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You Wouldn't

Hair Dresser Punch Ons

26 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 11.145 Kyle Sopono

What's that? It's the sound of our camper van flying through the states, because let me tell you something, we're zooming and we're coming to you very shortly. Pat, where the hell are we going?

0

11.165 - 27.827 Kyle Sopono

We're going to Gold Coast on the 10th of June, Coffs on the 12th, Newcastle on the 13th, Canberra on the 14th, 16th in Wollongong and the 24th in Sydney, but if you're not fucking quick enough, tickets are selling fast, so you might not be there. Tickets are selling out, so by the time you hear this, you've got to jump online or else you're probably going to miss out.

0

37.358 - 70.277 Kyle Sopono

Last week, fuck around and got a triple-double. Everything's gonna be Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Dude, the way her voice goes, like... Bro, Alicia Keys is a sick cunt. Go, dude. Like, her just as a person, she seems like the maddest cunt. Is she? Some people want it all. What the fuck? Wait, can we look at a couple of her other songs than The Bean Spillers? Yeah.

0

70.297 - 94.241 Kyle Sopono

Because I feel like there's a few that we've even done and understand. Underdog's crap, bro. She's just a fucking vibe of a human. She's a vibrator of a human. Yeah, she is. That's exactly how I'd describe her. Now. They're for everyone when they need. Speaking of music, I'm going to jump straight in. I went and saw a movie last night about the Michael Jackson biopic. Okay. Who played him, bro?

0

94.261 - 114.802 Kyle Sopono

Jafar Jackson, like his nephew. I don't want to sound... Did he transition in the movie? Do you know how he went from black to white, pretty much? Well, it's been split into two films, which it says his story will continue. Oh, that pisses me off. So there's going to be a second one. Listen, bro, his life's not that good that he gets two fucking movies.

114.822 - 115.923 Will Gibb

Well, this was my thing.

115.963 - 134.502 Kyle Sopono

Not with the allegations against him. Well, I'm glad you brought that up. Because you're watching it and you're like, fuck, this is just standard bullshit biopic movie where it's just like all the same beats. Like every movie's like, those are the same. But then you've just got the best music ever. But like, I didn't really, this is obviously what the movie is meant to do.

134.523 - 156.556 Kyle Sopono

But I was like, Michael Jackson. Yeah. Like, okay. Michael Jackson. Fucking hell, bro. Like just as an artist, as a performer, like probably the greatest ever. Like there'll never be another MJ ever. Bro. Cunt. He was fucked. Him as a kid? Him as a kid. Do you know that he was in a band as a child?

157.517 - 159.841 Unknown

No. Yeah, the Jackson 5. Oh, yeah, I know the Jackson 5.

Chapter 2: How does Michael Jackson's legacy influence pop culture?

204.245 - 206.715 Unknown

Oh, really? Who were the other kids?

0

206.856 - 214.366 Kyle Sopono

Tom's Latoya. That's the sister. Anyway, Pat.

0

214.386 - 216.73 Unknown

I'll send you this message right now.

0

216.75 - 219.073 Kyle Sopono

The photo. You had it handy.

0

219.794 - 223.459 Unknown

Yeah. It's on dad's Instagram. I know that. And he doesn't post much.

225.397 - 232.968 Kyle Sopono

Wow. That's strong. I remember this photo. Oh, were you guys meant to be the Jackson 5? I just thought it was funny.

233.609 - 236.494 Unknown

It literally says when you order the Jackson 5 from Timu.

236.554 - 258.176 Kyle Sopono

Oh, I didn't see that. Anyway. What a family, bro. Bro, the Jacksons or the Saponos? The Soponos. I'm still not sold on the Jacksons. No, well, this is my thing, right? Because it's made by his like estate, the Jackson estate. Apparently, from what I heard, they filmed all this stuff about the courtroom, about the accusations, all this stuff. And I say accusation.

258.196 - 279.928 Kyle Sopono

I mean, like, come on, let's be so fucking real. Like, anyway. What do you mean? Like, obviously he fucking did all that fucked shit. Like kids aren't going to make that shit up. Anyway, regardless of that stuff, he fucking like that. So they filmed all that stuff. Then they had to scrap it. Cause like legally they're not allowed to show any of that stuff.

