check place. And it was fine. It was easy.
Mark Normand 1:59
But it is a game changer.
Joe List 2:00
Oh, it's huge.
Sarah Tollemache 2:02
But what about when you see the pre-check line is longer than the other line? And you're like, how did we get here?
Joe List 2:06
Well, now there's the other one. I don't even want to mention it because I want the line to stay short. But you know about...
Sam Morril 2:11
Yes!
Joe List 2:11
Yeah, bleep that. You gotta bleep that. Well, we keep giving more. You got the fingerprint, the iris. It's gonna keep... There's gonna be a new thing in the year. I don't care. I gotta tell you. Yeah, my balls. I'm a bad... Dip your balls in the little thing. I don't care about it. The government... I've always been like this, even going back to George W. Bush. I've always been a bad liberal... That's a bad word now. That's like the N-word, the liberal. But whatever, a bad... leaning left person because ever since day one i'm like read my emails listen to my phone calls watch this fuck i don't care if i can get on the airport faster i don't care if you read my text i feel bad for you yeah because it's just a lot of a lot of dark horse shit let the government read all my shit we're putting it all out anyway you got the phone you gotta find my iphone they know where we are they know what gay club you're at whatever tiktok knows who you are to a t
Joe List 3:03
Who?
Mark Normand 3:04
TikTok.
Joe List 3:05
Oh, yeah. China. There were the COVID people who were like, I don't want the government, because they were knocking on doors for people to get the vaccine. They're like, I don't want to get the vaccine. And so they know where I am. It's like, they knocked on your door. They found you. They got you already. Right.
Sarah Tollemache 3:19
Well, there is a microchip in there, obviously.
Joe List 3:24
But yeah, in my defense, we have a baby. And when we would fly, because I had clear and pre-check, I would take the baby.
Sarah Tollemache 3:31
Oh. So I'm not a complete monster. Yeah. All right. I guess I am. Remember we went to London? Yes. Yes. Me and him did a TV show in London. They got us free first class tickets. And the wife was like, I want to go to London. And I was like, all right. And it was the same thing. So she sat in the way back of the plane. And I'm in the international first class. It was a whole other ball game.

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