We Might Be Drunk
Ep 264: The Rizzler, Dave Attell, Greg Fitzsimmons, Shawn Murphy - Happy New Year - We MIght Be Drunk
29 Dec 2025
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
We're here. Hey!
Chapter 2: What are the comedians' opinions on body types and stage movement?
Happy New Year. We got Greg Fitzsimmons here. The King Fitstone. I don't remember what you were just saying. Is this gay to sit like this? Yeah, it is gay. What are you doing? What are you, Gavin Newsom?
Chapter 3: What stories are shared about Alaska and pranks?
I think if you have thick legs, it's not too bad. But when you have skinny legs and one like really wraps around the other one. What is with the Irish? They can't develop leg muscle. Or asses.
That's true. You guys have no asses. What is that?
Yeah. It's like Asian women. Yeah. It's like you look at an Asian woman and the perfect lips and the smooth skin.
I fuck both and it's disappointing every which way. Yeah. Really? Oh, yeah.
Chapter 4: Who is the Rizzler and what is his viral story?
Irish man, terrible. Irish man and Asian women, same dick. No, but you're hung.
I'm hung. We've established that.
And on the last episode, Mark made Scott Rogowski talk about his dick.
Yeah.
We were like, what are we doing here? Yeah, well, I thought he had a micro, but he didn't, so I learned.
Maybe instead of headshots, you should have dick pics. Milton Berle is the whole wall.
Uncle Miltie.
Yeah, how are you, Hung? I'm in the middle. I'm like a stock Camry. Right, right.
You know, nothing flashy, but not too disappointing. Good shape? Yeah, solid shape. Curves to the left. As you get older, you have, like, good and bad dick days. Yeah. When you're young, it's always kind of more, and then you get older, you're like, today's a good day. I hope someone sees it. Ah, yes. If they don't ask, I'll show it to someone. Right.
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Chapter 5: What are the highlights of the Oscars discussion?
But I never wrote on the Oscars. Ellen DeGeneres. Oh, we're not getting back into that. Your favorite.
This was on fucking Fox News last time you were on.
I know, last time I was here, it all got picked up on Fox News.
You called Ellen a cunt, and they just ran. I was like, wow.
It was on the New York Post, and then it ended up in London. What is that? What's the paper in London? Hold on, it's the Riz. I know, I know.
I'll see you later at the unboxing. Go ahead, Greg. Something you were doing?
Unboxing sounds like when a woman breaks up with you. Yeah, and then it got picked up in London in The Mirror or one of those big tabloids. So I know Ellen read it because she's in London now. She's in London. And it got a million views on here. She's coming back. She's coming back. Oh, great. For revenge. Can we get her on?
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Chapter 6: What unexpected stories emerge from the Rizzler's appearance?
We owe her that much. I think she might give us less energy than the Rizzler.
That's crazy.
That's crazy. She's coming back to America. Do you think she's going straight to L.A. or what?
Yeah, well, I think she sold all her houses. That was like a billion dollars. Right. And then she moved to England, and I guess she had like a historic farmhouse, and she put on an addition and a cutoff, like a river, an ancient river.
Ooh.
And like the whole town hated her. Oh. I think she might have been driven out. Damn. She's driven out of everywhere. That's two places, two countries, though. Yikes. She's going to be staying with the Rizzler when she gets back.
You heard the Rizz. They live in Staten Island, Queens, New Jersey. I like that guy. He's got a time shift. Yeah, we live in a car. You know, we're everywhere.
Like a jewel, you know what I'm saying?
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Chapter 7: What are the comedians' thoughts on crowd work and audience engagement?
We live in a Walmart, a Kentucky Fried Chicken. Maddie, you know the Riddler, Rizzler.
I have no idea who that is.
I feel like I'm in a room with people that just don't know talent. Did you just want to cuddle them and everything or no?
I wanted him to drink a Shirley Temple.
Oh, that's right.
Is that a Shirley Temple? When he walked in, I was like, who's this small child?
Do you think that's a sexual fantasy, Shirley Temple? Everybody's ankle was blinking.
There must be a pedophile that the Rizzler's like, that's my type. I like round. Yeah. Oh, definitely. He was smooth as an Asian man. What is the... What the fuck is that?
What happened to Shirley Temple?
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