Chapter 1: What story do they share about their flight experience?
POV, you wake up in 2016. My penis sucks. My penis is sucks? My penis sucks. POV, you wake up in 2016. Oh, my penis sucks. I forgot it's this bad. Oh my god, it used to be this bad.
Oh my god, I gotta bet on the calves. I just started a show last night. I'll... jesus lord what the fuck just happened uh 11 23 63 or whatever okay never i was gonna be like how are you getting this hung up on the name but that does seem like if there was gonna be yeah it's the have you heard about this show ranger no it's from like 20 actually i think it's from 2016 roughly
Chapter 2: What unique food experiences did they have in Japan?
But it's like a guy who time travels to go stop the JFK assassination.
Okay.
It's like a Stephen King book. Why- It starts in Maine. Specifically the- Oh, he's a Mainer. He's a Mainer. He's like, I'm going to save the president, but first, pass those blueberries. The guy that created the time portal once- was in Vietnam and wants to stop the death of everyone who died in Vietnam.
And he thinks, and Johnson escalated the war, so he thinks if you go back and save JFK, then they won't. He goes back and he kills Johnson? Yeah.
Everyone's like, what? No. It's like tomato, tomato. Come out.
There are definitely other ways. I think there, what would you, okay. If you could go back and like change one thing in history, what would you go back and fix or change? I mean, there's an obvious one, but I think that's kind of Hitler. Yeah. But I think, Oh my God. Yeah. I didn't even think about that. Why would this guy? Oh no. Cause the portal, it was the sixties.
The portal takes you to 1960 only. Oh, oh. What? Why? Seems like kind of a... For the book. Probably Stephen King was like... He had the book finished, and then he was like, oh, Hitler. They obviously would have done Hitler. Oh, my God. Yeah.
Well, no, actually, it's a huge part of it that goes to 1960, because everything I'm saying happens in the first 20 minutes of the show, so I'm not really spoiling it. So the idea is to kill JFK, you have to live three full years, because he didn't get killed until 1963. And the portal sends you to 1960.
So if he misses a shot, he sleeps through his alarm on the day. Yeah, they have to start over. Oh, fuck.
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Chapter 3: What was their experience with Japanese Hooters?
We got to deal with this. We just got back from Japan. Speaking of airports. We're not going to give you too much detail as to everything that happened in Japan because we've got, we filmed four YouTube videos that are going to come out over the next, starting next week. February is Japan month. Yeah, and we don't want to ruin it.
But we're going to talk – we'll talk about it in like a – But in a macro sense, it was awesome. The food was awesome. The people were great. The letters are impossible to read.
Chapter 4: How do they feel about the language barrier in Japan?
Didn't know what – Reading.
You know what?
One of the craziest things that happened – Not crazy. It's not crazy that it happened, but the thing that I was thinking about is there was a time the other day where someone was writing me something out on a piece of paper. In Japan. In Japanese. Okay. And I was like, this just... The letters just seem harder to do. Or it just seems like...
Ours follow the same kind of... We get max three changes of direction.
Yeah, yeah.
Theirs is like a small picture. It seems hard to be that precise. So if you can't draw, are you just illiterate over there? Because they're all kind of pictures.
Maybe they can all... Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Okay, Kelly.
All right. So we're in we're in Japan. We were in Japan. And Willie and I board our flight and we get settled in our seats. Trying to fly back. Trying to fly back to California. And I'm starting to like doze off. I have my headphones on. And Willie texted me like, wait, what did they just say? And I was like, I don't know.
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Chapter 5: What interesting cultural observations did they make?
And then he was like, I think they said we're going back to the gate. So we go back to the gate. They're like, hey, one of the engines isn't working. No, we actually didn't go back to the gate. They were just like, we have something to fix. Oh, yeah. We definitely didn't go back to the gate.
But yeah, they spent – long story short, they spent five hours trying to fix a mechanical issue with our plane. And then we're like, actually, you have to get off and we can't even go back to the gate. So you'll have to walk off the plane and take buses back to the airport. And then they rebooked us all. They rebooked some of us on a flight two hours later. So inconvenient. Could be worse.
They booked some of us on a flight 25 hours later out of a different city. So this guy gets booked on a flight two hours later. I get booked on a flight out of Osaka the next day. So I had to go sleep in an airport, then get up, go back, or sleep in an airport, sleep in a hotel, go back, then fly to Osaka, and then fly from Osaka.
And I ended up on the same flight as Lucas and Caleb, who had just decided to spend another day having fun. And have like a blast. They had like an awesome day in Osaka, and I was just in the airport for two full days. It was horrible.
Before the flight even got canceled, when you and I were going to the airport, you were like, you know, I thought about like just adding an extra day, but I was like, you know, let's just get back. I literally almost just booked it and then I ended up on the same flight. So I've been in airports for the last two days. I'm exhausted. We also immediately got separated.
Like, it wasn't like we were on the same bus. They were like, all right, everyone in this portion of the plane. Which portion? The front portion. Yeah, the front portion gets a flight two hours later and they get immediately whisked off the plane. No, no, no. I don't think the rebooking was based on class. Because there were only one other guy in my section was on my flight there.
