Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
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Well, hi there. It's me, Julia Louis-Dreyfus. We're back for Season 3 of Wiser Than Me. We've got so much more wisdom to share from the magnificent old ladies featured this season. To celebrate the start of Season 3, we've added some groovy new items to our Wiser Than Me merchandise collection. Head over to our merch shop to check out all of our great stuff, like a classic Wiser Than Me baguette tote bag, a kitchen tea towel with my grandma Didi's delicious peanut butter cookie recipe featured on it, and a brand-new, gorgeous, hardcover Wiser Than Me notebook to capture all of this season's bits of wisdom. Start shopping today by visiting wiserthanmeshop.com. Lemonada Just a quick note before we begin. This episode contains discussion of sexual assault, and there is a brief conversation about suicide. If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or contemplating suicide, you can call or text 988 to access a trained crisis counselor.
Okay, so we got invited to a fancy friend's fancy apartment in New York for dinner, the kind of thing I'm usually actually quite good at getting out of gracefully. But in this case, it actually did sound like a nice group, and I hadn't been around humans for a bit, you know, because I've been working and whatever. And so off we went. And I got seated next to a gentleman whom I have met before, and I've never really gotten to, but what the heck? I mean, how bad can it be? Uh, bad. Yeah. Okay, so first of all, he starts to butt into conversations from all around the table. The mansplaining gets going pretty fucking quickly, and we learn that apparently he's an expert in everything. And most of all, in making a lot of money, which is just so thrilling to hear about, again, from another Ivy League-educated white guy who wouldn't know his own privilege if it ran him over, which it did several times. But did it stop him from bloviating? Oh, no, no, it did not. And like I said, you know what?
These were fancy friends, and they have a little balcony thing, so we were sitting outside, and it was a lovely early fall evening. And as this guy is pontificating about his latest trip to Dubai and the rising value of something or other, and I'm just praying that dessert is coming so I can get the hell out of there— I started to notice this really weird smell, right? I mean, it's like this awful smell. And it's very close by. And I'm trying to identify it. And then it hits me. Oh, my God, it's dog shit. This motherfucker is not just completely full of shit, he has stepped in shit. Okay? Dog shit. What a tremendous justice this was, but it was an awful stench. So dessert comes, and I hurry through it, and I make an excuse, and we hightail it out of there.
And that dog crap smell follows us into the elevator where I'm telling my husband about how awful this guy was. And then the smell is with me straight out into the street, and it's still lingering as I'm, you know, dotting the I's and crossing the T's of my description of this, let's just say it, asshole. Yeah. And it's not until we are literally stepping into the cab that I realize the dog shit is on my shoe. Yeah. Here endeth the lesson. Judge not that ye yourself be not judged and all of that. But my big takeaway was that when you step in dog crap, you really have to just throw away the shoes. And my other big takeaway is how much I enjoy talking here to the wonderful, wise women on this show.
I mean, it's so refreshing and revitalizing for me, and I hope, dear listener, for you too. So thank God, thank God then, that today we get to talk to someone who is not full of shit, but is full of wit and grace and talent and wisdom, the incomparable Rita Moreno. I'm Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and this is Wiser Than Me, the podcast where I get schooled by women who are wiser than me.
Some actors have a kind of motor, an energy in their performances from role to role that is kind of supernatural. You know what I'm talking about? It's like an inner light that they bring to all their characters. They seem somehow to be totally alive, powerful, and impossibly vibrant. Thank you so much for having me. Totally captivating to me.
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