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Chapter 1: What is the main question asked in this podcast?

6.663 - 29.599 Max Rushden

podcasts there are millions of them some might say too many i have one already i don't have any because there are enough politics business sport you name it there's a podcast about it and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day but nobody is covering the most important topic of all why is that are they scared too afraid of being censored by the man

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30.068 - 37.877 David O'Doherty

Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters. We try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday?

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37.897 - 38.738 Max Rushden

What did you do yesterday?

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38.799 - 45.006 David O'Doherty

What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday. Nothing more.

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45.026 - 49.451 Max Rushden

Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life?

49.712 - 71.15 David O'Doherty

Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushton. And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday? Hello and welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday. My name is Max Rushton. Alongside me today, David O'Doherty. And today's guest, one of my oldest friends in comedy. Yeah.

71.69 - 81.219 Max Rushden

It still makes me laugh every single time. I think because I'm ready to do a good intro and then you just... I ruin it.

81.399 - 91.328 David O'Doherty

Yeah. When you booked Paul Williams, I thought, oh, the former Coventry centre-back from the 90s. This is interesting. I wonder what he's up to these days. But I was mistaken.

91.308 - 120.15 Max Rushden

Paul's an extraordinary... So people might know him as the Alex Horn on New Zealand Taskmaster, which among Taskmaster aficionados is one of the hipster ones. People might know him as... So he's a wonderful comedian, has done the Edinburgh Fringe, Melbourne Comedy Festival, all of these several times. But he also has a parallel career as an R&B artist, where he has released...

Chapter 2: How has Paul Williams adjusted to fatherhood?

163.66 - 172.277 David O'Doherty

Joe Thomas, Tim Key. Rose Matafeo. Yeah, some pod alumni. And Joe Thomas, who was meant to do it, but he didn't turn up on the right day.

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172.409 - 196.935 Max Rushden

This is a lovely yesterday from... He's a man whose life has undergone large changes in recent times. The beautiful child is on the scene. And then you also see what I got from it is how much you lose your mind when you're making a TV show, particularly in the editing process. It's one of my all-time favorite What Did You Do Yesterday bits.

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197.495 - 211.825 David O'Doherty

This is what Paul Williams did yesterday. Paul Williams, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

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211.885 - 213.488 Paul Williams

Thank you so much for having me.

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213.969 - 229.256 David O'Doherty

This is exciting, David, because now we're really into the low single figures of New Zealanders. So we can really now draw a picture of the whole of New Zealand, depending on how many cows Paul tries to tag during his yesterday.

229.316 - 231.981 Paul Williams

How many New Zealanders have you had on here so far?

232.012 - 240.012 Max Rushden

We've had Guy Montgomery, Rose Matifeo, Brett McKenzie, and I think Paul Williams. So I think that's enough.

240.032 - 241.456 Paul Williams

Oh, wow. Okay, I'm actually happy with that.

241.836 - 249.295 David O'Doherty

And Richard Hadley, Dan Carter, Jacinta Ahern, Ardern, and five people who were in Shortland Street.

Chapter 3: What unique experiences did Paul have while filming?

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322.782 - 345.06 Paul Williams

Because I was running late to the set, but the street was very flat. So I didn't obviously put my handbrake down and the car had very slowly done this after I had left. And I was freaking out. And, you know, we did like probably 10 takes of different angles and I'm looking every time and I see the owner of the house has come out and is like looking at it.

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345.04 - 364.213 Paul Williams

And I'm freaking out and then when I was wrapped and free to go I quickly went up to see the damage and the car had stopped like about a foot short of hitting the house but the owner had left a note under the windscreen wiper and I pulled it out and it just said don't park here.

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364.193 - 382.092 Max Rushden

it's funny because they do say from an acting point of view it was your best work so now you can only act with intense jeopardy of a slow moving car moving towards a suburban house I wish that was the case.

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382.193 - 394.078 Paul Williams

My performance was shocking. Like, cause my main word was Pete, like asking the word Pete, but I was putting way too much of a T on the end. Like it's like Pete, Pete. Yeah.

394.098 - 418.882 David O'Doherty

It's horrific. Which makes it sound more like you need soil. Yeah. From the garden. Yeah. Yeah. And it's trickier when you're finally in the Avengers. I just don't think you're going to be able to see your car where it's parked on set. I just think those, if you put, I demand that I have to park my Datsun Cherry within view of Tony Stark's laboratory, it's going to be tricky, isn't it?

418.922 - 422.027 David O'Doherty

Anyway, none of this, Paul, I'm afraid, is relevant and will not make the edit.