And we kept seeing each other and being like, whew, that was close. Everyone else was, like, screwed. So what happened?
uh the second they said it was canceled i opened my delta app and it was like do you want this 1250 flight but i did that too and it wasn't there i did it like immediately like and so i clicked it it got me on another flight the guy next to me then calls the flight attendant over and had the same thing but his like the second i clicked that i wanted it it disappeared on his app like i think i got the last one jesus
And so he was like, there's a, which also like the flight attendants, not the one like booking your flights.
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Chapter 6: What challenges did they face while traveling?
He was like, there was a flight here 30 seconds ago and now it's gone. And she also doesn't speak English. So she was like, okay.
Is that what she said? She said, Konnichiwa. She said. I learned Konnichiwa. I learned Arigato gozaimasu.
So Caleb, we learned what I'm sorry was. And every time we said it, like it was a home run joke. And we were like, what is so funny about that? Caleb ran into a guy and was asking him like, because I think that guy was an English speaker, but like had been in Japan long enough that he was the perfect guy to talk to.
And he told the comparison that he made to Caleb was it's the equivalent of when they're here and they say hero. Like, it's just which is implying that the equivalent is that we all point and laugh at them. No, he just means like it's funny not because of any like cultural difference or like we're using the wrong term, but it's just impossible for us to say it.
By that logic, why aren't konnichiwa and arigato funny? Because I think that they're expecting us to know those ones. Got it. So I think it catches them by surprise. But hero is something we'd expect them to know. I'm not totally rocking.
What if it's like, I'm sorry.
Yeah, I don't think that would make me laugh. Yeah, I guess... I'm not sure I get it. Yeah. But it was... Our theory was that, like, it's, like... Because I think that it also is true that, like, saying sorry, like, carries more. Like, they don't... Yeah, we were... Because they were laughing really hard, so we were like, does it mean the one that's, like, I've brought shame to my family?
Like, I'm so fucking sorry. Because we... We were trying to figure out how to say goodbye. We were there for seven days. We learned a handful of phrases. They don't really say goodbye. They're just like, all right, thanks. Yep. They just kind of say thank you to say goodbye, I think, or either that or right. I'm going to be honest. I did not pick up a lot of Japanese. I was trying.
I wasn't trying very hard.
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Chapter 7: What humorous moments did they encounter during their trip?
I didn't try that hard either. I guess sayonara counts, but you told me that's like see you never. Yeah, that's what we asked a guy, and he's like, oh, sayonara. So then we're like, sayonara. And then another guy was like, oh, yeah, though. That's like, see, yeah. Sayonara is like what you say before you go to war. It's like, I may never see you again. I don't know.
Do you like Japan? Yeah, it sounds fun. I have a lot of questions. I just don't know what you guys can and can't talk about. Well, you can ask him and we'll tell you if we can or can't talk about it. Was there a lot of people just speaking English? Can't talk about it.
No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, I would say most people speak some level of English. What we learned is if you start with Konnichiwa and you make some attempt to not just immediately like run in and be like, we're speaking English. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were completely good with speaking English. And they all speak pretty decent.
There's also a lot of like English signage like in like the airports and train stations and like. Okay. Certain parts of the more touristy parts of the cities and stuff. So it's pretty, you can totally get around without speaking Japanese. Okay.
The first place we went to eat, like right when we got there, it was like a, you know, where you like grill your own meats in front of you and like the whatever. Korean barbecue? Yeah. Close. Japanese. Oh. It was Japanese-Korean barbecue. So we get there, and no one's coming over to us. And so we learned there, you have to call them over. Yeah, you have to be like, hey, hey, I'm ready.
Excuse me.
We were like, that is so risky. If this Reddit thread is wrong, then we're just going to look like asshole Americans.
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Chapter 8: What reflections do they have about their experiences in Japan?
Yeah.
and so we're eating and then right before the food comes out she brings over she brings all of us bibs to wear like these like cloth bibs and it's like not really a messy dinner it's kind of like a you know pretty standard and no one else there's another group there was like another japanese couple they're eating the exact same thing and they were not wearing bibs and so we were like do you think they're in the back like i bet i can get these fucking idiots yeah
I think the bibs, everyone else thought we were getting clowned like clowns. I think it was just like the oil could like spread off. Spread off. I mean, did people have bibs like at their table? No one else had bibs. We were the only guys. But there were only like two other people in the restaurant. Yeah. But we were the only Americans.
We were the only ones eating bibs. Well, did you snap at the waitress to get her to come over and ask about it?
Hey. Hey.
Hey.
hey ready oh i forgot birdie's here dog by the way give her a mic in case she's is there a camera on her uh yeah your camera kind of shows her there's a new bluetooth speaker that's also headphones saw it on fallon I have a handful of questions for you. Were you watching Fallon live? No. No. No one's watching Fallon. Fallon's taped. You can't watch Fallon live. So you were watching the clips?
Yeah. It's taped? Yeah. It comes out not live? Correct. Why did they switch?
It's never been live. Oh. Jimmy Kimmel's live.
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