310: Occasionally Fartzan & Ripoff Artist

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We're Here to Help 1h 6m 7 speakers 4 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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HeadGum (Podcast Ident/Outro) 0:01
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Jake Johnson 0:34
And we are back. Jake. What's up, G-Man?
Gareth Reynolds 0:43
Update us, because Kat Reitman, by the way, people should check out Kat and I are, you know, doing some Fridays every now and then. People are loving it, Gareth. But she said on a group text yesterday, you were her algorithm. I wouldn't go that far. But, I mean, you were out there.
Jake Johnson 1:04
I did an old school press tour for the dink. Apple's no joke. They really, I thought these kind of press tours were done. You did everything. I was pushing. And I got to say, a lot of chatter about our podcast.
Gareth Reynolds 1:21
Now, we'll get to that. And it's spreading, GR. Let me say, and I mean this, as someone who has wanted to be in entertainment his entire life, grew up watching talk shows, evaluating the performance of the person on the talk show, you're very good at it. Thanks, pal. I told you, Pam and I watched the Seth Meyers one on a loop. We watched your Daily Show. We watched your Today Show.
Jake Johnson 1:50
I've seen multiple podcasts.
Gareth Reynolds 1:52
You've been into it. Stalking. But you didn't keep repeating shit.
Jake Johnson 1:56
No, I'm trying to make new stuff up.
Gareth Reynolds 1:58
And you were great and self-deprecating, all that stuff. But also... I haven't talked to you a lot about the dink. It made me be like, I really want to see the dink.
Jake Johnson 2:08
No way.
Gareth Reynolds 2:09
Okay, good.
Jake Johnson 2:10
But I'll tell you what I did do.

How did Jake and Gareth react to Jake’s morning show press tour and Lamorne Morris jokes?

Gareth Reynolds 2:12
Okay.
Jake Johnson 2:12
And this is something I'm proud of.
Gareth Reynolds 2:14
All right, talk to me.
Jake Johnson 2:16
Our enemy as a community, we have one enemy. It's Lamorne Morris.
Gareth Reynolds 2:27
His little show that I believe is off the airwaves. You were cleaning up some messes out there for sure.
Jake Johnson 2:33
The morning after podcast.
Gareth Reynolds 2:36
We're now the morning it's lost.
Jake Johnson 2:40
Us and nobody else.
Gareth Reynolds 2:44
Well, he went out and depressed, and he kind of dropped landmines.
Jake Johnson 2:48
But he has been killing me.
Gareth Reynolds 2:49
Yeah, he dropped landmines around.
Jake Johnson 2:50
And going so much harder than I was going.
Gareth Reynolds 2:53
Well, he said that you weren't doing the New Girl reunion.
Jake Johnson 2:58
Because, first of all, I was like— You hate the fans. Well, I had said that about him first. But he said, because I'm a street corner flasher.
Gareth Reynolds 3:09
Well, he also said.
Jake Johnson 3:10
On the Today Show.
Gareth Reynolds 3:11
He also said you're having an affair with J-Lo.
Jake Johnson 3:14
With Jennifer. And he did that on multiple ones. Yeah. Then he said on a real interview. I think it was for people. Jake Johnson claims to have had an affair with Jennifer Lopez and he's got photos. And when he shows me, it's just nudes of himself. Yeah. So I'm like, you are the dumbest person on planet Earth. I was not planning on using this press tour for him. The Today Show, you don't do any pre-interview. So I don't know what they're going to be talking about. And it's morning, so I'm trying to be as respectful to the format as possible. I was actually there. Check out TMZ. There was an intruder who broke in and went after Al Roker and Craig, the host, subdued him. I saw the whole thing.
Gareth Reynolds 4:04
What?
Jake Johnson 4:05
Craig's a beast. By the way, Craig's the real dude, man. Wow. Craig could have kicked his ass. I heard it first. I heard like, hey, hey, what are you doing? You can go to jail. And I thought, ooh, someone's about to get their ass kicked. And then I looked up, and it was Today Show Craig. And what I really thought was, don't let these cameras fool people.
Gareth Reynolds 4:28
Yeah. Well, let's be honest, though. Roker sat there.
Jake Johnson 4:32
Craig. Roker wasn't. Craig protected Roker. Roker wasn't even near it. He never even got close to A.R. But so I am about to go on, and one of the segment producers said, don't bring it up. And I was like, oh, man, you just, for me? Killing me. You're killing me. I want to fucking talk about Craig being a hero. Not all heroes wear capes forever.
Gareth Reynolds 4:57
Yeah.
Jake Johnson 4:58
So we're doing the interview. We're tugging pickleball. It's all fine. It's fun. Then they go, do you mind if we show you a little something from Lamar? And while I'm on the Today Show, I have to watch clips of Lamar talking trash.
Gareth Reynolds 5:13
Yes. With a straight face, like you said. He sells it pretty well. He's not like being affable. He's like, I'm upset about it.
Jake Johnson 5:20
He hates the fans. I will say, and our community knows this, but this is becoming my favorite running bit that – Maybe I've ever been a part of. We are doing these stupid jokes on real press.

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