422.007 - 448.118 Paul Williams

well no that scene was filmed yesterday no good stuff you've worked out the workaround to all old anecdotes yeah so what time did you wake up yesterday please paul i have a question the day starts when i wake up or does the day start at midnight very unconventional when you wake up it's when you wake up well we've lost a lot of the day i'm afraid I technically woke up. Actually, I woke up twice.

448.559 - 477.069 Paul Williams

Bit of backstory. I have a newborn baby. Congratulations. And commiserations. Thank you. And so I woke up technically, I went to bed extremely late. And that's why I was going to ask because anyway, I woke up at seven something and I changed his diaper. And it was a bad change. He, without getting into too many details, there was chaos, but I changed it. And then I took him back into the bedroom.

Chapter 4: What is the significance of Gonk in Paul's life?

504.801 - 505.582 Paul Williams

Let's just say that.

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505.642 - 515.016 David O'Doherty

Yeah. Okay, love it. So it's important, David, that we check at some point during the day if Paul has washed his hands, because otherwise it's a troublesome day if he's got to be holding that.

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515.236 - 520.784 Paul Williams

If we're going into that detail, I'll say immediately I washed my hands. Okay, good stuff. Extremely thoroughly.

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520.804 - 536.226 Max Rushden

It'd be a terrible day if Paul, because he is so celebrated and loved in New Zealand, was doing one of those ceremonies where... He had to go to Cuba Street in Wellington and press his shitty hand into the cement for all time.

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536.847 - 548.944 David O'Doherty

Or if he'd become a member of the royal family and there was one of those walk-alongs where he had to meet the Royal Variety Show and he had to shake the hand of every single light entertainment performer from the 90s through to the present day.

548.924 - 574.91 Paul Williams

Luckily, at 7.15 a.m. on Monday morning, I was not doing that. Oh, good. I took him back into the bedroom. I kind of was like, put him back to bed, but he was very clearly hungry. He was doing the mouth touching. So I actually did wake my wife, Simone, and I told her... He's hungry. And so she fed him and I fell back to sleep.

574.93 - 587.091 Max Rushden

Did you get a Domino's? Did you get a, just some sort of pizza, something like that? Like you go on Deliveroo and see if any of the late night places are still going. So you end up getting bang, bang noodle. Game of Pad Thai.

588.052 - 589.174 David O'Doherty

Game of Pad Thai.

589.154 - 608.356 Paul Williams

Oh, for the baby. I see. I was, I was very confused. No, he's currently, he's a big milk guy currently. Yeah. He loves, he loves the milk and he's not, I've tried, you know, floating other stuff to him, but he's not really interested. So milk was what we gave him and I fell straight back to sleep.

Chapter 5: How does Paul describe his day yesterday?

656.915 - 667.432 Paul Williams

So that's kind of our system. It didn't feel like Nirvana because it's just kind of what we've been doing every day. Yeah. But I am sorry. I am sorry. No, no, no, don't apologize.

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667.452 - 676.423 David O'Doherty

It wasn't supposed to be a breath. No, no, no. Like just whatever works. There's your baby. He's benching. He's already like just doing his squat thrust.

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676.443 - 689.639 Max Rushden

He's had his third hair transplant already. And do you wake up with the thud of a shitty nappy hitting the top of your head and a lady shouting, get up?

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689.659 - 717.569 Paul Williams

No, not at all. She's been very generous with letting me sleep in the morning. And I woke up just sort of naturally, I think, or I can't actually remember. I either woke up naturally or Simone gave me a hatch. This is not sponsored, but it's a alarm clock that plays sounds like most alarm clocks do. But it also does slow sunrise light and you can choose the color. Nice.

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717.589 - 731.886 Paul Williams

And I have it set to a sort of nice natural sort of sunrise color. And then it plays this. street singers in Paris singing this sort of song. And that's my wake up.

732.206 - 732.687

Wow.

733.167 - 736.832 Paul Williams

But I can't remember if it was that or if I just woke up, but it was one of the two.

737.352 - 741.297 David O'Doherty

Presumably it's Jola Taxi, Vanessa Paradis. That can be the only song.

741.678 - 751.63 Paul Williams

I do not know the song and I have not managed to figure out what the song is. The loop is quite short though. So it does only play it for about 20 seconds and then it sort of starts up again.

Chapter 6: What challenges did Paul face during his day?

789.698 - 801.816 David O'Doherty

Because it's sort of lunchtime. I don't know, even if you haven't had like 15 hours sleep, it doesn't feel like the crack of dawn. You know, once you're there, you're like, okay, it's sort of a discombobulating time to wake.

