Chapter 1: What big announcement does Pat make about the upcoming tour?
We're going on tour. We're doing live shows and tickets are selling fast. Will, it's a new look show.
What are we doing? What are we doing? We're doing sketches. We're doing a little bit of improv. We're doing a little less live pod, a little more live show. Yeah, mix of both. Some variety, some fun things like that. I think if you guys have been to a show before, you've not seen anything like this.
If you haven't been to a show before, you've obviously not seen anything like this because you've never seen it before. Yeah, it would be a good balance of both. Yeah, I think we want to have a lot of fun. We want to try some new stuff and we think it'll be really enjoyable.
Cracker. Tickets are in our link. Shows are in June. Get them. We're going to Perth, Newcastle, Sydney, Gold Coast, Wollongong. Coughs. Coughs. Tickets in our buyer. Let's go.
Love you guys.
Love you, boss.
Love you.
Get a load of this shit, everybody. You're a sick cunt. Get a load of this fucking shit. I had a hire car in Melbourne. I got fined. Fair enough. Now the fucking company who I hired the car from are trying to charge me a fucking administration fee.
On top of the fine. Wait, have we started the pod? Yeah, cunt. I just got the email. Wait, so we're ready to go, are we, Kyle? Not to hijack Pat, but are we ready to go, Kyle?
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Chapter 2: What happened to Pat with the hire car company?
Tom, you can lead a horse to water, alright? There's only so much you can do with the youth these days.
You can lead... We are paying him. You can lead a Phil Gould to the mic. But there's only so much you can get for him to start. Oh, yeah. I'm dripping. Oh, I've got a video backed up and ready to go when your uncle from Queensland comes over. I filmed it the other day. Like, when your uncle from Queensland comes over. And I'm like, mate, who do you support? Blues.
What, you're raising a pool fire? And then I tap the jersey and I go, blood and bone, mate.
That's good.
That's fine. Of course you'd like the taste of anything homo, you fucking poof. Now out you get.
Bang.
You watching this on the fucking YouTube? I got a fucking 22. I have a full on 22 rifle in my hand. That was so wrecked. So keep going, Paddy.
I'm going to wait now. My story's been thrown. So I fucking have a hire car when I went to Melbourne.
How'd you get a hire car? You're meant to not have a license.
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Chapter 3: What are some rude jobs mentioned in the episode?
Point being, we're on the same team now. Yeah, we are. 55, bro, fucking, they're just going to take it out. There's nothing you can do. I signed the agreement. Yeah, you did. But they just fucking slime you for anything. You know what I mean? Like you get charged for tolls and they add their own fee on top. It's like for what? Like actually for what, cunt? Well, can I?
Like it's a fucking slimy little industry, bro. I hope you all fucking get flat.
Can I go from one slimy industry to another? Please. So I'm obviously looking at real estate. And this is what fucking gives me the shits more than probably anything of all time, right?
Sometimes when you're scrolling down the fucking list of suburbs and shit... If you didn't realise the transformation there, it's real estate agents are also fucking slimy is what Will's getting at, I think.
No, not just real estate agents. The entire industry itself... So I'm scrolling through and I'm looking at places and I'm like, oh yeah, pretty nice, pretty nice, pretty nice. And then you come across on the advertisement, there's like new developments and you see the most gorgeous photo of a place. And I go, wow, well, I've set my budget to this. I'm going to fucking dive in and have a look.
Must be in there. It's in the budget. That's the filter I put on. This is what they do. The fucking grunt cunts. It says even down below, amazing photo. And then it says... One, two and three bedroom apartments available from, let's say 1.6 million. You go fucking hell. The one bedroom's 1.6. Wow, that's amazing, right? But also, is that the one better, the photo of it?
Little do you know, you then click on the thing. This example I'm giving is a place called Origami Residence in Bondi Junction. They look amazing, right? And one of the photos, I was like, damn, that's sick. That's so cool. And it's in my budget. Holy fuck. Then you'd get the breakdown and the fucking photo that's in my budget range is from a fucking four and a half million dollar apartment.
Don't show that fucking photo, mate.
Yeah, it's fucking bull.
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Chapter 4: How did Pat react after watching Wuthering Heights?
It's kind of like, oh, this t-shirt's an extra $15 more. No cunt's going to stumble across and be like, oh, fuck it. I'll pay the extra two and a half mil for that one. Extra fucking three and a half mil. You're not conning cunts in just to pay a little bit more money, bro. Bro, what the... It's just bullshit. But what are they getting at? There's not even a... You know what I mean?
You can get that for an extra 10 bucks if it's like a fucking... I hate it, bro. A drink bottle. That's a cool drink bottle. It's like, oh, well, this one's actually $10 more. It's like fair enough. And then you inquire. Unless you're costophragist, they're fucking slimy, bro.
