The gang shares their favorite planets, breaks down the fastest animals, and dissects the latest Bigfoot sighting. Rusty almost got poisoned and Will saved an old woman from an escalator disaster. The boys wrap by drafting their favorite variations of Dry January and apps that could be the perfect replacement for TikTok. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR NEW SHIRT: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-pod/products/building-dept-longsleeve HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/playdate TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL. VISIT www.dollarshaveclub.com/playdate AND USE PROMO CODE PLAYDATE FOR 20% OFF $20 OR MORE. ACCELERATOR AVAILABLE ON AMAZON. UPGRADE YOUR ENERGY HERE https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/FB06B38E-F0C2-479F-9DA5-FD4A1C852B07?channel=Playdate PICK UP SOUTHERN COMFORT WHISKEY FOR YOUR NEXT PREGAME OR WATCH PARTY. SOCO IS EASY GOING AND DOWNRIGHT DELICIOUS. https://www.southerncomfort.com/ 00:00 Intro 02:19 Poison 11:53 Futurebirds 17:33 Mars 24:10 The TikTok Ban 31:19 Birds 39:45 Bigfoot Sighting 45:34 War 54:48 Revealing our Secrets 01:00:48 Roadmap 01:03:56 Pitch Submissions 01:09:37 Pitches 01:17:24 This Guy Rocks 01:24:46 Teach Me Something 01:28:35 AITA 01:41:32 No Flush February 01:43:53 TikTok Replacements 01:46:08 Whose Personality are you Stealing? #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What happened that almost led to poisoning?
You're putting me in a mental pretzel, but yes.
What I'm trying to say.
You'll never have to wait more than four days for a play date, I think. Yeah.
Four days.
Thursday, Fridays, five days. You'll never have to wait five days. The minimum you'll have to wait is five days. Next Monday will be our first Monday play date. Should we do announcements that do exist? Okay, yeah. These are announcements that do exist. We're doing two playdates a week. Every Monday and Wednesday. Starting now. It's going to be a blast.
You guys are going to be drowning in playdates. It's literally going to be overwhelming. We're essentially doubling your workload. We're going to give you a lot of homework. Twice as many cameras, twice as many producers. It's going to be mayhem. Twice as many of us. We're going to have stunt doubles. That'd be funny if the Monday episode was just two guys.
We announce it and it's just clearly not us.
That would actually be a great bit. Gavin sits in for you.
And then who looks like me? Stetson Bennett in high school. Stetson Bennett. That would actually be kind of an awesome pod.
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Chapter 2: What are our favorite planets?
It's like the orangest thing I've ever eaten.
It has vitamin D, zinc, and probiotics.
Got a little green juice. It's delish. I feel like green juice is a category. It is, yeah.
Like my wellness shot that's brown is still green juice.
Yeah, exactly. Honestly, it's a miracle I'm sitting here with you guys today. I almost got poisoned on Friday night. It didn't work? No. I came home from the bar and I ordered a pizza on the way. I got hiccups at the bar. I was just like, instead of just... Instead of trying to tough it out here, I'm just going to call it a night.
Oh, you're the guy who said you'd want hiccups for your entire life. I know, he texted me.
No, I texted Lauren and I said like, I was so wrong about the hiccups thing. Yeah. It was unbearable. I hate it. I only had it for four, but my Uber driver was just like, are you okay, man? So I ordered the pizza on the way back. Where'd you get? Margo's. You ever had Margo's? Buffalo shaken pizza from Margo's. Awesome. Oh, I was going to say it was ass.
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Chapter 3: Why do we need TikTok?
no it was awesome awesome have you had the bubble drink piece of margo awesome it was so good um but so i timed it perfectly and the pizza the pizza delivery guy got there like 15 seconds after i closed the door and he was like an evil postmates driver I hate evil Postmates drivers. I opened the door and he was holding my pizza and looking at me like this, Lauren.
I was like, hey, man. He goes, it should be hot. I was like, what? He just walked away. The sticker, the tamper seal had clearly been ripped off, but I was so hungry that I was just like, I don't have a choice. I have to.
And I kind of sat there with it for a couple minutes and was like... this would just not, this would be a dumb way to go down. If like I knew it was, it was the, clearly the most evil Postmates driver of all time. What was his, what was evil about him? The face he was making.
Okay.
