Chapter 1: What health issue is Will facing at the start of the episode?
We're going on tour. We're doing live shows and tickets are selling fast. Will, it's a new look show.
What are we doing?
What are we doing?
We're doing sketches. We're doing a little bit of improv. We're doing a little less live pod, a little more live show. Yeah, mix of both. Some variety, some fun things like that. I think if you guys have been to a show before, you've not seen anything like this. If you haven't been to a show before, you've obviously not seen anything like this because you've never seen it before.
Yeah, it would be a good balance of both. Yeah, I think we want to have a lot of fun. We want to try some new stuff and we think it'll be really enjoyable.
Cracker. Tickets are in our link. Shows are in June. Get them. We're going to Perth, Newcastle, Sydney, Gold Coast, Wollongong. Coughs. Coughs. Tickets in our buy. Let's go.
Yeah? Okay, let's just... No, no, no. No, no, no. What I'm saying is like, let's just... What? Okay, ready? I liked that. You need to give more build up. You're just going like this. No, you're not giving enough width. Ready? I love that.
Oh, I love that. I love that.
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Chapter 2: What embarrassing moments did Pat experience at his 10-year reunion?
Say more width, bro. Actually, no. Sorry, I feel bad about that.
Are you fucking serious?
Yeah, sorry. I feel bad about it. Yeah. No. No. Yep. No.
Hands.
Cunts.
Yeah, that was fine. No, one more. No, that was bad. No, I didn't like it. Fuck, bro. This is so annoying. Yes.
I like that. All right.
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Chapter 3: How did the boys react to the gross Uber AI voice?
I didn't love it. Fuck's sake.
Do you want more?
Yeah, one more.
I like that.
Let's do that.
Hey. Doing cunts. That would be a funny clip is you stare at you like just sitting in the chair the way you were and I'll just keep clapping. Write that down. Clip.
Clip it. I'm not in it.
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Chapter 4: What hilarious stories do Will's friends have for Pat?
Oh, you're not on camera.
We can just do a fake. We can do it. Ready? We'll fake it now. Ready? You just do, just have you looking fucking like you're annoyed. No, less acting.
Stare at like, just stare at, stare at the fridge. And then rub your eyes like fucking hell.
And then maybe a giggle like, are these cunts fucking serious? I didn't believe that.
That was good. Okay. Welcome to the pod. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. Now, if you've been shitting out of your ass, if you've been vomiting out of your asshole and your mouth, your name might be Will Gibb. Food poisoning alert. You know what, though? I can never tell if it's food poisoning. I kept Googling. Do I have food poisoning or gastro?
Well, it's not a clear-cut thing. I don't know if there's a strict answer on it, you know?
Yeah, you can never tell. And they send you, like, the... If you felt these symptoms are more in line with food poisoning.
That's fucking bullshit, mate. You're shitting... Water, you're vomiting shit. No one can tell if it's gastro or food poisoning, bro.
You reckon?
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of marrying a murderer?
And I like accidentally binge ate. Yep. I ate a lot of food for me. So I ate half a block of Cadbury like top deck bubbly. Yep. Then I ordered this like massive Kirtosh chocolate cookie. Yep. Ate the whole thing without realising it and then like a whole box of shapes or like half a box of shapes when I wasn't hungry.
Like I was full and I was forcing myself to just like snack and eat while I was watching this movie. Then I'm putting myself to bed... The night before, by the way... I'd went to bed at four and woke up at eight. So I was on four hours of sleep. Then I got a text from a mate of mine that was like, yo, we're in the city. We're having a couple of drinks.
And I hadn't seen this guy in probably like two, three years. And I was like, fuck yeah. Like I'll come meet you. So I got out of bed, got changed and shit. went out to the city, didn't have any drinks, but then stayed out with them till like two, came home, slept, and then in the middle of the night, oh no, the way fucking home, I was feeling sick.
The Uber, the taxi driver, I shit you not, 120 kilometers an hour through the tunnel, that cross city tunnel. Wee!
dude life of my i was literally clutching the fucking i was like dear god get me home he's copped the fine and god doesn't give a fuck about my faggot kind but i was like brother if you care about me get me home flying down this cunt i get out it felt like i was on a roller i was like The fucking, what was the one? The hyper DC. Hyper coaster, bro.
Imagine the hyper coaster, but it's a fucking, the guy stinks a bit that's operating it. Yeah.
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Chapter 6: What are some funny hotline stories shared in the episode?