Then you inquire and you go, oh, actually, no, sorry. I'd love to have a look actually at... At the one that is my price range, I can see it's right there. Look, there's one that says it's for 1.2. Can I have a look at that one? And you get it and it's just a piece of dirt. It's a shoe box. It's a fucking shoe box.
And it doesn't even have a fucking Nike tee. Shoe box with no view. It's a fucking, you know what it is? It's a Skechers shoe box. What's that? You know the shoe Skechers?
Yeah. Are you saying they're bad?
They're just a bit like, just like, you know what I mean?
It's a rank shoe.
It's just a bit of a weird shoe.
Bad shoe.
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Chapter 5: What are the hosts' thoughts on engagement surprises?
Where's your purpose?
Where's your purpose? Where's your drive? Like, I feel like if you go too much, you're just going to, it's like when you beat a video game and then you're just bored.
Yeah.
But then on the flip end, if you ask for like a nice number and then you exceed it and you go, fuck sake, why the fuck? I could so see myself going, what the fuck was I thinking about? Cause, cause the fucking mad like yacht would pop up for like, and you go, fuck sake, I should have just fucking asked for a bill. But then I don't know. So what do we reckon our numbers would be?
I think I know mine.
This is the thing, right? Because no matter what I'm saying an amount that I can buy like crack a house. And a jet. A private jet.
Private plane.
Yeah, like an Airbus. An Airbus. Like a private Airbus. Like all this shit. And it's kind of like, okay, if I've got that much money anyway, I'm pretty set. Like if I'm at risk of losing purpose in life- It's probably going to happen with owning all those things anyway. So you might as well just go all out and be able to buy a fucking island.
No, because can I tell you something? This is all I need in life. And I know this sounds like ridiculous, but like all I need is my dream house and an Airbus. And then I'm chill.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts feel about the real estate industry?
Yeah. You get what I mean, eh? Kinda. I reckon I'd take a bill. What about you, Kyle? Give me five. I'd take ten bill. Give me five bill.
Five bill?
I'll go ten with you. I'll go ten. Are you serious? What's the point? Bro, if you're going 250 million, might as well just go ten bill.
I'm going a hundred, Bill.
Like, what are you doing with 250 mil? Like, you're not working at him.
Tell me your thought process behind that. I don't know. I just thought like, then I'm going a trillion. I want to know your thought process behind 250 mil. I want a trillion dollars, bro. And you know what I'm going to buy? Buy the world, cunt. Bro, I swear to God, I would buy countries. See you, Seb. See you, Seb.
I'd buy countries and kick out all the uglies and just, I'd like create like a gay country. You wouldn't have to kick them out, can't they? They'd be fucking fleeing.
All the normies would be out of there, bro. You wouldn't have to kick them.
Yeah, I don't know what I'd do. Tell me the 250. I want to know. House in Chloe. Yeah. And then that's it. That's all I need. Okay, so you're not working again. No, I am working. I'd use the rest of the money to make my own movies. And I'd just make movies forever.
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Chapter 7: What discussions arise about the value of money and purpose?
No, not is she going to get naked. I just mean like... I really like Margot, but just put it... I mean in the sense of like when I... Actors can persuade me in movies. When I watch a movie and it's got like an actor, I'm like, fuck yeah, I really like that. But because it was set in this really old time, I think the...
The set and the design and the costume, all that shit outweighed the pull that Margot would normally have on me as an actor. Whereas Jacob Elordi, I don't think I've ever watched a movie with him. I don't really care. But Margot, I'm a big fan. So I was like, okay, Margot doesn't have a normal pull here. It's getting outweighed by the other things that I don't like in a movie.
And then it got to a scene where, like, they were doing, like, fucking freaky bondage shit on, like, a sex swing or something. And she's watching from above.
Yeah.
You know, and then he covers her mouth. And I'm kind of like, oh, this is, like, fucking really raunchy shit. Yeah. And I was like, this is going to build up to something crazy. So I'm just kind of... Yeah, same thing. And then it got to a certain point where I was like, fuck it, I'm a little bit invested in this. I think when she married the new guy.
Yeah.
And then the storyline kind of got me. And then I just, I started watching. And then I thought it was going to build up to the point where Elordi and her would have like the most, I don't know why. Like I just thought it would be like, I literally said to you, I was like, I think there's going to be honestly borderline porno on this movie. Like the way it's building up right now.
Like it's going to be absolutely fucking nuts. And then it was sad and what happened and I teared up at the end because it was a bit of a sad story. And it's a message, bro. It's deeper. Just love who you want to love, bro, and do it. You know what I mean? Just fucking like, if you want to love, bro, just love.
You know, for a point there, I was thinking, you know, people fall out with their mates and she's like, oh, my mate started dating my ex. I was almost team let him date your ex after that movie, bro. I was like, you gotta love someone. You know what I mean? Are you still that team? Nah, you can't date your mates. That's what I'm saying. The movie got me of kind of like, bro, fuck it.
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