It should be hot. And he was like, anyone who's looking at you through their own eyebrows is, it's like, it was like, he was like a cartoon evil guy. He's like, it should be hot. Okay. I like this guy. Granted, I was, I was borderline blackout drunk. So like, I may have been like, I may have like,
I may have like kind of misread the situation, but the way what I gathered from it was like this guy 100% poisoned my pizza. Yeah, he probably did. And I kind of looked at it and I didn't see any poison. I didn't see any poison. And like if he did poison it, he did a good job. He didn't half-ass it.
Like he hit it somewhere. He had the poison like maybe under a piece of chicken or something.
And so I was kind of like picking at it. Didn't see any poison. Was like, fuck it. Ate half of it. Sat there with it. Was like kind of ready to start feeling the effects. Never came. Went to bed. I was ready to start feeling the effects. And was like expecting like, you know, there's a chance I don't wake up. Yeah. Woke up. Ate the rest of it for breakfast. Felt like a million bucks. Wow.
But what's concerning is he ripped off the... Like he did... Yeah, yeah. He did tamper with it. He tampered with it in some way. There wasn't like a piece missing though. No.
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Chapter 4: What is the latest Bigfoot sighting?
Chapter 5: What are the fastest animals?
And so I was kind of like picking at it. Didn't see any poison. Was like, fuck it. Ate half of it. Sat there with it. Was like kind of ready to start feeling the effects. Never came. Went to bed. I was ready to start feeling the effects. And was like expecting like, you know, there's a chance I don't wake up. Yeah. Woke up. Ate the rest of it for breakfast. Felt like a million bucks. Wow.
But what's concerning is he ripped off the... Like he did... Yeah, yeah. He did tamper with it. He tampered with it in some way. There wasn't like a piece missing though. No.
I feel like it also could have been the restaurant. They had to double check which kind it was.
It was just all the things together suggested poisoning.
What would poison look like?
I think it's a green goo. I always pictured a poison like ricin from Breaking Bad. I'm picturing it's like a bubbly green goo in a cauldron.
Your pizza has a cauldron in the middle.
You're like, I don't know. It doesn't normally have this. I bet you're like the hair of a widow. A widow? You said that to me the other day. That brought the house down the other night. I forget the punchline was the hair of a widow. When were we even hanging out? Oh, Scott gave me that potion at Chez Chez. Oh, dude. Chez J? Yeah. He invites literally the worst bar for chilling.
It was like someone was like, all right, let's make a bar, but let's make it impossible to chill there.
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Chapter 6: What are our secrets about the podcast?
Chapter 7: How do we replace TikTok?
Chapter 8: What are our thoughts on Dry January?
The bar he invited us to for happy hour after work on Friday, we show up and it's like a bougie old-timer sailor bar. It was like where sailors would come after a six-month stint in the North Sea.
But they got gold or something, because the food was nice, and they wouldn't let us sit at any of the tables.
There were eight of us, which is like, if that doesn't warrant giving us a booth, I don't know what does. They wouldn't let us sit down. We had to stand. There's peanuts all over the floor.
I'm stepping on peanuts left and right, and it was just a nightmare.
I feel like peanuts on the floor, that is a chill vibe.
but it wasn't but they wouldn't let us sit down and like it was all like stuffy in there and like there also it wasn't like there was like a line to sit down like there was no one at any of the tables there was no one at any of the booths and the woman was like we were like yeah we'll order food and she was like no you can eat at the bar
we were like we can't we're all did they have reservations i guess i don't know it was a whole well i looked it up because i i didn't know what this bar was and it said that it was a famous like old time steakhouse yeah like the food is like nice uh it was a huge misguided it was his fault it was i don't think the place sucks necessarily i think it'd be cool for like a little it wasn't it wasn't conducive to what we were trying yeah but for chilling and hanging out
Yeah, if you want to hang out, Chez J is not the spot to do it. Don't even get me started. The panic that set in when I... Because I was the first one to get there. Oh, yeah, and you realized you fucked up. I realized I fucked it so bad. And I walked in and was just like, oh, this is bad. This is really bad. Because I had told...
eight people that and i'd kind of been making a big stink about like this chill sesh since wednesday and uh i got there and was just like this is bad but people were already like like billy had already called his uber and so i was like you know what let's just see how it goes there was this woman sitting next to us who oh she wanted to fuck all of us she wanted to fuck all of which was crazy an older woman
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