Jake Howie the Baddie
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What funny stories do they share about giving and receiving awkward gifts?
I did give him to her. She did like him, but she she wouldn't say no. But she did like him. But like she wouldn't say no.
That's because she's a nice person. I I feel like if someone picks out a gift for you And you don't like it, you just pretend.
Well I already said I was like I hope you like it 'cause I can't return them. So What's she got? That's not a nice way to use the present.
No, but I didn't say it like that. Yeah, just the first thing you get given a present. I hope you like 'em because you can't return them. Yeah, well I obviously just say it like that.
But who would ever go, I don't like these, even if you could return them? Me. Really? That's Tanti. I know, I'm sorry. I'm you look at it. That's actually not it's Brassy.
Yeah, it is no, but no, I'm always grateful, but like for example, oh my god, we'll just let's just roll in. Um roll in, roll in. I'm always grateful for presents, but if my yeah, for example, my dad does it a lot, he'll he'll open it up, right? I don't I don't need this. Who wants this? And then he'll just revolting. Yeah, I know. Who wants it? I don't need it like that. See, I'd probably take it and be like, I love it. Oh, except for so bad for the person. It depends who gives me the present. My dad does that now, like I'll do the same to my dad. But if my grandma gives me something, I'm I'm always gonna be like, Oh my god, thank you. Yeah.
Give her a kiss on the lips. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. But do you lip that's he lips is his grandma still.
You kissed your nan on the lips. I've kissed my nan on the lips before, yes. No, but like at this age you do it.
Isn't that weird as fuck? But who did you kiss on the lips? My girlfriend? No. Shut up. Y Granny's lips, but you kissed your dad on the lips. But I kissed my dad on the lips when I was like fucking a kid, probably. Not as a grown adult.
No, that is I mean, kissing on the lips as a kid is fine, but I feel like the nan is weird because I always feel like nanas have cold sores. I don't know, it's just weird. Yeah, yeah.
It's just weird a twenty seven year old kissing your nan. That's weird. Full stop. So you would never kiss your nan? I kissed my name on the cheek. What's Jacob?
Um But can I just ask you though, like how long does the how long do the lips touch for? Like five seconds.
No, that's fucked in. It's literally like you don't it's like a ghost yeah, ghost touch. And it's supple and it's not supple. But isn't it weird when you're both coming together, like face to face? No, because I'm like ba-buh ba mwah like that. Do you have to move your head to one side? I'm kissing her on the cheek, but there are times where we've kissed on the lips. Actually, I've never kissed Barb on the lips, I don't think.
No, you're Nen. Oh, Barb, yeah. Well you did you've said you have.
Don't backp don't backpedal anybody. I don't know. My Barb. My grandma. Okay. I've definitely kissed her on the cheek.
Okay.
Do you have grandma? That's fine. Grandma and grandpa.
They both did.
Yeah.
Oh.
Thanks for bringing that up. I know it's funny.
They were all old. They were old, but I didn't kiss them on the lips. Damn. Yeah.
Um, we're okay. I'm gonna introduce our guest.
Go. Give it your best.
We're here with um Fucking intro. New Zealand's premiere comedians. And we're here with somebody who, when I first started comedy, was like uh a fairly gay, a fairy gay grand. Like what is it? Like a fairy gay godmother, yeah. Um, so I'm here with, and Pat's here with. Jake Howie. The baddest. Thanks. Is it bad that I'm clapping for myself? No, that's absolutely should clap for yourself.
I was like a very gay godmother to you though. Do you know how we met?
Uh stand up comedy, I'm sure. We'll mention briefly you you've been an OG since the beginning.
Yeah, we met I met what it was one of your first geeks, I think, wasn't it?
I think so. Maybe my second geek.
You were so he was so young and so you were quite quite nervous.
Yeah, it was was it a close it was
at the Kooji Bay Hotel. Kojuji Bay Hotel and it was really a really busy night. And the Koju Bay Hotel was always full of rooh like it was raw. I went there a few times.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What funny stories do they share about giving and receiving awkward gifts?
0:07–5:02
2
How do the hosts introduce Jake Howie and discuss how they met?
5:02–14:53
3
Why do they talk about the challenges of stand‑up comedy and posting online?
14:53–30:58
4
What happened with Patton’s relationship and moving to the Central Coast?
30:58–1:06:09