Chapter 3: What happened with Yisra and the hairdresser?

411.781 - 429.617 Kyle Sopono

I've heard the argument of like there were kids there who's the family might not have been so look into it too much, you know? And it's tough when it's literally like, like there's not a single person on this planet, even close to his, what his love Taylor Swift, maybe. But no one- Yeah, but in that era of no social media- That's what I'm saying.

0

429.637 - 448.855 Kyle Sopono

He's got a performance at the Superbowl where he just stood still for like three minutes or something. No, dude. And apparently there was a Kanye Z, but then Michael start fucking singing and he just took his earpiece out and he just stood there, bro, for so long. And everyone says like, it's the only like person who could ever do that. Like no one was like, start singing. No one was booing.

0

448.915 - 456.081 Kyle Sopono

It was like, it was the modern day aura maxing, bro. Can we find that? You don't even understand, bro. He's the guy. No, bro.

0

456.061 - 487.779 Kyle Sopono

no bro he's the he's got to be the goat because someone to have those allegations against them and still have a fucking movie made about their career and still be that successful is crazy dude he is so goaded i can't i can't even fathom how goaded he is and his music is because this is thriller oh yeah but you know what i mean yeah Just beat it. That song is so good. Beat it. No, no.

0

487.799 - 489.06 Kyle Sopono

Beat it is so good.

489.341 - 492.804 Pat Clifton

Billie Jean is not my lover.

492.824 - 493.425 Kyle Sopono

I like that one.

493.545 - 494.786 Pat Clifton

She's just a girl.

495.186 - 513.427 Kyle Sopono

And have you heard him actually sing like a ballad? I don't know. Maybe. Bro. He's cracker. He's actually, him as a kid, bro, was just cracker as well. Anything, any, any, all of it. Michael as a whole. Yeah. But then you've like, I'm not going to go watch it. Cause like, what if this is a thing, bro? I feel bad.

Chapter 4: What are the boys' thoughts on gaslighting in relationships?

701.841 - 733.349 Kyle Sopono

What, his hair got lit on fire? Yeah. And it nearly killed him? Yeah. Get to it. Oh, so a firework exploded. That's fire. Oh, Michael. You got to tuck, tuck and roll there, lad. I'm sorry. He didn't nearly die from that. He did because it singed so much of his scalp that it got to the nerves. Like if that had like, he got third degree burns on his head.

0

734.411 - 755.373 Kyle Sopono

And I think that's what started his addiction to painkillers, which eventually killed him. Well, his personal doctor overdosed him. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, because I think this- I'm pretty sure he got charged for manslaughter. For this. I think that's kind of triggered everything. I think he'd still be alive. I think in the rock and roll world, you're dibbling and dabbling in drugs. No, he wasn't.

0

755.594 - 774.136 Kyle Sopono

I don't think he was that sort of person. Well, I'll fucking tell you what, I'd rather be doing drugs than touching kids. That's what you want. 100%, bro. Touch a fucking pinger cunt. Apparently, allegedly. Touch a pinger cunt. Anyway, that's Michael. I'm glad you liked it. It pisses me off as a part two, though. Oh, my God. I'm not going to go. So what, it got to half of his life?

0

774.396 - 799.352 Kyle Sopono

It just finishes this one, so then it goes, his story continues, then it ends. But how old was he when they got to him? Oh, far in. Like he was starting to get a bit pale. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Oh, well, there you go. I know you're not going to like this, but I do. Pussy. While we're on TV. Tits. No, not that either. I like both of those things a lot. At Home with the Furies. Okay.

0

800.024 - 825.031 Kyle Sopono

And so, it is what it is. It's a Tyson Fury's family affair TV, reality TV show. And it's just... Have you watched it, Kyle? No. It is fucking hilarious, bro. I think you would enjoy watching it, even though you're not the biggest fan of him. In what way? There's seven kids... And it's just fucking chaos, like absolute chaos. The kids are the funniest little cunts ever.