That was the fucking vibe. He smelled. The guy, my taxi driver stank like shit. They often do. See, it's racist if you think that's a race thing. That's racist. Because I haven't said anything about... That's true. The fact that you're laughing, Kyle. That's racist. That's really bad.
You shouldn't be laughing. Because you're laughing like we've said something wrong. Like, oh, that's a bit etch. It's not etch. It's just a fact.
So then you're associating that with what? With what?
Well, I'm not associating with anything. Okay. I thought it was a funny comment. Right. I got banned from Uber once for fucking telling the guy, can I please put down a window? And he refused and he kicked me out. No. Yes, bro. What? He kicked us out. What? Yeah, anyway, story for another time.
No, alright, he kicked you out during the... Oh, so you're pissed. And you're probably going, oh, can I vomit, bro? Anyway, get out.
So can we open a fucking window, bro? Because you were going to vomit. No, I've never vomited in an Uber. How pissed were you? I don't know, bro, this was years ago. That's not the question. I'll get to me being pissed on the weekend after your story. That's not the question. How pissed were you? Not very pissed. But you just don't remember? No, it was like fucking six years ago, bro.
I was going from pre's out, so not that pissed. Right.
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Chapter 7: How do the boys feel about their upcoming Patreon content?
But that standard back then would have been... You would have had about 40 beers. No, I probably would have had maybe half a bottle of Jim Beam. Is that serious? Yeah, because my old man... Is that a prease? Huh? Is that your prease? No, I wouldn't sit in my room with half a bottle of Jim Beam. No, no, I'm just saying, is that how much you would drink at prease?
I remember one time before I went to the Cursor concert, I had maybe... Three quarters, I was fucking legless. Went there and screamed some Cursor songs. In my chinos and Vs and everyone else was in fucking TNs. That's sick. Fuck me, it was out of place.
Anyway, I stumble home. Literally stumbling. My G-force is all fucking whacked. I get to sleep and at about 6 a.m. I wake up. You know that feeling? Yeah, I'm going to vomit.
Oh, no. Does the inside of your mouth go a bit watery?
Yeah, and you're swallowing a lot. When I'm swallowing, I'm like, yep, it's time. So I go, vomit, vomit, vomit. Go to bed. And I'm like, that's fine. I overate and I fucking was in a crazy taxi. A bit run down. Yeah. Wake up the next morning. My head feels like it's got a 50 billion kilos of concrete attached to it. You know, you can't even... Like standing up is like... And you're like, bro...
and just lethargic fatigued like walking up the stairs to have a shower i fully had to like lean against the door and be like like okay like it felt like i'd run a marathon i was like fucking hell i couldn't even walk up the stairs had to sit in the shower couldn't stand yeah and then it's almost where you'd have a bath i reckon yeah well i had a bath as well no diarrhea though okay
Sunday rolls around. This is where I've got the diaries. But are you still vomiting on Saturday or not? Saturday I only vomited the once. Yeah, okay. And then, but also what happened was it was that heavy fatigue and broke was the worst. I know those days when you're like, okay, I'm just going to sleep this off. You go to bed, you're physically tired, but mentally you're not.
So it's like, go to bed, go to bed, go to bed. You think it's been three hours, 40 minutes.
Honestly, can't, I'm not, not me.
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Chapter 8: What unique takeaways do the hosts have about food poisoning versus gastro?
That is me every single night. It's so bad. Hey, every night I'm physically exhausted. I can't sleep.
It was me from 11 a.m. till like 10 a.m. the next day, just forcing it, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. And I couldn't even watch TV. Like TV was tiring. Like it was just that awful feeling. Sunday comes around, head's a bit better, but motherfucker, we got the runs. And that's where I pooed my pants. I sent you guys a photo. Yep, yep. I vomited again randomly. I was just in the shower.
Whoa.
And then like vomiting out of my ass. Sorry guys, if you're eating, put your food down. But like, I could see like the undigested food in the toilet bowl. Just as water though? You know when you see chunks in your vomit? Oh, right, sorry. It was that in my shit. Sorry guys. Yeah, isn't that normal? Isn't that what poo is? What do you mean? Like poo is chunky, isn't it?
No, but you know how you see like vomit chunks? This is disgusting.
Poo shouldn't be chunky. What do you mean?
This is awful conversation, guys.
Come on. Yeah, that's not chunky, though. You shouldn't be able to say bits of food in your poo. Unless you have corn. That's so true. But you know those weird... You do say lots of corn.
You know those, like, clear... It almost looks like onion in, like, your vomit. It's, like, weird, like...
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