Ep: 268 - Bert Kreischer
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Why are Bert and the hosts joking about leather pants and comedian stage outfits?
Oh, what an entrance. Come on. Leather pants. Who have you become?
Oh, what are you talking about?
Oh, my Lord. Are you a cologne salesman? This outfit was clearly not for us, but I'm excited to get sloppy seconds or whatever this is. This is a Seth Meyers outfit. You're hanging out with Guy Fieri too much. Fieri. It's Fieri. Leather pants. Leather pants is bold as fuck. Dude. How do you get those on with your sweaty ass thighs? Come on.
They feel sexy as fuck. Ooh, that's smooth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn, that's real cow tit. I'm stepping up my road game. I'm stepping up my pant game. Yeah, I guess so.
Well, you're shirtless on stage, so you can only really get pants.
Yeah. Are we rolling? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, uh. Yeah, you know, when I did Lucky, I was like, all my thumbnails are identical. It's me in jeans and shirtless. And so, like, they know if you have a new special because you have a suit on, you know?
And so I got... When you fall off, you wore a jorts, maybe? That's the fucking fall-off special. Oh, jorts. Or a kilt. That could be fun. I got a... That was the Attell joke. Remember, for people wearing kilts, it's pants down, then shit.
Oh, no, he goes, unless you're wearing a kilt. I fucked up his joke. God damn it. When I was a young comic, I was walking through. I used to wear Hawaiian shirts all the time. And I was walking through in the back at the cellar, and he goes, only two types of people wear Hawaiian shirts, party animals or f**ks. Which one are you? And you know me, I was like, I was a party animal. Oh, that's hilarious. No, I decided to step up my pants game because I was like, so I did it in Lucky, and then on this tour, I've been wearing snakeskin bedazzled pants. What the fuck? It's like, why not? You're in an arena. Why not step it up a little bit instead of wearing jeans and, you know? And it's like, listen, if you take yourself too seriously, I would love to go full Eddie Murphy.
Oh, full leather.
How did Bert discover his blood clots and what was the hospital experience like?
Yeah, do you remember? Eddie Murphy wore that. Of course, how could he forget? But what a statement.
Like no one's done, Cat Williams doesn't. You better be a great comic in that fucking, like if you're like a young comic trying to pull that shit off and you're bombing. A bomb in that suit, you're fucking sweaty.
Yeah, Schumer did a leather special. Think about it. Let's talk about what comics wear in specials, right? So I think in all-time specials, it's like a nondescript jacket with a shirt. A suits one.
Nate is kind of similar, too, I feel like.
But it's almost like you don't want the outfit to speak for yourself, right? Yes. But if you're shirtless, why not allow the outfit to complement the conversation? Sure. Interesting. You know?
Yeah, yeah.
But, I mean, you look like a pro wrestler doing a press tour. Thank you very much. By the way, when I wore the steak skin ones out with a top, Owen Hart. We both slipped on that. It wasn't Owen Hart. Wasn't it Owen Hart?
Yeah, that's the one who died. Yeah, yeah. I was like, hopefully you're Owen Hart. I couldn't get it out. I said, Bret Hart. Sorry. Keep going there. We're slow to start this. We're sorry, Bert. We had a couple pods earlier.
Oh, God. And I want a drink. That's the death of podcasting. I know. It is. That's the death of podcasting. It's so true.
When you come in... It's the Owen Hart of podcasting. Yeah. Well, it's like fucking twice. Like, I fucked my wife, and we're like, hey, that was pretty good. And she's like, let's go again. I'm like...
We're only going to ruin it. And then if I come in and I notice you guys don't have energy and I talk a lot, the comments are like, he wouldn't shut the fuck up. No, no, no. Yeah, it's crazy. We're bringing it for you, dude. No, no, we're going to step it up. We're going to step it up. We need a drink. Let's have a drink. I can't drink. We'll drink. What's up? Oh, you didn't hear? Medication? Yeah, blood clots. What?
Yeah, my legs, yeah.
All right, so we won't drink. No, no, no, you drink. You know I never cared about that. Yeah, bad. You all right? In my lungs, yeah. Yeah. blood clots fuck guys guys i'm saving it for rogan so is that from drinking or no it's from passing out on a plane passing on a plane with your leg like this what yeah it's like just inactivity on a plane i flew back and forth from la to the east coast about probably about five times from december 18th to new year's eve okay and uh nashville included but um
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why are Bert and the hosts joking about leather pants and comedian stage outfits?
0:06–2:11
2
How did Bert discover his blood clots and what was the hospital experience like?
2:11–16:35
3
Will going on blood thinners and quitting booze change Bert’s act and touring plans?
16:35–38:55
4
How did weight loss drugs, fitness and Ozempic/Terazeptide shape Bert’s health and material?
38:55–51:25
5
How did Ozempic and weight loss affect Bert’s health and habits?
51:25–54:12
6
What went wrong with selling a baby’s ‘first word’ and billboard moments?
54:12–57:11
7
How did Bert pitch and develop his Netflix show Free Bert?
57:11–1:01:33
8
What career lows and comebacks shaped Bert’s comedy journey?
1:01:33–1:43:11
Speakers
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