206 | Why Growth Feels So Uncomfortable (And Why You Shouldn't Escape It)

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What is “The Gap” and why do entrepreneurs experience it?

Erin Gray 0:01
Welcome back to your money, your rules podcast. Today I want to talk about something that I'm currently experiencing. I have experienced multiple times. I'm sure if you're listening to this podcast, this has also occurred within you as well because if you're running a business, if you're going after things that you want in your life, going for your dreams and your goals, you're going to experience this. And that is something called the gap. Some people call it the messy middle, the in-between, whatever you want to refer to it as. But for this episode, we'll refer to it as the gap. It's the place where you have let go of who you were, of the old identity of who you were. and where you are moving towards hasn't fully arrived yet.
Erin Gray 0:42
So let's dive in. So let's talk about wanting to escape the gap because I think that this This is natural. This is what humans do. We don't like being in the gap. We don't like how it feels in our body. And the gap is that space between what I call it's the difference between what the 3D world, if you were to look at, let's just say your PL or your revenue, if you were to look at your 3D numbers, they don't represent what where you are going. That 3D hasn't yet come. Caught up with the 5D, right? You have become someone new, you have a new identity, you are taking action from that new place. And the results or the 3D world, the numbers in the bank account, the revenue, the body, whatever it might be that you're working on hasn't yet come to fruition yet.
Erin Gray 1:35
And because a lot of us aren't used to feeling this way or don't like the way that it feels in our body, we want to do something to make it go away. So I want you to think about, and this what I'm gonna list off here is you could do some of these things, you could do all of them, you could do one of them.

Why does growth feel uncomfortable before results appear?

Erin Gray 1:54
I just thought about some of the things that I used to do. I've gotten a lot better at this. I'm not perfect. Like I said, I'm currently in this right now and I recognize the I think it was yesterday I messaged a friend and I was like, I'm sitting here and I'm in the gap and I'm just being really compassionate and loving with myself because it's sometimes I think you just get to a point where you're like, what else can you do? So think about what are your go-tos when it comes to being in the gap? Do you go to overworking? Do you get and I'm air quoting, you know, busy Do you take a course or think you need to hire somebody else, or maybe even an employee, or hire another mentor or advisor? Do you start making impulsive or fast, quick decisions?
Erin Gray 2:39
Do you start feeling doubt? Do you get pulled back to the familiar and what you're used to doing? Are you a social media scroller? You know, like do you zone out and watch? Netflix or Apple TV. One of the things that I noticed I used to do when I was in the gap is I would message my friends. Yes, I did say I messaged my friend last night, but we were already kind of talking about back and forth some other things, and I was just sharing with her. But what I recognized a couple of years ago is I would be in the gap and then I would want to text my friends. To kind of share what I was going through, but it was coming from this place of like, I don't like this feeling in my body. Please give me some certainty.
Erin Gray 3:19
Let me take some certainty for you so I can feel secure and safe and certain about what's going on. Like I was seeking their validation, their support, because I hadn't yet built that and anchored that into with my own self and my own being. And I think a lot of us, you know, mistake that this discomfort, this uneasy feeling that we are feeling in our body is a sign that something has gone wrong, or maybe, you know, there's some thread or belief here of like this is not okay. And I think some of our most deepest

What common habits do we use to escape the discomfort of the gap?

Erin Gray 3:55
potent work that we can do as business owners, as visionaries, is to get really comfortable with being in the gap. It's like, let me just pull up this chair and let me just settle in. And let me just get really comfortable with being where we are or where I am.

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