Three Touches I Love You
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Yeah, boy. Claude. Claude. What's that? Sounds like you're saying Claude. You know that girl and she's like, she used to play Fortnite. She'd be like, Claude. She was really funny. Welcome to the potty, guys. Thanks for tuning in. Welcome to the podcast, guys. This podcast is brought to you by the Patreon. I was trying to do an ad, don't worry. It was brought to you by the Patreon. But I was going to do a real Addy ad, just as a joke, but then I started laughing. You know, like a radio thing. It's like, this episode is brought to you by Patreon. For just $9.99 a month, you can sign up. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. That's what's brought to you by Tool Vlogs Out. Olivia Rodrigo's out. Bonus episodes every week. Fucking get it.
So I've just opened my notes, right? 3.34 a.m. I wrote this, this morning. Okay. So I've woken up from a dream and I've gone, fuck, dude. It's one of the best movie ideas I reckon I've ever had. Fuck, okay. All right, so now I hope I can remember this.
Oh, you've got it down.
Yeah, but like I wrote it at 3.30, not like thinking I would remember it, just prompting it. So I've written three touches, I love you. So what me and Tiana do, right, sometimes... If we're in like a social setting. That's all you wrote? No, no, no. There's more. But sometimes if we're in a social setting or like in bed at night, like during the night, like you just do one, two, three, like three touches. Like I love you. And then the other person will do it back. It's just like this little thing we do, right? And then I wrote underneath it movie. And then sad one ended on three. Which means like, imagine the ending of a sad movie and like the last thing they ever do is like the one, two, three touch. And I was like, nah, that's not that good.
Or this is where it gets fucking good. This is so chaotic. Someone physically can't and a doctor deep dives into them saying they're a liar and discover all these crazy things about them.
What was Pat's 3:30 a.m. movie idea called 'Three Touches I Love You' and how did he first remember it?
They're a killer, et cetera. Now I need to try to unpack. Say it again. Someone physically can't squeeze them three times.
Fuck, no, this was the one that I was like... Say it again, say it again, word for word.
Someone physically can't and a doctor deep dives into them saying they a liar and discover all these crazy things about them. They a killer, et cetera. They a killer. Fuck, no, it was actually a really good one. They physically couldn't squeeze them. Why? Why can't they physically squeeze another person? Maybe because they were dying. Like something's wrong with their hand. When it turns out that their hands got broken because of a kill. But why a doctor? So I think the idea was like somebody... Oh my God, bro. It was a billion dollar box office at 3.30 when I thought of it. No, I'm telling you. I'm telling you it's not. No, no, no. You shut your mouth, you negative piece of shit. Why can't someone squeeze someone three times?
Because the idea is like... Somebody, they can't squeeze them, right? Why? Like say his hand's paralyzed, his left hand or whatever, like his thumb or something. And then that's what someone realizes. And then it ties back to he's been a liar because he lied about being able to do it. And then like, maybe it links back to a murder where like, somebody couldn't use their hair or like there was a stab wound that didn't match up with a normal stab wound because they must have held a knife funny or something in their fingers not their thumb and then like it was like oh fuck and it all ties back to him because he's he couldn't do the i love you touches or some shit uh that's what i this morning it was a much better storyline in my head and i'm really annoyed now but do you not think that okay no this bro i'm telling you this morning what i just explained to you then was the worst movie i've ever heard yeah
What I had in my head this morning, like I'm on a yacht in Monaco, retired for the rest of my life. Yeah. I always have that, though, where I'll wake up, I'll be like, I just have the best idea ever for a movie. I'll write it down and then I'll look at it and I'll be like, you couldn't pay me to watch that.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:07–2:06
2
What was Pat's 3:30 a.m. movie idea called 'Three Touches I Love You' and how did he first remember it?
2:06–4:51
3
How does the 'three touches' ritual become a murder-mystery plot twist in Pat's billion-dollar box office pitch?
4:51–13:41
4
How did Pat expand his movie idea into a Wolf Creek–style abduction and Stockholm syndrome twist?
13:41–18:45
5
What happened when they saw Toy Story 5 and how did Larnie's cinema meltdown cut the screening short?
18:45–27:15
6
Which Australian chicken chains did they rank and what made Frangos and Chargrill stand out?
27:15–39:37
7
What improv restaurant sketch did they perform and how did the 'passive-aggressive server' bit land?
39:37–51:11