Show notes
The definition of perfectionism, how it shows up in a writer's life, and what to do about it. Show Notes: Hello Indie Authors! I'm Valerie Ihsan, and This is Season Two, Episode 20 of the podcast and it's 8/14/2019 as I record this. Perfectionism But first the personal update segment: Course work for Sweet Spot Strategy; contact me via email [email protected] to meet with me (virtually or locally) for a four question interview. Tell me what your challenges are and how you think a coach or mentor could help you. I'M READING: In fiction, Just finished Sparks by Maren Anderson and loved it. Now reading First Frost by Sarah Addison Allen, also loving it; Non-fiction: Almost done with Twyla Tharp's The Creative Habit I'd like to remind everybody that this podcast is sponsored by my supporters at Patreon. And being a patron of the arts is a totally cool thing to do. Joining my Patreon community also gets you sneak peeks into my creative world. For $1/month, or more, less than a pack of gum, you too can become a patron of the arts, and me! Find me at: Patreon.com/valerieihsan. Resources: kriswrites.com Main topic: Perfectionism Perfectionism I want to talk about perfectionism. What it is, how it shows up, and what to do about it. WHAT It has to be perfect before I can release it out into the world. Why? People will think I'm dumb if it's bad. People will think I'm a loser if it's bad. I'll be embarrassed/horrified/ashamed/mortified. People won't take me seriously is if not professional. I'll let myself down if it's not the best I can do. [Xxx] won't be proud of me if it's not any good. HOW (Stuck in cement.) Rewriting it for ten years and never publishing it or moving on to another project. (Never start.) Find excuses why you can't work on your book. (Kids, partner, no support, no resources, mental illness, chronic health problems, job, too much to do...) I didn't want to be bad at something. Writing was what I was good at. I didn't want to find out differently. Logically, I knew that books needed to be edited and reworked after writing them, but somehow I didn't *actually* believe that. Somewhere deep inside I thought that if I was good enough (insert negative belief structure to read: good enough person), it would be practically perfect and people would exclaim, "What?! That's your rough draft?! No way!!" Not only did I not want to be bad at something, or more accurately, *look* bad, I didn't want to know that I was sub-par. Not good enough. As a human. WHAT TO DO Know that your first book will not be your best work ever. It might be the best you can do *right now*, but you will grow as a writer. Your skills will improve. Here's how I battled perfectionism one time: I was just about to publish my first novel. It was out at the ARC readers (which is past the point where you want changes to your manuscript--unless it's dire) and one reader (another author) got back to me about what she perceived as a lack of motivation for some of the characters. As if, I--the author--just wanted the characters to do something and so they did it. I was so done with working on this book. It had taken me a couple of years to finish and I was proud of it. When she gave me the feedback, I said, "Thank you. I can maybe see how you'd think that, but here's the thing. It's my first book. I know it's not going to be the best thing I ever write. It's good enough for a first book. I'll make more. But it's time to let this one go. I'm not going to get to be any better of a writer by re-working the one over and over for another six months to a year. But I will improve by writing another whole one." And on another note: RESOURCE: The Pursuit of Perfection: And How It Harms Writers by Kristine Kathryn Rusch I've heard people say that if you aren't doing it, you don't want it bad enough. I'd always get so mad hearing that. I did, too, want it! I just had all this other stuff in the way--what I thought were legit reasons. But, really, what they were was not excuses, it was perfectionism. Perfectionism is self-doubt. AND, I've discovered, a crazy mutant version of the inner-editor. So one thing that helped with that was Nanowrimo. I learned two things the first year I did it (and finished): 1) I worked faster than the inner-editor could keep up. When I'd hear him running up behind me, I stuff earplugs in and say, "It's not about quality, it's about quantity. I just need the words right now." And, 2) I *did* have time to write. With a family, raising two elementary school-aged children, and homeschooling my 2nd grader. None of my excuses worked. I wrote a whole novel in one month. (Maybe you'll learn something different from Nanowrimo.) As far as the self-doubt goes, I just try to remember that everyone (even Lee Child and Steven King and Sandra Brown and Clive Cussler and Rachael Herron and Joanna Penn--read: all authors) has self-doubt. It's part of the writing process. It's part of being an author. When I remember that, I can default into self-care. I have several in my toolbox: Affirmations Meditation Journaling Artist Dates Reading Writing Connecting with other authors Surrounding myself with people who think I'm awesome Read books and listen to podcasts to get inspired, change my mindset, and learn new things. (If I doubt my ability to do something, I'll study it until I'm confident I can do it.) Do something that inspires me Last thoughts about perfectionism--the kind that keeps you from writing or putting your work out into the world: Go to Goodreads or Amazon and read the reviews of famous authors. Lots of people hated The Great Gatsby; Eat, Pray, Love; The Lovely Bones; and The Davinci Code. If your reviews are coming in and some of them are 1 stars, you're a real writer, and in the company of some of the greats. The biggest epiphany I ever had as a writer was: My husband is not my target audience. I was never going to write a book that he loved, and that was okay, because he didn't read the kind of books I wrote. I was a much happier writer after that. How does perfectionism show up in your writing life? How can you deal with it and push through to success?