Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
I have a new soap.
Chapter 2: What hilarious incident happened with the toaster?
So I got this app. For soap? No. Well, kind of. Part of it's for soap. It's an app that you scan, and it tells you if there are any, like, bad things. Because my skin's really sensitive, so I'm trying to, like, get all my products down so that they're not going to, like, irritate my skin. And I got this new soap and I was having a blast.
But then I figured bar of soaps kind of like like I just ran through it way too quickly. So I was like, I'll get the body wash version still has a high score. It smells like this is going to sound gross. Do you know when you're washing your body with soap? And you like wash your butt crack. And then there's a smell that's like part soap, part butt crack. No. Or like clean butt crack.
What smells like that? Your crack? No, no. Like your hand after you wash it. I don't think it smells like anything but soap once I've scrubbed my butt crack. Andrew, get my back here.
Chapter 3: How did Valentine's Day plans unfold in this episode?
There's a kind of 80% soap, 20% butt crack. I'm not like virtue signaling here. I've never washed my butt before. So I don't have no idea. Are you being serious?
No.
oh i had a buddy in college that that said he didn't yeah do you remember that we were like talking about i i don't remember your oh we were having like some conversation about like oh when when you're washing your butt he's like what do you mean when you're washing your butt we're like like in your crack and he was like what the fuck well i'm not falling for that and it was he got really embarrassed actually i won't i'm gonna spare his name but
But my soap smells like... The soap itself smells like butt?
Chapter 4: What interesting story is shared about Buffalo?
Before it, but like I will pour it in my hand and before I've done anything, it already smells like... Does it say like pre-assed or anything on the bottle? It's pre-assed. Yeah, it's like... Wait, when does it smell like poop in the normal way? No, no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. An important distinction. The 20% butt crack is not poop smell. It's like... Like sweat?
No, no, no. It's not a smell that exists outside of when the soap is being washed on your body. So when you wash your butt crack, a new smell drops? Yes.
Chapter 5: What significant historical event is discussed?
Okay. And it's not... It's like... It's just clean body. There's a different smell. Soap smells different when it's the thing versus once you washed yourself. And mine already smells like that. But there's one that's associated with your crack specifically. You're sort of rewriting history. I am a little bit because I thought you were going to be like, yes, I know that smell.
Chapter 6: How did childhood experiences shape the hosts' perspectives?
Well, I'm trying to understand how you get the smell. How I get it. The smell that comes a little off your butt crack.
Chapter 7: What unique pitches are presented during the episode?
Right. I'm not saying it doesn't exist. I just don't. Like, are you crouching over to smell? It's. Oh, it's on your hand? Okay. So here's. I'll walk you. I'll walk you. Let's start at the beginning. Yeah. I put the soap in my hands.
I usually rub it all over my chest and I use that kind of as like a home base to get it to different parts of my body so that the body wash doesn't fall out of my hands. Of course. Then once I make it down to my crotch and butt crack, After I'm done with that, maybe before I rinse my hands off to start getting all the soap off, I smell it and there's a different smell.
Maybe I'm just not smelling it. I think tonight you should smell it and get back to me. I'm not going to shower tonight. I've already decided. I'm not fucking doing it. I don't care what happens on the way home. I am not showering.
Chapter 8: What confessions are shared that resonate with the audience?
Maybe I'll shower tonight. Next time I shower, I'll smell after my crack. But here's the problem. But. Thank you. With this new app, 90% of my things have to go. Oh, because they're all, what is the, do you input like specific things about yourself? Or it's just sort of like. I don't think it's like for certain. I think the issue might be, or one flaw is that it's not like. It's not personalized.
It's not personalized. It's just like, are there, are there things that you wouldn't want in your body? So it does food too. Got it. So you can scan things in your fridge or your freezer or your cabinet and it'll. You should scan like a Mountain Dew and see if the app crashes. Your phone starts, like, steaming. But so there are a couple things that are, like, zeros.
Like, I'd scan something, and it was a zero out of 100. Which is bad. Bad. What, like an Oreo? Let's see. Wait, can I see what a Mountain Dew is? It might be a zero. Mountain Dew is probably negative 100. I just wanted, before this goes away, I, on the way, as I was about to come in here, I spilled water. Mountain Dew is a zero. Of course it is. There's not one redeeming quality about it.
That's so funny. Look, I soaked my arm. I had my water bottle in my thing, and I didn't realize it was open, and I leaned forward to throw something out in the trash, and I just... All over myself. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. I thought you meant... I thought you meant it was, like, slowly leaking. Well, it was only out of the hole, but I leaned so far forward that it just kind of... Gotcha.
And it was also one of those things where I was like, ah, why am I wet? Like, it took me a second to... Oh, hey, I'm under... I'm under attack. Dude, the other day I was in my kitchen, and I got my, like, the string from my pants. Right. Like, a little tiny string that was almost invisible. It was like fishing line had come out of the string on my pants and got caught on the cabinet.
And so every time I... You walked right out of your pants? No, it was like the sumo guys. No, no, no. But it was like every step I was like, oh, every step I took away from the cabinet, it was like my pants got tighter and I couldn't figure out how it was related. I swear to God. I mean, it probably all in all was resolved in like 15 seconds, but it was like 15 seconds of like panic.
Like, you know, like when you can't figure out what's happening to you. Scott, get in here. My pants are trying to kill me. Every time I take a step back, my pants get tighter.
Yeah.
Because there wasn't enough tension to move the... Yeah, it was bizarre. Was there a small... Was there even a fleeting moment where you were suspected the paranormal? 100%. There's parts where your mind's like... I don't know. I was like, oh my god. My pants are getting like... I'm going to die from it. It's like...
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