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801.948 - 824.371 Paul Williams

It is, yeah. What did I do? At this point as well, I should point out, I wasn't aware I was doing the podcast today. When David messaged me, he actually said, I think he said next Tuesday. And in my mind, I'm always confused over whether that's like the next Tuesday or it's not the coming Tuesday, but the next Tuesday. And in my head, I decided it was the next one.

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824.391 - 831.178 Paul Williams

But then very quickly at 12 something, I think I did message David to say, is this tomorrow or next Tuesday?

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831.158 - 836.949 Max Rushden

and then you hired a Formula One car and just began having this on a speedboat.

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837.45 - 839.333 Paul Williams

I went straight to Las Vegas.

841.136 - 841.797 Max Rushden

With The Rock.

842.559 - 867.814 Paul Williams

With The Rock. My good friend The Rock. Okay, what did I do first? I mean, the first thing is always sort of to go and see the baby's fine. So I kind of located the baby. And I should point out, you haven't even asked location. We stayed the night at my mom's house. And so I go out. I find my baby is being held by my mom. Yeah. And Simone is nearby talking to her. She's sitting...

867.794 - 873.061 Paul Williams

on the computer. She tells me that she managed to fix my mum's printer, which I'd been trying to do the night before.

873.661 - 876.385 Max Rushden

Oh, wow. Was it a paper jam? It was not.

Chapter 7: What are the details about Paul's upcoming show?

926.097 - 945.756 Paul Williams

I've tried to convince my mom to ask for sort of things. At the moment, she's signing a lot of documents and they always offer her to do e-signatures, but she's always like, no, no, no. We will be printing all of these, signing them by hand, scanning them back on. I'm like, I need to show you how to do like an e-sign or.

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945.996 - 965.234 David O'Doherty

Yeah. The thing about DocuSign, I mean, obviously give me any form to sign. I'm not reading it, whatever the hell it is. Yeah. DocuSign especially, I am like clicking through that as quickly as I humanly possibly can. I have no idea who owns this house or who's getting all the money that I might earn. I want to sign it very quickly.

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965.514 - 984.695 David O'Doherty

I think printing, I've found it a very valuable resource of getting to know your neighbours. So in London for about a decade, I lived next door to the celebrated photographer Martin Parr. Have I told this story, David? Yes, you've told all your stories. May he rest in peace, passed away recently. I have to tell them all my stories. But I just used his printing.

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984.715 - 995.102 David O'Doherty

He had great, because they used to print, had massive printers. Yeah. He wasn't in a lot, but like in his office. And then now I get Frank and Janet over the road to do the printing.

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995.122 - 998.992 Max Rushden

So I, as you know, I am an amateur detective.

999.333 - 999.473 David O'Doherty

Mm-hmm.

999.453 - 1014.508 Max Rushden

And Paul's getting his mom to sign stuff that says to me he may be trying to knock her off today at some point. You know what I mean? He's redone the will, that sort of a thing. So we'll try and keep an eye on that over the course of the day.

1014.556 - 1024.089 Paul Williams

I, I'm not going to deny it, but in reality, my dad passed away very suddenly and extremely tragic.

1024.109 - 1025.771 Max Rushden

Oh yeah. I'm so sorry.

Chapter 8: How does Paul feel about the reception of his work?

1052.626 - 1053.367 Max Rushden

Knock her off.

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1053.967 - 1067.821 Paul Williams

No, my mom's, it's actually like an apartment. So there's no garden, but then I suggest, what do we do? I think I might have the first shower. I have a shower and then Simone has a shower.

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1067.882 - 1069.443 David O'Doherty

And then your mom has a shower.

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1070.044 - 1089.066 Paul Williams

She has woken up probably at the crack of dawn. She's already gone for a swim in the ocean and then had a shower. Yeah. So she's, um, My brother always uses the word tenacious with my mom. She's extremely tenacious. And by the way, it's starting to get chilly in New Zealand. So the fact she's still swimming in the ocean is like impressive.

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1089.346 - 1098.218 Max Rushden

Very New Zealand. She probably like ran up a mountain and gathered like a basket of apples as well. Just real proper New Zealand stuff.

1098.238 - 1100.48 Paul Williams

No, she's been out and she's hunted for her breakfast.

1101.602 - 1101.702 Unknown

Yeah.

1102.12 - 1110.976 Max Rushden

She's killed a boar, a wild boar. She killed Crackle from Snap, Crackle and Pop. She's now slow roasting a minute of it.

1112.238 - 1137.292 Paul Williams

So then I sit down, I get on my laptop and I watch the highlights of, well, David in a message reminded me Arsenal played Manchester City. It's a big game. It's a big game. And I say, don't spoil. I need to. So I watched just the extended highlights of that. See that result. And then Simone's finished her shower. I suggest we go for a walk. Interruption.

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