825.552 - 845.231 Kyle Sopono

Like he's like two and three year olds, a fucking hilarious. And the whole time you're just laughing. Like it's a really fucking good watch, bro. I really think you should watch it. I think you would enjoy it. I can't with the dad. He's not in it that much. He's in it, but he's not carrying on in it. You actually see a bit of a different side to him. I can't with him, bro.

845.251 - 866.286 Kyle Sopono

But he's not that much in it. It's mainly the family. And it's just chaos. I'll give it a try. Except last night was a fucking intent, bro. Because he obviously lives with his... That's why I really like Tarsefiri. Because he's obviously a big advocate for his mental health. But I can like... Not to sound weird, but whenever he talks, I can like... I'm like, yeah, I get you to a degree.

866.346 - 867.067 Will Gibb

He speaks to you.

867.147 - 870.811 Kyle Sopono

I feel like a lot of- You'd be mates. No, it's just like- You'd be best mates.

Chapter 5: What are the details about the Coffs Harbour show?

2210.686 - 2220.979 Kyle Sopono

I'm just trying to... Sounds like it is. I'm trying to push Will to the limit of when he would slap. Okay, so keep going. Cock bouncing. You fucking cock slurping.

0

Chapter 6: How do the hosts feel about their upcoming tour?

2221.52 - 2242.122 Kyle Sopono

Cock bouncing like it's a trampoline fucking. Bet you fucking jump on a pogo stick with your ass, you fucking. I've walked away. No, I'm holding you by the. And I can't pick my phone up yet? No. Your phone's on the floor. I've got you by the collar. Like, yeah, you fucking cunt. I'd pull his pants down and start sucking his cock, I reckon. Okay, there you go. Aggressively. That's good.

0

2242.863 - 2246.367 Kyle Sopono

Like, you like that? That's good, that.

0

2247.494 - 2273.586 Kyle Sopono

in reality i wish i could just throw a fist straight away and it connect and actually do something crazy that'd be my dream that'd be my absolute dream all right now so what did you say you wanted to do like just throw hands immediately yeah straight i don't condone it at all but if someone's saying that and like aggressively walking off like if tiana walked away and someone started aggressively walking after of course you've got like

0

2274.443 - 2305.84 Kyle Sopono

I don't condone. How was he going to stop them? I feel like- Oi, stop. Of course you're going to have to physically grab them or apprehend them. So what's next on the podcast agenda? No, that's true, but- But what's next on the podcast agenda of this episode? Because I'm looking at Pat who just texted something and now I'm like- Oh, no, no, no. I was texting Shep. Oh, yeah.

0

2306 - 2311.388 Kyle Sopono

Oh, I was just getting the phone. Kyle was looking at his phone and I went, what the fuck? Should we call somebody?

2312.249 - 2312.41 Pat Clifton

Yeah.

2312.71 - 2332.579 Kyle Sopono

Don't do it now. Yeah, let's call someone. Shut up. Let's call the cunt from Coffs. This is what we're doing. We're calling. Who is it? Hugh? Yeah. We're calling Hugh from Coffs Harbour. He bought a ticket. This is what we're going to do. We're going to call people who have bought tickets to the shows. And we're going to ask you a question about the pod.

2332.6 - 2357.005 Kyle Sopono

And if they get it right, you're getting a hoodie. That's what's up. That's what's fucking up. Hugh Bowen. Fuck, close to Hugh Bowman, that. Who's Hugh Bowman? One of the greatest jockeys of all time. Hi, Hugh, speaking. Hey, Hugh, how are you, mate? Yeah, good, thanks. How are you? I'm good, thank you, mate. It's Pat and Will from the You Wouldn't podcast. Hi. What's going on?

2357.325 - 2373.192 Kyle Sopono

You fucking mad cunt. You know why we're calling you? Nah, why? Because you bought a ticket to the cough show. And you're a sick cunt for that. And we've got a question. If you get it right, you win a hoodie. Oh, okay. All right. Wait, wait, wait. Before, you live in Coffs?

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